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Expert June 2021

i don't understand why people think planning a wedding is stressful.

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Shannon, on July 11, 2019 at 11:35 PM

Posted in Planning 110

After disagreeing with something I said in another thread, someone said, "There's enough stress in planning a wedding. Go ahead and add some more." I don't get it. First, I don't get why the differing opinion of a stranger on the internet would stress anyone out at all. More importantly, I don't...

After disagreeing with something I said in another thread, someone said, "There's enough stress in planning a wedding. Go ahead and add some more." I don't get it.

First, I don't get why the differing opinion of a stranger on the internet would stress anyone out at all.

More importantly, I don't understand why people think wedding planning is stressful.

My thought is...It's YOUR wedding. YOU control what it is and how you do things. Why would you purposely do it in a way that causes you a lot of stress?

Money stress? Scale down your wedding or select a date further out to save more money.

People stress? Don't invite them.

Time stress? Choose another date.

I guess I may be the minority. We scheduled our wedding 2 years out to ease the financial burden and give us adequate time to plan. We are only inviting our closest friends and family. We don't care at all about keeping up with the Jones'. We're only having aspects of the wedding and reception that are important to us. I don't understand where the stress comes in.

If you find wedding planning stressful, I'd like to know...why does it stress you out? Could you do anything to ease the stress?

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110 Comments

VIP April 2019
Nikita · on July 12, 2019 at 10:43 PM
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I appreciate the main point you're making, but, reading through the entire thread, you are doing an awful lot of minimizing those who describe their stress. Might be better to ask people what coping skills they're using and advice they'd give to others so they could be stress-free... To me, it felt odd that your approach wasn't more strengths-based. Either way, not my place to judge. Still felt wierd to me so thought I'd mention in.

As per your initial question... My direct kin is incredibly stressful for me normally so I have distant relationships with them - which keeps us more amiable in small settings. But with how important the actual ceremony was for my husband we compromised (from an elopement) and that compromise meant I was navigating those incredibly tricky, fun, family dynamics. So yes, that was tiring and stressful. I could have gone another way and mitigated that stress. But my husband's happiness was worth more than the stress I chose to go through.
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VIP January 2019
Megan · on July 12, 2019 at 10:46 PM
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Planning our wedding was zero stressful until the day of, but I had a generous budget from my parents and I’m a planner. Try to be sympathetic of when someone’s budget hopes don’t align with reality, or other people’s family situations. I had a wonderful planning process, and I believe many of the “stressful” situations we see are self created, but some people truly have challenging situations
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Dedicated December 2020
Chelsea · on July 12, 2019 at 11:01 PM
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I LOVE PLANNING!!! For me, starting the planning process early releaves stress. I truly enjoy doing it! It stresses my partner out a little more but I feel so much joy from filling out planners and researching.
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VIP September 2019
CDickman · on July 12, 2019 at 11:02 PM
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For us it is the grooms women. Who has been his friend for years so Kicking her out of wedding would also end friendship.
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Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on July 12, 2019 at 11:38 PM
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YES YES YES!!!!! I wish you could post this a million times in every group in here. I only come on WW for the “wedding/bridal vibe” when I’m sitting in scrolling through my phone. But most of the time it’s just funny reading some of the “stressful“ posts and I typically SMH at most of the things written and asked on here. 🤦🏽‍♀️

I agree with you 100%. I have no idea why some couples would allow this event to stress them out. It’s not that difficult. Pick a vendor and move on. But instead, I feel like brides purposefully try to occupy every single second of the engagement with something wedding related. That’s why it’s stressful… They’re letting it consume their entire lives. It’s nuts and kind of hilarious!
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Master August 2019
CourtneyBrittain · on July 12, 2019 at 11:39 PM
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I think it’s just preference overall. Some people have been dreaming of their wedding since they were a kid, others just barely have a vision.
I am in the minority here with you where overall my planning isn’t been to stressful. Sure, there have been times where it’s hard, but overall it’s been fairly laid back.
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Master October 2019
Laura · on July 12, 2019 at 11:45 PM
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Our main stressor is the financial aspect. We have been saving but things always seem to cost more than you expect them too
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Super February 2020
Jeanie · on July 13, 2019 at 1:04 AM
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I 100% agree with you. While things can be stressful, you should be supporting each other so it doesn’t feel that way. I am refusing to do anything related to our wedding that doesn’t make me happy, or that’s not enjoyable. My fiancé knows that and is completely on board with it. Maybe it’s because it’s neither of our first weddings or that we’re a bit older now, but we just don’t see the need in stressing. In the big, grand scheme of things, it is one day. While it’s an important day, it is not worth causing angst in your relationship with each other, your families, friends or yourself.
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Expert June 2020
Marlena · on July 13, 2019 at 1:38 AM
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Planning hasn't been stressful for me at all I've had fun. We are a little under 11 months out and I'm mostly done except the little things and I've done it all myself.
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Master December 2019
Monique · on July 13, 2019 at 1:45 AM
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Love your photos. We did some star wars photos as well! My fh is a huge fan.
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