How to tell guests what is acceptable to wear to the wedding....

Sometimes the invitation style is helpful in getting across the style of wedding you're putting together and can set the tone for your wedding. If you want people to know it's going to be semi-formal then the invite should be designed as such. If you haven't already sent invites, that might be the way to reflect the type of wedding style you're going for, without literally saying it (which I agree is a no). In other words I wouldn't do kraft paper and twine, or anything too trendy or out of the box, for example. People who just don't get that it should be a dress up occasion might still not get the hint, but I don't think it will hurt.

Im having that issue. One of my guests said she is wearing jeans. I cant control it but i think its tacky

No matter what you tell them they will come dressed the way they want. You just have to accept it and move forward.

I agree that wearing causal attire (jeans or whatever) is sooooo freaking tacky. Like cringe worthy. But, one, anyone that would do that is not going to get the hint as far as the formality of the invite. And, two, would wear them regardless of if you were rude enough to specify "formal" or whatever on the invites. Someone who wears jeans doesn't get it and won't get it, period. Or they wouldn't consider jeans as an option in the first place. If they ask, by all means, advise them on the dress code. But otherwise, just accept them as they are. Jeans aren't going to ruin the fun.

We have a similar problem - my Texan fiance has promised me that 'semi-formal' where he grew up means "wear the good jeans, and a shirt without holes in it". I'm concerned that guests who arrive in that attire will feel uncomfortable at our country-club wedding with my East Coast family, who are more cocktail-dressy at weddings.

If anyone ever bothers to read our website FAQ (conversations suggest almost nobody has), the first entry says:

"What's the dress code?

Semi-formal: if your snazzy suit is at the cleaner's, we're sure you'll look great in whatever you wear for Sunday best!

If weather is good, the ceremony will be on grass - stiletto-wearers be warned."

Emily, your cutesy wording does not make it any less rude

Personally, I find "semi-formal" to be confusing. I would cross my fingers that people understand that wedding attire means no jeans (common sense, right?) and try not to be upset if they dress inappropriately.

Emily wasn't rude. It's perfectly fine to add a dress code to a website faq. Putting it on the invitation is rude.

I got an invite that said "wearing blush tones would please the bride" and I thought it was odd lol

@Rebecca: COMPLY?!?!?! This wedding is supposed to be a fun and enjoyable celebration of a new family. If your guests have to "comply" at any point, you're doing this wrong.

I'm very surprised at how may negative comments this post has gotten about even suggesting to guests that it's semi-formal attire. Almost every wedding I've been invited to has said something along those lines. It's not like I telling them to wear specific colors or you absolutely must wear a tie. I do know that they will all dress nice in their own ways.

My issue was similar to what Emilyg mentioned above. My fiance and I come from very different backgrounds. His Montana folks dress jeans causal for literally everything... so for them even a "fancy" wedding warrants jeans and boots. My east coast folks will hands down be dressing cocktail dressy attire for the wedding. I just want to make sure that everyone is on the same page and no one feels out of place or agonizes as to what is acceptable to wear.

LOL at these comments... I had a few cousins show up in jeans and work boots(contractors). Adults are going to do what adults are going to do.

It won't bother you. Word of mouth always helps. I feel. Or just wait for someone to ask.

And the comment would be....

"and"

so what they show up in their nice jeans and shirts with no holes.

how does that make it any less special? if that's their good clothing- let them wear it.

I understand where you're coming from. You just want everyone to look their best. The hint is to put on the invitation that it's semi-formal and hope for the best. Because you can't force ppl to change their style. Hope all goes well.

Putting a suggested attire on the website is helpful for guests, not rude. It's an FAQ, and that answers a question. People will dress how they want in the end, and there's nothing you can do about that, but rather than field a bunch of "What should we wear?" questions individually, put it on the website.

And there is proper wording to put it on the invitation as well; "Formal Reception to Follow", for example.

Yea that's WeddingWire

You can suggest attire, but anything beyond that is rude. Visual aids? LMAO.

If you're not going to actually turn away people at the door for wearing jeans, you put the word out (like on a website, like many of us have done) and hope for the best. That's it.

^^What's Wedding Wire?

I don't think there's anything wrong with dress your best. She just wants everyone to look their best. That doesn't make her snobby.

Do you want them to celebrate with you or do you want them to dress a certain way? If their style embarrasses you to the point that it will ruin your day, then don't invite them. Seriously. I think everyone wants to 'look their best'. You don't need to tell them how.

People who get an invitation to an outdoor bbq know how to dress. People who get invited to a wedding in a venue or a golf club will theoretically know how to dress.

And if they don't??

What difference does it make?