I don't think I want a wedding anymore

At the end of the day the wedding is about you and FH. DO NOT let your MIL steal your happiness. She shouldn't have that ability. You cannot let a third party have that much control over your life, your happiness. You're doing this for yourself, for FH, and your relationship. If you let her have this, you are setting a precedent that she will take advantage of for the rest of her days.

Yes, it's sad and unfortunate, but it's not about her.

I couldn't agree more with paris. This is unfortunately what happens when people offer to pay for things. They want/NEED control over it since they're putting in their two cents literally, and if they don't get control then they explode. I know it might not be exciting for you anymore, and that's sad.. but talk to your FH about it, because like Paris said, at the end of th day it's about you and your FH. See what you both want to do and maybe compromise? If this is going to become a huge family issue, its better to squash it some way than let it grow and become a huge void in between you guys. I personally think FH needs to straighten his mother out. It's unfair that you have to go through this because of his mother. Good luck.

I agree with Paris!

Idk what to do. He cannot straighten her out. No one can not even her own husband. She's stuck in her ways. Idk if it would cause a big family issue but she is giving her side of the story to his family and what I do not want is to be at my wedding feeling shitty because his family is thinking we are assholes because his mother is not there. Sorry for my language. If I try to compromise she will not be happy because she does no such thing. My bro n sis in law had absolutely no say or partake in their wedding. She didn't allow them. The bride felt like a guest at her own wedding. That is sad! And I will not put myself thru that. We are already married but this celebration is becoming a nightmare. I don't think not having the wedding would be a big deal except for the fact that I will not walk down the aisle in my dress in front of my friends n fam.

How do you know his family will judge you. They know what she's like. Your SIL said she felt like a guest at her own wedding. I'm thinking you're being harder on yourself than anyone else will be. They know what she's like.

I had a real fun MIL long ago and far away. We let her live in her own bubble of miserable-ness. When she asked us what flavor out cake was and my ex told her white with raspberry filling, she freaked because she doesn't like white. She actually told us to call the baker and change it. He told her no, sorry and wouldn't you know she had a piece at the wedding. I saw her walking around eating it.

Some people just need the drama. Don't feed into it.

Truthfully I think you have been really nice about the whole thing... possibly too nice. Do no cave to her!! I know it is easier said than done but with a MIL if you cave you set the tone for the rest of your relationship with her.

Seriously I would go and talk to her in person, not by text, phone or email and lay down the law. She won't like it, she will be angry, but she needs to know what you actually think of her behavior. She is acting like a child. I would probably bring up that talking behind your back with the rest of the family is manipulative and you refuse to be manipulated or something around those lines. People's family's are seriously ridiculous. I would also call your SIL and tell her next time your MIL starts to complain about you she needs to cut her off and say this is between her and you guys and she doesn't want to be in the middle. That's how I deal with my family and after a few rough starts here and there it has finally started to catch on, so much better!

Agreed with CeCe. Go talk to her in person with FH. And agree with the fact that CeCe said about telling your SIL that she shouldn't be involved or in the middle. That's sad that people families are like this. Please don't let her change your plans. Just talk to her in person. If anyone has anything else bad to say from the family, you can always say you went to her, tried to resolve it, but she only wanted her way and that's it.

Totally agree with Nic.Dee

Marlina, I am so sorry to hear this. I agree that you need you to have a sit down with her, no matter if she wants to or not. This is YOUR big day and noone should make you feel this way!

Aww Marlina. I agree with everyone here. This woman is a nightmare and only wants to cause drama for everyone. You give her an inch, she'll take the whole damn state. I kinda say talk to her face to face, but if this woman is the way you describe, no amount of talking will ever get through her thick skull. But at least you can say to yourself you tried. Additionally, I would imagine the entire family knows what kind of woman she is. Don't you dare let her sway you! You will have a BEAUTIFUL wedding and sucks to be her for being such a damn Maleficent!

If you cave in and let her have her way with Your wedding, what else will she try to control in your lives after you are married? I'd show up on her doorstep (FH in tow) and tell her straight out that while you value her opinion, it is your wedding and your decision as to what will and will not happen. And maybe bring up that you do not appreciate her talking behind your backs to family members. And I hate to say this but it seems like no matter what you do, she will end up being pissed off and cause more drama before she gets over herself. Hopefully she will let it go and play nice.

I'm sorry for all this. I really hope it works out. Don't you dare let her steal your sunshine, you are always so positive!! <3

Thank you all for your advice. It really means a lot. I cant shake this blah feeling that has come over me. But you are all right. I think that I will try to talk to her face to face. I don't even know why she is upset!!! I never told her NO on anything she suggested or the people she wanted to invite. All I said was we had to wait. Any way, if she does not allow me to clear that for her, or if she continues to dig her heels in the mud then I will completely give up and I think from that point I will never try to reach out to her again. I don't like making me unhappy but I definitely can not deal with people who do not like to fix problems and move on. I just cant.

Marlina, I think you just have to let her know that you're willing to hear her ideas, and remind her (nicely) that you never turned down her ideas. If she doesn't want to hear what you and FH have to say, then move on. It's not worth you getting upset over.

I completely understand. Once I get disappointed, it is really hard to get re excited about what I was excited about. I don't have much advice, but to try to maybe take a break and come back and remember the little moments that made you giddy before (seeing FH once all dressed up, being pronounced husband and wife). I am so so sorry this is happening. Hugs!

I'm so sorry for all this mess you are going through. It's really sad that she won't listen to her own son or husband. I think talking to her face to face is a good place to start. I wish you the best of luck!!