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Sally
Dedicated September 2010

I do not want to register anywhere

Sally, on June 13, 2010 at 10:47 PM Posted in Planning 0 27

Maybe I'm weird, and I know I am, but I don't want to register anywhere. I do not care if someone gives us a card, a package of socks, money, nothing, or something they made, or 3 toasters. I just want people to give what they feel. I feel tacky writing out a list, even though some say it's easier on the guests. I don't give people a list on Christmas of what I want. I actually make gifts for people because I really do think it's the thought that counts. So, anyway, for me, I don't want to register. We are only inviting our closest friends and family, and they know us well enough so that finding a gift won't be stab in the dark. Anyone else NOT registering anywhere? And, by the way, I think it is totally fine that the whole rest of the world registers. I do not pass judgement on that. We are all different. I am just trying to do what feels like "me," rather than conforming, but it's scary sometimes to be different!

27 Comments

Latest activity by Sara, on June 17, 2010 at 3:16 AM
  • mandyblank2
    Super May 2010
    mandyblank2 ·
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    I feel the same way but I did a registry anyways because I had people bugging me about what I wanted because they wanted to get me something but didn't know what. Only hthe people that came tomy shower bought from it anyways, otherwise I got lots of cards, money,and a great new satellite radio.

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  • D
    Just Said Yes July 2010
    Dustin ·
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    I feel your pain. We didn't want to register either, as we're young adults that are already living together, own a house, and already have everything we "need".

    That said, we conformed, then just crossed our fingers and hoped people would just give us cash (as apparently having a wedding/reception for 240 people costs a lot of money). We listed some pretty obscure stuff on our amazon registry.

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  • Cabell
    Master May 2010
    Cabell ·
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    If you don't want to register, don't. We did, after someone asked us where we were registering, and I like having the registry, but I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't wanted to. :-)

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  • Future Mrs. P
    Super October 2010
    Future Mrs. P ·
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    I felt the same way. I didn't really care to have a shower and ended up registering for the sake of saving from people asking. Now my bridesmaids have gotten together and are throwing us a shower since I bought the wedding party their outfits. I figure if they want to I'll go along with it. I am excited to just have a fun cookout with family and friends.

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  • Barbara
    Expert August 2011
    Barbara ·
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    Sally, im so with you, my FH and I have both been married before... we dont NEED anything... i thought about the honeymoon registry but i didnt really like that either (I tried it, but it was a pain. and gave up). so what ever we get will be fine...

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  • Sally
    Dedicated September 2010
    Sally ·
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    Oh, that makes me feel better that I'm not so alone in this kind of thinking. So, I guess we will be bold and just not register!

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  • Sharon
    Master June 2010
    Sharon ·
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    I didn't register - my registry page on our website says all we need are your best wishes Smiley smile

    we did get some gifts, but no one really bugged us because chose nit to have one

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  • Jass
    Master September 2012
    Jass ·
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    Yeah we haven't registered either. Now sure how we will feel about it down the line. We live together, and have most of the things we want, and need.

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  • Dianne
    VIP August 2011
    Dianne ·
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    I registered a few things at several stores, I don't expect anything, and I am not telling anyone unless they ask, I have like 4 things on each registry at Williams Sonoma, Pottery Barn, just in case, I put good china on Macys (even though I know I will be inheriting my mom's china, crystal and silver someday) and everyday inexpensive things on Penneys (placemats, runners, table cloth, very inexpensive glassware) I am 50 yrs old, and don't really need anything, these are "wish I could get these" things, like silver candle sticks, pretty vases, and a great but inexpensive set of pots (I was a chef and I have never had a really good set of pots!)

    I have kids who break stuff, so most of what I am registering for is "good stuff" vs. everyday stuff. As I said, I don't expect anything, but one of my friends already asked and my wedding is next May!

