Infants at ceremony

I also read your post in its entirety. I brought my twins to a family wedding when they were 3 months old. They didn't cry at all, but even if they did, most babies don't just burst into hysterics immediately. They'll fuss and whine and hopefully by then the parent could calm them down. My sons then slept through almost the entire reception.

I 100% would never leave my newborn baby with a stranger, so don't even offer that. I would actually be more offended by someone thinking I'd just hand my child over to some random person, but that's just me. I would also be offended that it would be assumed that I wouldn't walk away with my fussing baby, and that the better alternative would be to tell me to just not come. I think you're causing unnecessary drama with your new family.

And even if you're outdoors, the hypothetical wedding-ruining screaming that you're worrying about will still get softer when the parent walks away with the baby. Yes, people may still be able to hear it, but it's not like it would be just as loud as if the parent just left their baby screaming.

I don't even really like kids, and I would be offended. It's likely they would sleep through at such a young age. I'm sure your SILs would be considerate enough to remove themselves and the baby if they started to fuss. If they do, it won't be for more than a minute until they are out of ear shot. You can just pause the proceedings, without drama, and give them a chance to get away. That way nobody is missing any part of the ceremony and your videographer, if you have one, can edit out the cries. I've seen it done that way when a low flying plane went overhead and was noisy. Let them both come.

I'd be so offended if I was one of your SILS. This would be an indicator to me that you care more about your "vision" than your family.

Yes, babies cry. Put something with a nipple in their mouth, though, and they quiet long enough for the SIL to get far enough away so that your "vision" won't be destroyed.

Like, what if it rains? Or if it's 100 degrees? Not sure what part of the country you are in, but I am in NY and I would not want to be outside in June in my dress clothes in the heat, humidity and general buggyness. Is your reception indoors with air conditioning? What if it rains the night before? Then you have to worry about mud.

It's odd you don't seem concerned about bad weather or any of the other outdoor elements, but Buddha forbid an infant whimpers.

I will have probably 20 kids between the ages of 2-10 at my ceremony (none so young as you describe but I think there is a greater risk of "noise" when they are a bit older). I want my cousins and sibling to enjoy the day and I love the idea of my entire family being together celebrating so I didn't consider not including the young kids. I figure if there is a disruption on the video, it will be something to remember and laugh about whenever we watch the video!

Yea, you're being ridiculous. Even with a child-free wedding, infants should always be an exception. Asking a family member to miss your wedding just to be on the safe side that no one hears a baby fuss is absurd to me. It's not a toddler who is prone to screaming fits at the drop of a hat. If the baby is dry and fed and being held by the mother, chances are you won't even know that baby is there. Let your family know your concerns and ask if they would be offended to sit in the back for an easy exit if needed.....but do not ask them to miss your wedding or hand their child off to attend.

The small chance of this affecting your ceremony is not worth ruining your relationships with your family. They probably think you are being extremely selfish and I don't blame them. Really, how much is a baby crying going to affect you? At worst, you hear it in your video for 10 seconds and them more softly for another couple of minutes while they walk away. Is that really worth making your family feel like crap? Is that going to ruin your life? It is selfish and absurd that you asked them that, I would apologize.

If I was your SIL (family) and you asked me not to attend your wedding ceremony because you didn't want my newborn crying during your ceremony, I would be offended. Talk about possibly ruining your relationship with these women. You should want all your family there with you, newborns and all. The flowing river right near your ceremony will create background noise, as will any other outdoor noises (birds, people coughing, etc.). And I imagine your SILs will be respectful enough to get up and walk away if their babies start crying, which I imagine they won't because newborns sleep a lot. One of my sister's BMs had a baby right before their wedding and she not only slept through the whole ceremony, she practically slept through the whole reception. We never heard a peep out of her.

If I were to be uninvited to a Ceremony, my children would not be part of the Processional. Mothers like to actually be there if their children are going to be part of something. Especially something as special as a wedding ceremony. A new mother is not going to leave her newborn. Making her choose between the two is not very nice, even less so considering you are family. I think that not letting the SsIL attend with their infants will have long lasting consequences.

(Sorry if I misread this, but by "They have other children who will be part of the processional" I assume you mean your brothers and SsIL)

Exactly. My two 5 year old grand nephews (twins) were supposed to be ring bearers. Many of my guests didn't know there were 2 ring bearers before the ceremony and only saw the one before it started. Well that one had a total screaming meltdown about a minute before the ceremony and my niece's wife just rushed him to the back and calmed him down and then brought him out and kept him with her on her lap during the ceremony. When the ceremony started and my other grand nephew walked out as the sole ring bearer, my boss (who was there with some co-workers, and we are corporate event planners) told me later that he turned to my co-workers and said, "you can tell ____ is a great event planner. One ring bearer bails and she had a substitute ready to go right away." We all had a great laugh over it and my grand nephew had a great time! My niece was mortified and I told her right away not to give it a second thought. They're children, things happen. It's no big deal.

You can't ask a mom to leave a baby that young, in my opinion.

I have to agree with most PP. These are your nieces and nephews, your brothers, and your sisters in law. Family. You can't just tell them you don't want them there in the unlikely event that their children cry. And even if they do, I don't know why people get so worked up with their ceremony being absolutely perfect and silent. Someone could start sneezing or coughing. Someone's phone could go off. The wind could blow your hair into your face. Your officiant could drop his papers and run around trying to catch them. A chair could break. A bird could sing. A dog could run through. You literally never know what could happen. I would say that a baby crying should be the least of your worries.