i don't understand why people think planning a wedding is stressful.

Overall it hasn’t been too stressful. I have anxiety so I stress over the little things like will everything I’ve chosen flow together and the what if’s...like what if my venue gets damaged IF there is a hurricane....you know things I can’t control. 🤷🏻‍♀️ That’s just me, always worried. I stressed a little over the budget at first because I wasn’t sure I could have what I wanted but it all worked out in the end. The majority of planning doesn’t stress me. FH and I knew what we wanted and are able to compromise when our opinions/wants differ. Other people’s opinions don’t stress me out, if they did I probably wouldn’t respond to people’s questions or ask for people’s opinions on this site.

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Have fun dress shopping!

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I'm a planner and I DO understand worry about things you can't control. We talked about an outdoor ceremony. I knew that the uncertainty about weather would cause me stress...so to solve that problem, we decided to find an indoor venue. No more stress.

View Quoted Comment Yes, I’m not stressed about the weather on the day of because we have an indoor reception and can move our outdoor ceremony inside easily. In the end it doesn’t matter where we get married, plus dancing in the rain under clear umbrellas would make for awesome photos. Lol I try to always look at the bright side of things.

I don’t find it stressful, but I’m an Executive Assistant and organize national meetings and events frequently. I will say that with planning a wedding now, check lists are huge. Additionally, there are forums like this to help people out.
I had a year to plan because I needed it, but was able to get over 30K saving on my location, save on deals online for probably another 5K, saved 1K on the DJ by finding a Black Friday deal and save on my dress by buying a sample (2K down to $600). So basically by having the time, I planned (in my opinion) one of the prettiest weddings ever. And who gives a crud if someone doesn’t agree? It’s our dang wedding! Heck, I had enough time to create and organize a StarWars theme sprinkled out and still be classy for my FH. He is thrilled, and very few people at the wedding care about StarWars.

Ladies - look for deals, use your check lists and pick the dang theme you want. Wedding stress = gone

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THAT'S IT! That is the mindset you need! :-)

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I look forward to seeing Star Wars theme pictures! I love those personal touches.

There are a lot of people in my life that I love and care deeply for that I disagree with on many aspects of wedding planning, my closest family and friends. They also put a lot of pressure on me because they are excited and want the world for me but have no money to speak of. I have to pay for everything and feel like I have to satisfy people's dreams of what my wedding should be like. Its beautiful and frustrating how much they care about my big day.

Also my wedding planning journey is the first time in my adult life that I have been ridiculed for being different from the status quo and that triggers me a lot.

For me personally it's fun and stressful at the same time. we planned our wedding 2 years out as well to help with finances. 4 months before our wedding we got kicked out of our place very unexpectedly and decided to just buy a house all while trying to plan a wedding. That's where my stress came in. At the same time I found out my bridesmaids dresses wouldn't work out so I had to find new dresses (long story there). And just last week I found out that our friend who was going to marry us can't do it now because my state has changed the law 3 months before the wedding. So I am currently in the process of finding a new officiant. So, its all the unexpected things for me, and with me having to back track and plan things that I thought were already taken care of, it makes it hard for me to move forward with the planning. I am still trying to have fun with it though. I know that no wedding goes perfectly, but I feel like I've had every set back possible at this point lol

View Quoted Comment These two photos will be displayed at the wedding for one aspect of it! That was a fun plan to shoot and surprise the FH with (I’m wearing my reception dress not the real one)

Your wedding is not til 2021. When I was a year and a half away, I felt fine. Trust me, once you start getting closer, then you will find out first hand how stressful it is.

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Hope it all works out for you. You seem like you're handling it well.

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Again, I planned a wedding at 22. No stress.

I think it's more of a personality difference. Some people are more prone to get stressed, have anxiety/tension, etc over all the details.. some are more carefree and easy going. Just like some people are more financially stable whereas others are maybe still in school and are limited financially.

My husband and I had a wedding planner when planning our wedding so we really didn't find it stressful overall. Honestly our stress came from our wedding party, friends, and family. My husband and I live in New York but most of our wedding party live in Georgia and Philadelphia so coordinating times and dates for everyone to get together to purchase wedding attire was tough. Our family and friends also wanted to turn our wedding into a family/friend reunion so it was stressful telling people they couldn't bring uninvited guests. Other than that we loved planning our wedding, it was really fun. I seriously considered being my planners assistant afterwards, that's how much I enjoyed it.

View Quoted Comment Because some people have anxiety and simply can’t just “process it and move on.”

For me its not the planning of the wedding... I mean trying to figure out the decorations, real or fake flowers... those can be a little stressful. Whats got it for me are the parents... He has two sets of parents (divorced and remarried) and I have a set of parents that aren't married (been together for 13 years) The thing there is one set of his parents are extremely religious (God MUST be first in everything) but you see here lies the problem. He believes in god and everything of that nature and I'm Wiccan... and worst yet they know that. But they are trying to convert both of us... to the point that they said they wouldn't help with the wedding unless the ceremony was in a church. He is stressed about it and I am just trying to be supportive of him. Its put a strain on him and in the end, on us about the wedding. He wants to have his dad there, but not if they are going to be that way towards us.

Weddings do test a relationship, it can bring out the worst and the best in people. We have both decided that we want them still to come, but we are not asking any financial help from them. I basically said I would like for them to be there because that is his dad and someone that was there for him. But in the end I told him its his decision whether he wants them there or not. I would support his decision no matter what. In the end I feel that is the only thing we can do.

Everyone's stress levels are different in regular day to day life. So to say nobody should be stressed planning a major life event would be untrue. Everyone is different. And it might not be so much the money or timeline but rather the amount of effort that gets put into booking vendors on a budget on top of a full-time job. That's a lot of work. If everyone just picked the first vendor they spoke to then yeah the process would be easy. Or bought whichever decor product they wanted without price checking other sources then yeah the process would be easy. And then on top of it other outside sources add stress including family and friends. Nobody intends to pick a bridal party of their best friends thinking they're gonna be a pain in the arse after they committed and should've known costs, etc. There are many factors!

My mom has always said the first real test of a couple is planning a wedding together. Think about it: weddings involve money management, religions, families, friends. All of which will be factors in your marriage.

My MOH commented on how relaxed everything has been the last few months because I haven't going crazy. I feel those who are stressed out about planning, or Bridezillas, tend to be those who bring it upon themselves.

View Quoted Comment Exactly this.

Everyone: Please don't let OP, or anyone else, make you feel like it's not COMPLETELY NORMAL to be stressed during such a major life event.

Op: you say it's not a contest but then you're quick to respond to people and tell them you've had the same stressful event in your life and you weren't stressed. Congrats...?