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  • ERH
    Master October 2010
    ERH ·
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    I totally understand where you're coming from! When I've gone to weddings of close friends, I've never gotten things off the registry. For one friend, who hadn't lived with FH before getting married, I made her a basket of gourmet popcorn, movies, massage oils, etc for a romantic night in. Though maybe you could register for just a few things to make the more traditional people feel a little more comfortable. I kinda didn't want to register either, but I realized that people are going to get us gifts anyway, so they might as well spend their money on things we actually want rather than somehting that will just sit in a closet.

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  • Amy "Been here too long" W.
    VIP November 2011
    Amy "Been here too long" W. ·
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    I don't want to register either. I have owned a home since I was 28 and FH and I have lived together for almost 3 years. We have all we need or want. That said I am going to register for a few things at BB&B. I don't want guests to think since there is no registry that I expect them to give me cash. I don't expect to make back what I paid for the wedding. If I didn't want to spend the money I wouldn't.

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  • Justine
    Master August 2011
    Justine ·
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    FS and I have lived together for 5 years, so we honestly have most of what we really need. We are doing a registry to make things easier for the family and to have an opportunity to get things that we would like to have but haven't been able to justify spending the money on. We've only been out of college for two years, so we don't have all the frilly kitchen appliances that we would like, though we do just fine with out them.

    But I can totally understand not wanting a registry. If our guest list consisted solely of close friends and close family we probably wouldn't either, but there is quite a large amount of extended family that we are obligated to invite, which makes it more necessary.

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  • RavenK
    Super September 2014
    RavenK ·
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    We're not registering anywhere either, and I haven't had a single person ask us about it either. Smiley smile Guess it just depends on what type of family and friends you have. His Grandmother asked me what the colors in our home were but I think that was b/c she wants to get us a housewarming gift not a wedding gift.

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  • Sally
    Dedicated September 2010
    Sally ·
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    RavenK, that's interesting that you have not been asked about it. I have noticed that the people that are asking are the people that I am not in daily contact with, and so that makes sense that they would not feel they know me well enough to just shop for their own pleasure of giving as well as for what we might like. Also, Starlight, I have a princess ring similar to yours! Except mine is "oriented" on its side. Beautiful yours is!

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  • RavenK
    Super September 2014
    RavenK ·
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    I think our families are just used to much more casual weddings so the idea of registering is not the norm. We always just buy a nice card and slip a lil something inside Smiley smile

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  • PortlandBride
    VIP June 2011
    PortlandBride ·
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    I am struggling with registering too, but I know that there's people who don't know FS and I very well, but will want to get us something. (mainly his family back East, who haven't seen him in about 10 years - lol). So I am doing it for them, although I have no idea what we'll put on it. I am hoping I can find a local place that does online registries so that I can at least support local business, but I haven't found one yet. I have a year to look though so not too concerned.

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  • Denise livin on 5
    VIP June 2010
    Denise livin on 5 ·
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    FH and I are in our mid 30's.... combined 2 homes. We are in need of nothing! We did not register.

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  • cantwaittobemrs
    Super September 2010
    cantwaittobemrs ·
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    Its not tacky at all --- your actually doing them a favor. People want the ease of selecting a gift from a list. Put some towels, sheets, pillows on it. ( you can never have to many of those!) Or ask for donations to be made to a charity instead.

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  • The O-fficial MrsJoseph!
    Master September 2010
    The O-fficial MrsJoseph! ·
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    We did register. I don't expect anything out of it, but still. We do live together but don't own a home - we have mostly stuff left over from college and random pcs purchsed here and there.

    The MAIN reason we registered is that anything not bought off your registry (at Macy's at least) you can buy later at a discount! THAT I love! I figure that if we do find a house before or right after we marry, we can buy the stuff we like at Macy's AND get a discount :-)

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  • dai69
    VIP July 2011
    dai69 ·
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    We're not digging the registry mess either. However, since you don't want people to take this as a sign that your asking for cash we will register at low grade places like Target & Bed, Bath & Beyond. We don't need anything after 10 years together and 4 living together so we will just upgrade what we have.

    We really just want guest to attend especially since we are have an out of town wedding. This would be present enough.

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