i don't understand why people think planning a wedding is stressful.

Finding a venue was stressful, til we found one.
Guest lists are stressful. I'd still like to squeeze about 20 more people on.
Seating charts are stressful when they are an almost nonexistent thing on your area.
I could cut the guest list in half, and cut the family members my fiance doesn't know. If I just chose to marry myself.

I didn't want stress or drama.

My family figured I should have drama, trying to get approved by the Catholic church was not only stressful, it was in vain, my FH got sick a WEEK after we got engaged and racked up a bunch of medical bills...

Life happens. Stress happens.

Everyone reacts to it differently, and no one is over here enjoying the stress.

For me it has been enjoyable and stressful. I'm diy-ing as much as possible and then splurging on only a few items. I have 15 months so I still have time. I'm enjoying working with my sister and friends on a few of these projects too.

As for the stress, I'm disabled. A lot of times my chronic pain gets bad and I can't even do day to day things let alone work on wedding things. If I do too much, it causes a flare up. I get stressed that I won't get things completed in time.

I don’t think the actual details are the stressor, it’s life, families and coordinating that can cause the stress! It’s not really as simple as saying “don’t invite your mom because she’s a picky eater” or “I’m not inviting my mom because she’s too opinionated on the transportation”. It’s not impossible to deal with and there’s lots of fun parts but coordinating a party for 100 people (from a different country with our families coming from 3 continents) isn’t completely stress free! Im willing to put up with some stress to have the wedding I want with the people that matter to us.

View Quoted Comment Hon, this whole thread sounds like you just want to toot your own horn about how amazing you are and how you can plan stress free weddings. Yay for you. Don't make other people feel like crap because they get stressed. Go be a wedding planner and help people plan theirs if you enjoy it so much. Life can be stressful. Wedding planning is part of life. Stuff happens. Family dynamics are hard. Finances get tight. Medical stuff comes up. Car crashes happen. There are a thousand reasons why people might get stressed out during the process of planning their wedding. Be a support to people on here rather than chanting, "Stress free! You should be me!"

It's a big event with a lot to do so naturally that could just be something that triggers stress

View Quoted Comment Seeing the multiple posts where people are like me, I'll take that. I AM proud of myself for not making my wedding day a stressful event and not allowing people and life circumstances to do it either.

OP, you ask some real questions! DH and I ask ourselves this whenever I log on here and read some threads. We planned our wedding in 4 months whilst me still grieving the loss of my father, finishing a degree, moving to a new country again and so much more. Our lives are not perfect nor are we. At the same time, we are very happy with how our wedding turned out because we agreed or compromised on everything, it was drama free and we didn't sacrifice our beliefs or any relationships for the sake of the "big day".

Our day was about our love for each other, not having the best venue or dictating who should wear what or look like what or getting into debt for the sake of appearances. I'm with you OP, I've considered people have tricky relationships and situations but I still don't get it.

View Quoted Comment Only you can let yourself feel like crap. You're asking for OP to be a support yet you've offered a ridiculous response that OP should be a "wedding planner if she likes it so much". Haha... right. If she can plan her own, drama-free stress-free wedding, that should be celebrated. I think it's a breath of fresh air here.

I'm torn about this because on one hand, I agree and think that sometimes people stress a lot about little details such as charger plates but then I think about how it's Their wedding and what They want it to be so who cares? I also agree with previous posters about how unexpected life situations happen and not everyone's family gets along. I think the main reason for this website is to find people who are excited for their wedding but also need support sometimes..

View Quoted Comment It's literally not a contest about who can be the least stress free..

I think this is a lesson in empathy. As an 8th grade teacher I always tell my kids that at every point in the year there will be something you find easy and something you find very difficult. The chances that what you find easy/ difficult is the exact same as the people around you is very small. And when you find something difficult, what makes you feel absolutely terrible? When someone else is shouting " this is so easy! How could anyone not get it?" Everyone deals with different situations in different ways? It is not our place to judge others who struggle differently than ourselves, but to help and support them. Yes, there are choices people could make to make wedding planning less stressful, but there are always extenuating circumstances.

All ill say is that you are lucky that you dont stess over the little things let alone the bigger decisions. Everyone has different situations and different ways of handling them. I have trouble committing to a decision as well as anxiety so these two things make every step difficult, aside from saying yes to my best friend of course. Im also a perfectionist, like seriously ive been working on the same invitations for weeks to make sure they are perfect!

View Quoted Comment

ETA I don't understand this.

View Quoted Comment You said that you didn't let the events in your life stress you out while wedding planning so I have no idea where the "it's ok for some people to share their stress but not me?" came from

The only thing I find difficult is finding the right place for a reception. Pretty much to get the best "bang for our buck" I'm not into big weddings and spending 30k lol so it's taking way more unorganized research than I anticipated lol!

View Quoted Comment

I have an anxiety disorder too. My social anxiety is crazy. I have never been comfortable calling people (to ask questions, book appointments, etc) I don't call people. Either he does or I email. I'm well aware that people are different which is why I started the thread. I am trying to comprehend why so many people think it is stressful. (I'm also an Emotional Support teacher and practice and preach Mindset and the effect your thoughts and beliefs have on your behavior). So the psychology is fascinating to me.

View Quoted Comment I don't think I understood your original comment at all.

View Quoted Comment

I'm sorry about the sickness in your planning. I lost my grandma a few months ago. She's the only person in my family that I was actually close to.

View Quoted Comment

My family is opinionated...but I have no issue saying no. My family is concerned with "what will people think?" and I never have been.