How to tell guests what is acceptable to wear to the wedding....

Semi formal is not black tie. Samantha, I'm worried for you.

No you don't request that they dress like they are going to a black tie event if you're not actually having a black tie event.

Samantha, have you ever watched "Say Yes to the Dress"? If you have, you realize that $2K doesn't get much of a rise out of the Kleinfeld's consultant. Know why? Because $2K at Kleinfelds isn't the fireworks you seem to believe it is (and let's face it -- plenty of black tie brides shop at Kleinfelds).

I attended a family wedding ten days ago -- and the bride was a Kleinfelds bride. I guaran-damn-tee you, her gown topped $2K. They missed ONE extra that precluded them from calling it a black tie affair. One. We were greeted with valet parking, cloak check, silver trays being passed that featured champagne and three different wines, top shelf open from the beginning to the end, a $14K (that's a professional guestimate) floral budget, too many entree choices (ordered tableside), etc., etc., etc. I have no doubt that the PP cost was over $230. They didn't call their wedding, which obviously required evening gowns and full dress suits, a black tie event.

So...quick...you have one minute to phonetically spell "sommelier". If you are truly hosting a black tie event, that should be easy. I'm aware of the fact that you can look it up, lol.

Heh that's the thing, no you can't. This bit needs a bit more drilling in. Or rather, to break it down for you, you can, but it's wrong af. We know you don't give two shits about etiquette, you're practically holding a sign over your head, so you're just going to do whatever your princess heart wants. It's your day, go nuts! Just don't let actual facts get in the way of your "vision", which, frankly, does seem a little confused at the moment as you don't even know the difference between black tie and semi formal.

Wait - does Samantha think a black tie event is a dude wearing a black tie? LOL

Samantha, can you describe exactly what you expect your guests to wear at your wedding?

Newsflash: There is a book.

@Scrib: Yes, it IS rude, actually. If you don't know how to dress appropriately for a wedding, and you're over the age of 25, then there's something wrong. Most people at LEAST know not to wear "jeans and flip flops."

If you're seriously in doubt, you could always Google safe things to wear to a wedding.

Oh wait, that would require logic...

Samantha I would love to hear a bit more about your event if you don't mind.

Is your wedding on a Sunday? What type of food are you having? How many courses? What type of alcohol? What type of venue? What time is your event?

@Samantha: Actually, there is a book.

Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062326104/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_tai_EgW6xbABYD4RN

What was that about feeling stupid? Someone probably should by now...

Oh, Samantha...it's clear. You're having your own version of a black tie wedding. You're kind of cruel. If you add that addendum to your ivory/white inscribed with black invitation (if have any embellishments on your "black tie" invitation, you aren't having a black tie wedding), you're telling your guests that they need to wear evening gowns and tuxedos to your budget wedding (black tie brides aren't worried about the budget).

Oops, you blew it, Samantha. I just looked up your wedding date. You're getting married on SUNDAY, February 26, 2017. You are not a black tie bride after all, and you're not hosting a black tie wedding. In order to qualify (buzzzzz...you don't qualify), the wedding must take place after dark in the winter, or after 6:00 PM on a SATURDAY evening. You took the discount day of Sunday, so, no go.

Yeah, you can't tell adults what to wear. I'd be pretty put-off.

"If you add that addendum to your ivory/white inscribed with black invitation (if have any embellishments on your "black tie" invitation, you aren't having a black tie wedding), you're telling your guests that they need to wear evening gowns and tuxedos to your budget wedding (black tie brides aren't worried about the budget)."

I had no idea about this. Interesting. So if you have any trim or anything, it's not considered in-line with black-tie etiquette? Not that I'm having a black tie wedding either way, I'm just interested. LOL

Elizabeth, yes the criteria for black tie are very specific and not open to interpretation. It's an uphill battle trying to explain to the etiquette-challenged.

Yup, I knew about the other criteria. I just didn't realize that you can't have embellishments on the invite. Learn something new every day.