i cannot believe i am still having this conversation with my parents!!!!!

You must have really social parents...Lol...mine could care less...other than my Dad asking me to invite his 2 friends...a couple they "do trips" with. Take it in stride...this should be an Enjoyable experience.....just try to talk maturely with them after you have vented and it may help them Understand where you are coming from. It is "your day"..not theirs...maybe you need to remind them of that.

View Quoted Comment Yes!! It's going to be an amazing day!

View Quoted Comment They are social butterflies! Haha. And they are fun. Now that all of us kids moved out. They are going to rock concerts, long motorcycle trips, and vacations. They definitely deserve it but yes they have so many friends

View Quoted Comment Thank you! Yes. We talked this morning. And they understand where I am coming from.

View Quoted Comment I’m so sorry for your loss, and what you’re going through. Your post also helps put things into perspective ❤️

View Quoted Comment I actually disagree with both of you. I really don’t understand how sharing something emotional in your life related to parents, in a thread venting about parents is rude. Yes, it would be incredibly rude to tell someone “at least my parent is alive”, but it is in no way rude to share an experience to help someone see the other side of an issue.

I’m getting married next month on June 15th as well congratulations on the date.. my opinion is just say no stick to your budget explain to them that you can’t afford to add more people that it’s getting to be to expensive.. if they don’t get it just avoid the conversation when asked bring the subject elsewhere hope this helps

View Quoted Comment Ty so much ! 😘

View Quoted Comment I work wedding and meet with clients. I now have a daughter getting married. She is doing a destination wedding. We are paying for 95 percent of her wedding. I am still not allowed to invite some of our family friends unless I was the budget to sky rocket. I know there will be hurt feelings. There Is one friend i really want to invite but her husband is obnoxious and drinks way too much and when he does it gets bad. I feel sorry for her but I cant have him making a scene. With that said, if youbare paying and not your parents, you have every right to designate who is on that list. Even if your numbers drop, that doesnt mean add more people unless it is your choice! You need to get them an etiquette book for wedding. There is a page on proper ediquitte when the bride and groom are paying and parents that want to invite their friends. A big no! I would say close family friends. If you dont know them, they don't belong there. Period!

My mother has a similar problem with my grandmother (her MIL) when she was planning her wedding. So I'm lucky because she knows not to, and how stressful it is. And cant get mad. But it also helped me head off the grandma invite train. I told her she gets 10 people. (And to be fair, I already added some of them to the list, so she could have more than that, but i was super firm super early.)

View Quoted Comment Hi Anna:

I’m sorry to read (hear) about your Mom.

My Mom left me 3 days before Mother’s Day in 2017.

Do you have some type of plan to “include” your Mom in your event?

I made sure to invite some of her friends (they will all be at one table), 1st Cousins, along with people that she grew up with (on the same street) that my family is close with.

I will also be using items that I purchased with her before she got sick.

So, she will be all around the room.

Im just not sure how to control my emotions on that day.

Happy planning, Wedding, and enjoy your day!

I feeeeeeel you. Like my venue has a maximum number that I have pretty much already exceeded. “Well we have to invite them!” Noooo we could have invited them months ago! There’s nothing I can do!!!!!!!!

View Quoted Comment Awww I'm so sorry for loss. Yes, I will definitely have several things to honor my mama at the wedding.


I'm probably going to have a chair with flowers and a memorial table. It's really hard as you know shopping and planning without her.

She owned a Florist for 40 years , we were co-owners for 8 years and of course I miss out on her creative ideas that we had planned for my wedding. The hardest part is doing the flowers without her.

I'm so glad you will have her things and her close friends to surround you with love. They can help you keep her memory alive. As you know, it's hard to explain how the loss of a parent changes you and life forever, but somehow we all must go on without them.

As far as the emotions, I'm sure they will all rise to the surface on that day.
We have another thing in common...Mother's day has a double dose of emotions. You lost your Mom near Mother's day, and my Mama's birthday falls on mother's day this year.

Yesterday, a classmate of hers sent me some of her pictures...I cried for thirty minutes...but, I felt her presence and that helped

Thank you so much for reaching out to me! It really meant so much! More than you can ever know!
I hope your wedding is as wonderful as you are ❤

Hugs to you. I will include you in my prayers this week. I know it will be hard on you.

Thank you so much for your kindness! I will check in with you again.

I can never understand the audacity of forcing new people into the wedding. No matter how much it matters to them, actually going around the couple is so disrespectful.

I had to tell my mother several times 'no.' Or preempt the conversation by reminding her of our line. Early in the process I told her, "I'm only giving you these two. No one else is getting extra people, and I'm not budging on anyone else." She got it... continued to sulk the entire time, but she at least didn't invite anyone else! At least I knew where she was coming from (never got her big catholic wedding and both her daughters went a more 'courthouse' style), but I was not giving her pushiness the time of day.

My mom has literally been driving me insane. She has invited some of her work friends, under the agreement that she pays for them. But in general, it feels like her soul purpose has been to stress me out and annoy me about everything and then when I snap...I'm a bridezilla. I feel your pain girl.

View Quoted Comment I said I would give anything to be in her shoes and to have my parents to argue with and its the truth. I never said " at least you have one"

Sometimes in life we have to step back and look at the bigger picture.
I never said anything negative about the post, you chose to read into that. She is definitely entitled to her feelings of anger and frustration. I had my share of disagreements with my parents.

I promise you when you lose a parent, each and every argument you ever had with them will be obsolete.

As far as I know, a forum inclues all views and perspectives I just gave mine. 🤷

My mother in law is doing the same thing. Every few weeks we get "oh you should invite so and so.." It's all very frustrating. It's a special day and I want to share it with the people I feel should be there.

Luckily we were pretty up front about all of this when we got engaged. We were firm on the no kids and the more we got into planning, it was only family and close friends invited... and I even cut out my dad’s sister and my cousins cause I’m not close with them and I’d rather have people there who matter in my life. My parents didn’t push and were on my side. Even some of their friends tried to fish for invites and my mom told them no. My fiancé’s parents were ok with the no friends and extended family, but his mom wants to invite an elderly aunt from Italy that she says won’t come. He told her if she sends the invite and she happens to come, that his mom needs to figure out where she sits and take care of her the entire time. This is where I let my ‘bridezilla’ flag fly lol

Stand your ground! Girl, tattoo that big ass NO on your forehead if ya have to!

Come on you got this!!!!!!!

\