How to tell guests what is acceptable to wear to the wedding....

Oh for crying out loud. Grow the heck up. Just because you say something, doesn't make it true. Jacks is right, if you don't have a band or any other aspect of a traditional Black Tie event, then it is NOT a black tie event. Therefore, you should not put the words "Black Tie" anywhere in relation to your wedding. Not on the invites, not on your website, no where.

Loving the attitude Samantha! Just because you say something is true doesn't make it so.

Black tie entails a specific set of accommodations for the guests, and GUESS WHAT??? THE PRICE OF YOUR DRESS ISN'T ONE OF THEM. BECAUSE IT DOESN'T AFFECT THE GUEST EXPERIECE...

Sheesh.

Samantha - the cost of your dress has nothing to do with if the wedding is black-tie. I have been to many weddings but only 1 black tie wedding. The wedding was very very formal and included plated dinner with waiters in tuxes and white gloves, top shelf alcohol, beautiful food, live band, string quartet at the ceremony, all the men in tuxes and the women in long dresses, more forks, knives and spoons than I knew what to do with (all of which were used).

Unless it's black tie, which is an announcement of the type of service that will be provided, it is really rude to put attire requests in an invitation. It's a huge faux pas. A bigger faux pas is saying black tie when you're not doing a black tie event.

FFS Samantha. Do you just come onto threads to post asinine opposing views for fun or are you really planning to treat your guests so terribly??

But again, just because you "think" it's black tie doesn't make it black tie. Black tie is not an opinion.

Then you'll be doing something really rude and many of your guests will roll their eyes when they get to your event in ball gowns and it's at the local motel.

It's not reasonable to expect your guests to dress up for a black tie event, spending a lot of their money to do so, and then not offer them a black tie event.

Your opinion being different doesn't matter.

OP..please do not tell your guest what to wear they are adults. If they chose to come to a wedding in jeans and a t-shirt then let them, however they will be the ones looking out of place. Believe it or not you can't control EVERY single aspect of your wedding especially when it comes to your guest dress attire.

If you have concerns that your guests will not know how to dress for a wedding, guess what? Telling them a dress code isn't going to help.

People who attend black tie events know how to dress for a wedding. Don't insult your guests, either by telling them something they already know, or by pretentiously attempting to play queen for a day by dictating what others will wear. Neither works.

People told OP that adding FAQ section in her wedding website would be fine so that she can let guests what to expect. You do not have the authority to dictate what someone wears, you aren't paying for their clothes.

What are you gonna do when someone shows up in jeans?

I got lucky. A lot of our guests asked us what to wear. I told them that the groom is wearing nice black jeans, a sports coat, and cowboy boots, wear what you want and be comfortable. The only exception to this was my cousin's husband, who keeps suggesting outlandish and crazy attire and I keep telling him off for it.

Actually, her definition IS the only definition of a black tie event. It's a binary thing. It either is, or isn't. And no, black tie event doesn't mean "wear a black tie".

There is LITERALLY only one definition of a black tie affair. So yes. You need to read up on it.

Here's some good bedtime reading for you...

http://www.townandcountrymag.com/style/fashion-trends/news/a2508/how-to-decode-a-black-tie-invitation/

http://www.blacktieguide.com/Etiquette/Etiquette_Defining_Black_Tie.htm

http://www.brides.com/blogs/aisle-say/2015/03/black-tie-wedding-guest-dress-code-long-gowns.html

http://stylecaster.com/black-tie-formal-wear/

http://www.popsugar.com/fashion/What-Wear-Black-Tie-Wedding-30500479#photo-30500479

Oh, an invitation INSERT!!!!! GREAT! That makes it all just fine! NOT.

Samantha? Black tie is not an opinion, it's an actual thing. It's an actual standard of service. Valets, white glove service, live music.....yep...it's an actual thing.

And it actually is written down. Why don't you google it?

I can request that you wear a Batman cape to my wedding, doesn't make it happen in Gotham....

We don't understand because your logic is flawed.

You don't dictate what anybody wears so you should drop this thought. On your wedding day focus on what you wear and get over it. One thing BAM's here have in common are that the day will fly. People rarely remember what guests wore.

We mention that the venue has a country terrain and ask that shoes be chosen wisely on our website but that's a liability reason as recommended by our venue and our wedding insurance company.

It's not rude to add semi formal. I've always looked for my invite to a wedding to see if the bride had any instructions before finding an outfit. It's your day. You will be looking your best and if you want your guests dressed in their best request just that. When have you ever been asked to an event and not wondered what to wear. This takes the guesswork out of it and your guests will thank you. Otherwise, they will do you the favor of going to Walmart in the jeans and flip flops instead.

Wow, @Samantha, you really have no idea what reality is in that fantasy land of yours, do you?

You realize your guests are going to be talking about how incredibly tacky and rude you were toward them for years to come when they get to your faux black-tie event and, surprise, surprise! It's not *actually* black-tie, but instead, your *interpretation* of black-tie.

Sounds like someone needs to grow up and live in reality, princess. You've been in neverland a bit too long.