i cannot believe i am still having this conversation with my parents!!!!!

View Quoted Comment This is me every time I see people complaining about their FMIL. My FHs dad died in an accident 10 years ago, and his mom died from breast cancer during our first year together. All he really has is a brother. I'd give anything to have them at the wedding, and to have grandparents for any possible children we might have

View Quoted Comment I did. I told them this morning. If they want more people they have to pay for them to eat and they told me that wouldn't be able to. So I said that's fine. I'm not adding more people to my list.

View Quoted Comment So I'm a bad guy for not bending over backwards for my parents ridiculous demands when they wont help pay for things? I don't know half of the people they have mentioned to invite. So that seems a little ridiculous for me to have strangers at MY WEDDING! THAT I AM PAYING FOR WITH MY FH.

View Quoted Comment Not at all, I was talking about inlaws and how I'm jealous when people post about issues with them, since I don't have any 🙁

View Quoted Comment Yes. It puts every thing into perspective. All petty arguments will seem like nothing once they are gone.
I say be grateful that you have your parents to disagree with and to frustrate you.
But, no one is promised tomorrow. Once they are gone things like this are insignificant. I understand they are frustrating at the time, but it could be much worse on so many levels.
I'm so sorry for your fiancee that's a huge loss for him and his brother to bear.
Just know, they will be with you at the wedding and will see and watch over your children❤

I understand the frustration and I'm not as far along in the planning yet. But the other day something came up when I was talking to my mom. She said she was talking to one of my cousins (who I will invite to the wedding), the cousin said her daughter-in-law asked when my wedding is and she can't wait to go. I had no plans to put the daughter-in-law on the guest list. I hadn't even seen or spoken to her in years (I can't even recall the last time). But my mom seemed shocked/appalled when I said that person wasn't on my guest list. I've told her several times that the extended family that's on the list includes my grown nieces, all my aunts and uncles, and that one cousin who's practically like an aunt. I don't feel like going down a slippery slope of which cousins (and sort-of like family members) to invite, because I haven't spoken or seen any of them in years and I've honestly never really was close to any of them. Also, they would want to bring their spouses and kids and the guest list would grow exponentially. Plus I have a feeling they'd be really flaky in deciding whether or not they're coming, because the wedding is in January, on a Thursday, several states away from all of them.

To Anna and Katie in this discussion - please pick your battles. Please try not to go into a forum conversation where someone is venting about a situation with a family member and reply with "at least you have one." Just like it would be rude of me to go into a forum conversation about remembering a loss loved one with "at least my loved ones will be at my wedding," it's also rude in the reverse.

That is so frustrating! Sorry you’re dealing with that. We are too, solely from step-FMIL and we haven’t even done our STDs. 😫

Ugh, same thing with FMIL (and we love with her!) she has this notion that because she’s paying for the DJ ($1100) that she can invite all of her friends and the extended family members. (By extended I mean: FH’s grandma’s sister’s cousins that live in Europe! There’s NINE of them) . I’m okay with inviting two of them as they come down frequently and i’m Okay with inviting two of her friends and their spouses. But there’s two couples that my FH doesn’t even like and another couple that she wants to invite b/c she was invited to their child’s wedding. Okay, they paid for their child’s wedding though! If all of these people come that is an extra 17 people= $1700

View Quoted Comment Right !!! I am so excited 🙈🙈 I have like a few things left but I’m just patiently (not really) waiting to marry my best friend ❤️🙈 how is it going for you?! How are the RSVP’s coming along 😂

View Quoted Comment Good for you! I’m glad you were able to be firm.

View Quoted Comment Exactly! Some of the people live in Arizona and Florida. We are getting married in Wisconsin. So it's a long distance. I dont see the importance of them being there. But i have talked to my parents about it and they wont be bringing it up anymore. Since they do not want to chip in the money to pay for these people to eat

View Quoted Comment I know!!! I'm dying for the day to get here! Right now it's just paying off some things that we have left. And finishing up all ofthe diy stuff! The RSVPs were coming in slowly. Last week though seemed to be a lot more. We were getting multiple RSVPs all week. So that was exciting! Haha

View Quoted Comment Yikes!!! I'm sorry you are dealing with this hun. It's hard! I love my parents so much. So it's been hard just saying no. So I thought I did a good thing and compromise with them and let them invite a handful of friends. But they understand after I had talked to them today.

View Quoted Comment It is. And it's hard for me to talk to them about certain things. Just because I do not want to come off like i am disrespecting them. Ugh! That's rough.. my parents did the same thing after we were engaged too.. they are too excited!

View Quoted Comment It's okay. I'm sure there will be more bumps in the road before the wedding. It's just hard! They seem to understand since we all talked earlier today.

Yes, totally understand! I just went through the same thing. Today is the last day for anyone on our guest list to RSVP. We told everyone that the venue we chose has a maximum occupancy of 100. Anyone that doesn't RSVP by the deadline doesn't respect you and your partner's time. They need to respect you; it is your wedding and you and your partner ultimately get to make the decision on where to draw the line.

Just be firm and respectful. For me, I invited more than 100 people but expected a few to decline. Size and occupancy limits of a venue is not a variable that can change so I used that to justify the number of people allowed on my list. Only the people that are closest to you and your partner should be there.

It is your day! Let it be meaningful and memorable. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment This! It's so out-of-place.

View Quoted Comment Yayyy!!! I’m happy for us 💕💁🏽‍♀️😊

If your parents want to invite extr people it’s only fair that they pay.