i cannot believe i am still having this conversation with my parents!!!!!

I most definitely am going through this. My wedding isn’t until September but literally every time I go to my parents house they ask to add people. They aren’t helping us pay for anything. I already added a good 10 people for them (that I see maybe once a year). I literally have been trying to avoid going to my parents house lol. I’ve seen a lot of posts about this so I think it’s pretty common. I would advise you just keep saying no specially since your wedding is next month! Good luck!!

View Quoted Comment I haven't gone to my mom and dads in about 3 weeks because it has drove me nuts! They were going help pay but things came up and they just couldn't afford to. But yes I have said no. Today my FH stepped in and just said we are at the max..

My wedding is 1 week from today. Only on Thursday did we find out that my FH's aunt from out-of-state will apparently be attending our wedding (we never sent an invite because for certain reasons of why she couldn't attend). Apparently his mom has been in contact with her (her sister) and invited her, but only then did we find out about it. No word or anything prior and may not have been had FH not talked to his dad that way. I was livid. Not the fact that she was coming, because he did want her to be there, but that NO ONE thought to let us know, especially me since I'm planning this whole thing on my own. FH does help with certain things, to be fair. I just felt disrespected and had already mapped out tables and chairs and had it all fitting perfectly. He said he would be having a talk with his parents about respect and when they do things like that it can cause problems between him and I. I guess I was extra upset because they have tried this all along the planning process, including the day after our engagement.

Honestly, I'd give anything to be in your shoes...I lost my mama two years ago in August, and my Daddy has dementia.

If I could have them both back.... I'd invite anyone they wanted me to❤👰

View Quoted Comment I have invited enough for them. They do not need to keep doing this. I understand where you are coming from but when it's people that do not even care about me or FH. It's not important for them to be there

View Quoted Comment I would be upset to.. why do people get so weird with weddings! I know my parents are happy that my FH and I are getting married. But we cant afford to invite all the people both of our parents have ever met..

It’s a lot of money. If they want to invite more, tell them it’s $100 per extra person. (Food, drinks, seating, favors, invitations, etc). If they want to cover the cost they can do it. Just 5 extra people = $500! 10 extra = $1000!

View Quoted Comment I know exactly what you mean. The night we got engaged, FH's parents were hosting a holiday party for their friends. We called to let them know we were engaged. The next morning when we talked to them, his mom has invited everyone at that party to our wedding (one that hadn't even been set or anything). We found out and luckily FH told her NO. She said "but I already invited them" and he said "well then you're going to have to call and tell them you were wrong". And she got mad. Another time she asked him to invite an older man that worked at the same grocery store as FH way back in HS and FH didn't even know the guy. When FH told her no, she got mad. I don't understand entitlement sometimes, it drives me nuts. Haha

View Quoted Comment I will! That's the only it will stop coming up!

This happened to me in the beginning stages of preparing the guest list. I let my mom know from the beginning anyone you add after we reach our number you will have to pay for. She hasn’t mentioned anyone else since lol.

View Quoted Comment Omg!!! My mom did the same thing but with her work friends. She said I personally invited. I told her that she would have to tell them it was a mistake. I dont know the people she works with.. its just insane..

View Quoted Comment That's awesome! Haha I'm definitely going to bring that comment up when they bring it up again. I just want to put more focus on other parts of the wedding

I’m sorry this is happening to you on the plus side, we’re date twins 💕

View Quoted Comment Its okay. I honestly try to laugh it off. Date twins!!! How is wedding planning going. I cannot believe how quickly things are going by!

I had a slightly different issue but similar. I have a family member that was very disrespectful to my mother and said some very inappropriate things about her. I was done with them at this point and I haven't seen them for years. My mother forced me to invite them to the wedding stating it was rude not invite them. We are paying for our own wedding and have limited space. I had to take someone off the guest list that I really wanted there in order to make room for this person. I feel your pain with the struggle with parents and the guest list. I hope you are able to get it addressed so no other people are invited without your knowledge.

When my mom started asking to add more and more people, I told her, "You can invite who you want, but you have to pay for their food". It helped curb it to just the people she really really wanted and I still don't have to pay for her friends. However, I have more time until my wedding for her to make her final cuts, your mom is pushing it for you to get the numbers to your vendors & that is definitely a struggle. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that

View Quoted Comment It's so hard. But I definitely am standing my ground on and we are not adding anymore people. We have plenty of people coming. I just think they get to wrapped in the excitement of the wedding and just go a little crazy with it.

View Quoted Comment It's very frustrating. And I'm sorry for you as well. I just have to think of a way to talk to my parents that wont come off rude. So I am taking my time with that. I know they want me to be happy about the wedding day and they are excited for me but they need to chill out and be realistic.

My dad’s childhood friend asked if he could bring a date... two weeks before the wedding. Nope, bye.

Just tell them the caterer has a hard deadline for final guest count by end of May. Even if that isn’t true. It sounds like you are paying for catering, so you should not be expected to pay for people you don’t necessarily want to come! Maybe another way to do this is to ask your parents to help pay for their friends, see what they say? That might make them consider who they want to invite.

I am so sorry to hear this.