In Laws and Invitations!

I think it should be your parents and your names since they are the ones paying for everything.

But as an option to include the FIL's say something like "together with our families" then no one is named specifically but everyone is included.

Can you do "Mr. and Mrs. Brides parents names request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter Mrs. Future W to John Doe, son of Grooms parents names" ?

If its a religious ceremony you could change the wording from "pleasure of your company" to "the honour of your presence"

If you wrote it that way, their names are on it, but your parents still get all the credit for hosting and generously throwing you a wedding.

I like Megan M.'s idea. Or you could simply go without the parents' names at all, but that could be considered rude to your parents. What does FH think?

Is it possible she doesnt understand proper wedding etiquette, that normally the people hosting the wedding (aka paying for it) are listed on the invitation. Maybe explain to her that it is very normal for just the brides parents to be listed. Or i like the other idea of "together with our families"

I would not include his parents. They aren't doing anything and its typical for the bride's parents to be the only ones. If its a big deal do together with their families (we are doing that even though we are paying for 9% of everything just to be respectful).

Megan M. said what I would've suggested... that way the ILs' names are included, but not as hosts, so it seems like the best compromise.

I would haul out the etiquette book and show them why you won't be doing that, then maybe they will understand. My best friend had this same problem...the ILs threw a fit AFTER the invitations were done, so they chose to appease them and included a note saying "due to an error at the printer, blah blah." She ultimately cancelled the wedding and has not spoken to the ex groom or his family since.

When my brother got married Her Parents paid for the whole wedding. When the invitations came out they had added their names,as if they hosted the wedding also. My mom felt very uncomfortable with this, because they did all the things listed as parents of the groom. My upcoming wedding, my parents are paying for most of my wedding, my fiancé and I are helping with the music and photographer. We may be responsible for RD, because my inlaws are from another country, I talked to them about it, but they have never mentioned it again. We are wording ours as above "son of........."

I agree with Aimee and Megan M. I'm guessing they don't understand how the invites work. Megan M is right, if your parents are paying for the entire wedding, the invites should be as she listed.

All of that being said, we had our invites written as Together with their familes. My parents will be paying for a large part of the wedding, we'll be paying for a large part of the wedding, and FI's parents aren't paying for much. They gave us some $ at Christmas that we're using for the wedding, but other than that, nothing else is planned. But, to include them, we are using together with their familes (to make everyone happy).

I would not include them. I would let FH parents know that they are not included is based on the fact they are not contributing not even in the planning because it's not just about the money.

I did what Meagan said, except it was the other way around. My parents can't be bothered and inlaws are paying for venue. I just put under my name daughter of parents name to avoid hard feelings and inlaws didn't mind

I would do what Megan M said. It is perfect. It makes it obvious who is hosting (paying) but there names are still on the invite.

How did this even come up? If they are not paying or planning. I would not have discussed the invitations with FMIL

I agree with Megan. But really? She will not be want to be bothered for anything but wants credit, ummm....

Well here is my take on things. Me and H paid for 90% of our wedding with my mother paying for flowers and other things and with H mom giving us a money contribution do whatever we needed to do. My father has passed away and H not on good terms with father. We had both our moms listed out of respect to them not because of the financial contribution but because we wanted it that way.

I like what Megan said, just to throw their name out there to keep from issues. Although I side with you not wanting their name on there to take credit when they're not doing any of it.

We're doing "together with our families" just to keep the peace between parents.

I understand what you are going through just recently had to deal with invitation drama myself. But after a while I just told myself that I want to honor my father for what he is doing for me and fh so now I'm no longer feeling bad for sending out the invites with only my parents names on it...my personal opinion is honor your parents for what they are doing for you.

Thank you so much everyone!! I think we're going to leave them off. I spoke to our invitation guy and he said that we can use the excuse of being completely traditional. My FH doesn't really want to include his father - they don't get a long and he is just a guest at the wedding, IF he even comes. My in laws are divorced and we wouldn't have enough line items to include them separately and can't do one without the other. It wouldn't have even been an issue if the comment hadn't been made. There are just a lot of "suggestions" and I don't want to disappoint anyone. It sucks that I can't discuss our planning without feeling guilty about not doing something a certain way. Thank you so much everyone!! It really helped us make a final decision.

I know you already decided, but i just have to say, these types of questions make me mad. your future inlaws are still your FH's parents. They raised him and they deserve to be respected. I dont know how so many brides on this website alone can rob their parents and their future inlaws of the respect due to them. In my honest opinion, who signs that check doesnt matter diddly squat, its still a matter of respect to include their names. They raised him, they DESERVE this. Like i said, i know you already made your decision, but it just really ticks me off when i see threads like this.

I think you did the right thing. If the in-laws say anything about it let FH deal with them.