How to get guests to attend ceremony AND reception?

I thought the reception was supposed to be a thank you to the guests for attending the ceremony. So yes, I think it's rude for them to only come to the party. However, I don't think there's a way to nicely tell them to go to both and I think it's one of those things you kind of just have to hope that most people will be decent enough to try and go to both and then let it go if some don't.

I would never think of attending only the reception. I don't think there is a way of saying you want people attending the reception, but I think 99% of people would attend both.

I don't think its accurate at all. BUT will say I did miss my friends ceremony (work issue and her location) but she wasn't upset at all. I know for us I don't really see the reception as a thank you, I mean I get the thought behind calling it one. But I see it as a party to celebrate the marriage. A get together so I am okay if someone missed our ceremony especially if they had a reason too. I just care about all of us having a great time.

If you make it hard to get between the two or have a gap (which you shouldn't anyway) then yes some may skip. But your coordinator is way off. Most people expect two locations I there's a church involved. Don't stress about that

That said you can't tell people they have to atten both. Not possible without looking crazy. Thing will be fine!

This is not my experience. Most people go to both. Many people are LATE to the ceremony, but that's another discussion.

And no, you can't specify that.

The only time I have experienced a wedding where it seemed like there were significantly less people at the ceremony and reception was a Friday evening wedding. I assume most people were unable to take the day off or leave work early to be able to make the 4:30 ceremony time.

Another reason this may happen is if someone has a very long gap in between their ceremony and reception. People may choose to just go to one or the other, and the reception usually wins out on that.

Or if you choose ceremony and reception venues that have a significant distance between them.

Doesn't make it any less rude. I'd personally never attend a reception without going to the ceremony, however those are just a couple examples of why it does happen sometimes. In my area though, it's not the norm for "most" guests to skip the ceremony.

This is something that I've been worried about too, many of my family members don't attend ceremonies especially if held at a church, if they don't agree with the religion they don't go. As a safe choice me and FH are not getting married in a church but I still worry they will only go to reception since that is what I'm used to seeing them do. But most of my family do marry in church so I see why but still. I don't think it's something you can know for sure what people plan on doing, but if you have guests(like mine) who have a habit in doing that, maybe you should prepare for it. But I do think it's rude and ridiculous for people to ditch the (what I think) is the most important and beautiful part of a wedding and just show up for free (to them( food and dance.

Maureen, I'm a New Yorker too. I find recently people are really only attending the reception not the ceremony. I have no clue why. That being said I don't think there is any polite way of saying "ceremony mandatory" . I definitely don't expect everyone to be at the ceremony.

Every wedding I have ever been to there was always WAY fewer people at the ceremony than the reception, Which I think is rude as hell. It's like they're saying "we didn't really want to waste our time watching you become husband and wife, but we DO wanna party. Feed us and give us free booze!"

Unfortunately I have first hand experience with this. I have gone to several out of town weddings where there was a large gap between the ceremony and reception. And not like an hour, one wedding we went to had a 5 hour gap! Of course we attended the ceremony (we always do) but you could tell very many people skipped. The church had maybe 2 dozen people there and when you got to the reception that night there were well over a hundred! I was so shocked. I also feel this may happen at my wedding as I have a 3.5 hour gap, I will not like it, but I am prepared for it.

I find it rude as well. So you don't care about the entire reason we are here today but you want to show up for the free booze and dinner?

I also recently attended a large wedding in LA and of the 250 ppl that were at the reception, probably only half went to the wedding. I was kinda shocked by that. So it does happen...

A gap is very rude. The most time there should be between the ceremony and reception is 1-1.5 hours and it needs to be hosted (like a cocktail hour). If it's longer than that and not hosted than most guests will skip the ceremony, especially if they're OOT. I mean, what are they supposed to do for that time? To them it can be a big waste of gas and time and money. If there's a large distance between transportation should be provided for your guests. Other than that I can see a couple people having timing issues but there shouldn't be a huge difference between ceremony and reception otherwise. Unfortunately there's nothing you can do other than make it as easy as possible for everyone to attend. At the end of the day it won't ruin your wedding so try not to stress!

On the invitations, put "Reception to follow" and don't put an address. They'll have to show up at the ceremony to find out where the reception will be!

I've never heard of this happening before. I wonder if it's more popular depending on the region?

Thank you all for responding. I appreciate your comments and opinions very much. This is my first question on this site. I'm sure I'll have more. Lol.

I definitely like the "reception to follow" and not put an address to it. Just the address for ceremony. Very smart.

I will be looking for locations that have ceremony and reception at same place to make it easier on guests. I wouldn't want a big gap either.

But most importantly, as suggested, I'll try not to stress about it. Thanks so much.

All but two of our guest went to both. We knew they were not going to wedding because of their job and felt bad about it and said they never just attended a reception before. We told them that we understood and to please come to reception.

Part of the reason I appreciate having a smaller wedding. We have so many people who want to be there, I highly doubt anyone will be a no-show. If anything we're worried that too many might show up. However, we are planning for a wedding after-party. Those who didn't make the guests will be able to meet us downtown for cocktails and light hors d'oeuvres ^_^

Still, I agree, no ceremony, no din-din!

Where I'm from, it definitely happens. I won't say that "most people" will do that, but you'll have it here. I know that not everyone on our list will attend the ceremony.

I'm not quite sure why your planner told you that guests tend to skip the ceremony. If I care about the person getting married, I'm going to make every attempt to witness this important event. Besides, weddings are beautiful to watch.

The only reason I would chose to attend a reception and not a ceremony is if there was a long gap (hours) in between the two events. I'd chose the reception. It would be the place where I could give a couple their gift (don't want to hand someone an envelope in a receiving line and then tell them that I'm taking off).

Just a heads-up; if you don't mention the location of the reception on the invitation, be prepared to handle phone calls and texts asking where the reception is being held. I once received an invitation, but it said nothing about a ceremony. I callled, and learned that the couple had been married a month before (w/a reception) in another state. This reception was for her side of the family.