i don't understand why people think planning a wedding is stressful.

As PP have said, it seems not stressful to you right now because you're still just under 2 years away. My FH and I started planning our wedding 2 years ago as well so that we could save money and I could graduate college and there was no stress then either. Especailly since I'm such a planner so I had our venue, DJ, photography, caterer all picked out before we hit the 18 month mark. However, we are 2 1/2 months away now and yes the stress is starting. This is due to getting all the final details into place that could not have been done any earlier.

I agree that time frame, date, budget and guests are all up to the couple but honestly that doesn't add into the stress. The stress comes when you're only 10 weeks away and still have so much to do because as I stated above there's certain things that can only be done this close to the date such as seating chart, timelines, etc. That is something you will come across when you get closer to your wedding day.

As someone else said before, not everyone can choose a further out date to save more money. For instance, I will not have health insurance until we get married because I make a few bucks over the Medicaid cutoff in my state and I can't afford Obamacare. We already had to push out our wedding to 16 months after our engagement because of family pressure to have a large wedding. I have been uninsured for almost a year because I lost coverage in August. This, to me, has been stressful, because we would not be able to afford any medical bills in the event something came up.

I can't say I've experienced a lot of stress in planning, but I can absolutely understand why others would. People's circumstances are all different. Family, work, school, and other monetary obligations may make the process more difficult. Also, people handle stress differently. Some may have better (and healthier) coping skills. The same situations can affect two people entirely differently.

Also, you mentioned to just scale down the wedding if there is money stress. Depending on where you live, that may not be very feasible. If you live in a more expensive place, then a $5k or less wedding isn't really possible unless you also then have hours upon hours of time to DIY (which not everyone does. Time in and of itself is a luxury) and don't hire any vendors at all.

It's great that you aren't experiencing any stress and that you didn't in planning your first wedding either. However, and I'm sure this wasn't your intent, it seems a little dismissive of others to just say "oh you're silly for being stressed. There's no reason to be!"

Planning my wedding is stressing me out cause I’m applying to medical school & graduate with my bachelors in science a week after I get married. We have to get married then because I’ll be leaving for medical school right after. It’s just a lot at once. But my future husband has been my rock through it all.

OP you say you teach people mindfulness. So surely that should be the answer to your question. If everyone had the tools you teach, you wouldn't have to teach it now would you? The answer to your question is multi-faceted, as many here have demonstrated, but the big one in relation to your "I don't get it" is very simple: not everyone has the same tools as you. Not everyone is the same and not everyone has learned how to let things go, or how to properly cope with stress in their lives so that it doesn't overwhelm them. And if they had, again, you wouldn't have a job.

I am getting the impression from your posts that you actually know that. I think you actually DO know what makes people stressed, you just want people to see that they are in charge of their responses and can mitigate that stress. Your question wasn't really "Why are y'all stressed???" it was more of an educational statement: "If one has the right tools one can mitigate their stress." And honestly, the latter would be WAY more helpful than the former here. This is the PERFECT location for you to post some comping mechanisms, different kinds of internal dialogue, things brides and grooms can practice before the big day to keep them cool and calm. THAT would have been amazing. Maybe you could still do that?

I agree with the OP but only when it comes to me personally not being stressed. I won't negate the fact that others could get stressed majorly about this. There are several factors that play into that. Not everyone is the same. We also gave ourselves 2+ years to plan. It's going to be small, and affordable according to our tastes. I just reach out for help if I hit a snag and roll with it

Thank you Shannon

Personally, I am having so much fun planning our wedding! I can see how it stresses a lot of people out though, it is a ton of work.

I’m happy that it isn’t stressful for you, but you’re also two years out. Come back when your venue has cancelled, you’ve had to scramble to find a new one 3 months out, you’re family is going crazy, half your guest list isn’t responding, and your MOH decides she may or may not come.
It may be sunshine and roses now, but soon you’re gonna want to rip your hair off. Or maybe that’s just me 😅

This entire post is a "pot calling the kettle black " situation.

In your own words "I don't get why the differing opinion of a stranger on the internet would stress anyone out at all. " yet you have just posted an entire post in reaction to someone/other people's opinions.

Apply your own advice. Feel how you feel about something and allow others to feel differently.

Some people have different lives and situations than you and your biased and self important opinion isn't constructive or supportive.

OMG same girl. There is really nothing stressful about planning something you're choosing to do. I don't get it either.

We scheduled our wedding two years out. We have a budget that works for our vision and have been good about maintaining that budget. We booked all our vendors ahead of time to get the ones we wanted and not have to scramble last minute. We did all the right things. Two years out I wasn't stressed out either. Now we are three months out and let me tell you, the stress WILL catch up to you. You will reach a point that you are juggling every single part of your wedding at the same time and it can get exhausting. And you can't control how other people behave. You can hire your dream team of vendors, but life is still unpredictable. We had to change photographer recently because our original one turned out to be totally unreliable which was an incredibly stressful process. The church we're getting married at almost didn't allow us to marry there because my documents were completely missing and we were scrambling to figure out a new location 4 months out (thankfully we figured it out). I learned the hard way that I have very little time to work on DIY projects and stay on schedule. Those are just a few examples of the things that have caused me stress lately.

And I can't just not invite people that stress me out. I have had family members stress me out in one way or another, it's practically unavoidable. Some people broke up after we sent out save the dates and now aren't speaking to each other, so the seating chart will be a pain to do. And my parents are divorced, so as you can imagine that is causing some issues. Besides taking photos, I have to keep them totally separate from one another. Do I just not invite them? Of course not. It's just the way life goes sometimes.

Trust me, you will understand eventually

I thought it wasn't stressful either when I first started planning, but now I'm a few months in and it turns out the people involved are more stressful on me than anything. I didn't anticipate the amount of people that would have the nerve to just demand an invite or get mad when I tell them no they cannot bring everyone else that they want, to disagree with EVERY decision I make even though they know me well enough to know I don't change my mind based on other peoples thoughts, my bridesmaids thinking that just because they're my friends that they can get away with sharing rude opinions or trying to change everything based on what they would do, etc. Turns out you get a bunch of people in on something and suddenly everyone knows better than you do about everything you want or should do lol.

Ours was a 2plus yr engagement so we haven't been too stressed. But I think it's all relative based on the person. The stress I'm dealing with is from two of my bridesmaids and the pressure they put on me to invite them to everything smh.

This might be one of the most naive posts I've seen on here. Good for you for not being stressed I guess? You have 2 years left to plan. Like almost everybody else has said, there are so many other life things that can be happening at the same time that cause you to also stress about the wedding. This post really feels like a giant "ha ha look at me I'm doing so well."

I have found the majority of the wedding planning process to be stress free. That being said, I tend to be very OCD about certain things. I am a perfectionist. I pay a lot of attention to detail. And I also don't like to feel rushed, so I tend to do a lot at once to prevent being rushed in the end. So sometimes I find myself getting caught in a tizzy trying to find the EXACT PERFECT thing. But this is going to be the biggest and best day of my life. I want it to be perfect. I feel like most brides get this way. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!!

You have probably felt zero stress because you are no where close to your wedding date. When you are about 3 months out, and it comes down to the very small details, you may feel a little differently. It does not matter how far in advance you begin your planning process. There are certain things you cannot do until you get close to the date. So enjoy the easy goings now.

But all in all, I am enjoying this process and will miss it when it is over. But I am also looking forward to being a Mrs.

Wedding planning can be FUN and stressful. Honestly, I feel like it's easier to say it's not stressful when you're a bit further out from the actual wedding like the OP, just an observation.

I'll just address some of the points mentioned.

1. As for money concerns sure you can scale back on just about anything in life but a wedding is a once (hopefully!) in a lifetime opportunity to craft your own vision and make it a reality. So while one can cut down a wedding to the bare bones, I can see how it would be painful for someone to let go of an idea of something they may never have the opportunity to do again. Not to mention all sorts of emergencies can crop up during wedding planning that may take resources originally intended for wedding expenses.

2. As for simply not inviting some people, that's easier said than done especially when people are interconnected or relatives. There can be long term consequences or severed relationships as a result of simply dismissing someone just because.

3. As for time stress, there may be valid reasons why someone may need to marry within a certain time frame like a dying relative for example or even something as cheesy as a sentimental date, whatever the case may be it's their right to choose a date but that doesn't mean it's gonna be easy and stress free.

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I suspect that's a lot of why it is low stress for you. Families can be stressful without planning--but planning just gives them extra opportunities to cause stress. If you're not close with them, that minimizes the stress.

Our wedding was low stress for the same reason--we didn't include family members likely to cause stress, and we didn't think of it as a production for which we had to keep up with the Joneses. But there were nonethless some stressful things--times when the two of us wanted different things, trying to figure out how to find everything from a rabbi willing to marry an interfaith couple to bridal bouquets long-distance (since our home state didn't allow same-sex marriage), and just generally trying to make sure we didn't forget anything important so people would have a good time.

I find this process to be pretty stressful. money is causing the most stress for me. we set a reasonable budge of $20,000. but literally every time we make a payment i want to throw up, fh is not stressed about money at all. i by nature worry about everything!! i know in the end it's going to be worth it but right it feels like so much.

my mother is also stressing me big time, and to be honest, when someone tells me there's nothing to stress over it just makes me crazy. i feel like instead of saying "you're stressed over nothing, you're overacting, etc..." someone could just say hey what can i do to help. planning a party for 100 people including food, alcohol and entertainment, place setting, centerpieces, color schemes/theme... it's a lot of work. idk about everyone else, but i have never had to plan something of this size. it's overwhelming.

i'm sure everyone handles is differently, but i think planning a wedding something that is totally acceptable to be stressed out about. i have 3 months left. i know it's going to be a great day and we'll have wonderful memories but it's literally all i can focus on anymore.

View Quoted Comment Totally agree! There is a lot of compromise!!! Family dynamics can be quite tricky. My fiancé comes from a large family and I have found it very challenging to keep the guest list in check. Weddings are expensive and when you are paying a lot of money you want everyone to have a good time

I think everyone can agree to disagree on this one :-) some people love the planning part and for others it is not their cup of tea. Some people have more challenging family dynamics than others and that can make it stressful. There is a lot of compromise for couples in the planning and some parts are more smooth sailing than others. Everyone goes through their own process when planning a wedding and it is normal to have some stress! But if you love it and aren’t stressed that’s great, but that doesn’t mean other people don’t have different dynamics that can cause them panic. It doesn’t necessarily mean they haven’t left enough time to plan or budgeted enough money or that their guest list is too big