How to deal with an uninvited plus one??

I would call her and just explain that due to budget and space, you can't have any extra guests. Apologize for teh inconvenience and move on. She'll get over it.

Maybe a mrs said it best. That is a great way to handle it.

Just tell her that you were unaware of her seeing anyone and unfortunately cannot accomodate Dave; but you would still love to see her at your wedding (if you really do).

I'd let it go if you can afford the extra person. If it's really a financial or space crunch, I'd take the approach mentioned above.

Thanks for the input! It actually really is a space issue. Our room only holds 150. We had to eliminate some of our friends from the A-list in order to get our numbers down. If we do have more room, I'd rather invite a friend on the B-list than a random boyfriend who I've never heard of or met. I really need to figure out whether I want to confront her on this. Blah!

How old is the cousin?

Agree with maybe - a- mrs

She is in her mid-30s. We had a general rule for all of our guests - if they are in a serious long term relationship, then they we invited them with that person named as their guest. I was not aware of any boyfriend that she had. Last time I saw her was at my bridal shower in May and she didnt mention it. So we invited her without a guest.

You're going to have to give her a call and say that space and budget are tight, and unfortunately because you did not know about Dave when you were drawing up your guest list, you will not be able to include him.

I'm having serious space issues myself. So I am already spreading the word among guests that we'll do our best to accommodate plus-ones if you have a steady, but unfortunately we can't give out generic plus-ones or invite someone you've just started seeing.

WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS?!?! I just responded to another post about uninvited guests. WTF man WTF.

I would contact her and say that your venue only allows you a certain number of people and there simply is no room for him. Tell her that if anyone RSVPs no than you will let her know.

Thanks ladies!

And I agree Alison K. - WTF!?

I didn't read anyone's comments but I had this similar situation. I had a gf from college who was in and on again off again relationship with a very bad guy and at the time I sent out the invitations they were living together but solely as roommates. So only her name with no additionals were added. When she rsvp'd on my ww website (which specifically states only names ON the envelope are invited at this time) she commented "Hey Nic! Just a heads up I'm bringing Sal" (Sal being the guy. So while I wanted to respond with an "Oh hell no you aren't." I emailed her with something along these lines: "Hey Amber! How are things? I saw that you rsvp'd yes to coming! I'm really excited to see you! I also noticed your comment. While I would love to say yes he can come due to budgetary constraints our plus ones are only going out to those in long term relationships, engaged or married. At this time I can only keep my extended invitation to you. Hope to still see you there!" To which

She replied "So can my BOYFRIEND come to the reception then??!!" That got a "Hey the reception is where our constraints are the most. The dance is open to anyone but the ceremony and reception are invite only. Thanks for asking!" Yeah it may sound like I was "babying" the situation and in a sense I had to but it worked! I haven't had any problems with her since. But because of that I had to do a seating chart just to ensure that she didn't try and "sneak" him in. Good luck! Hope that helps!

Just let me preface this with I know that 1s are annoying and hard to deal with, but let me try to explain it a little more from a Guest 1 stand point.

I've many times been to weddings before I got to my own, and was the MOH for my sister last year. I can say I get why people want to bring a 1. There are usually a few different reasons.

1. Think about it, people who bring 1s typically have never been married, so they don't know the cost and aggrivation that a 1 can bring to a budget, seating limitations, and seating charts.

2. People feel like they might be akward and alone without a date. They don't know who you are going to sit them with, and they want someone to have fun with. The bride and groom are always spread very thin at their wedding. Hundreds of guests and only two of them.

(con't)

3. Some of the younger people who bring 1s want to feel accepted. No one want's granny coming up to you and asking you why you don't have a date (my grandma is straight off the boat, old school, European. When I was 16 (her oldest grand child by the way) she was wondering wondering why she didn't have any great grand-babies yet and implying that I was going to be an old spinster - lmao!).

4. Weddings are, in a singles mind, a great place to get the introductions of the new bf/gf to the whole family at once.

Most of the time the people who invite 1s don't realize what an inconvenience it is. Mind you I'm not condoning it. But most who add a 1 will understand if you tell them no with a good reason. They just never realize all that goes into a wedding (IMHO is the biggest issue).

That being said I'm with Maybe-a-Mrs. Just let her know gently, and if he can be accommodated later in the process, that you will let her know

I think allowing a single adult the option of brining a guest makes it more likely that they will come and enjoy your wedding. If it's important to you that she comes to your wedding, I'd allow the guest if at all possible. Obviously she is close enough to this Dave guy that she's comfortable bringing him to your wedding. If you can't work it out, Maybe a Mrs. said it rather tactfully.

Like Jessie Lyn said, I can understand why some people who are young and inexperienced in weddings might think it's not a big deal to bring a plus one... What I don't understand is why you would think that it's ok to bring your 4 children when only the parents names are on the envelope. This happened to us twice so far! One is my FFIL's friend... since he won't know anyone else and all of FFIL's other friends declined we decided it would be ok. My mom insisted that we let my cousin's 4 children slide because too many people would be offended if we said anything

34 years ago my husband and I had this problem. The invitation was correctly filled out and we specifically invited his aunts and uncles. However, the aunts (and some cousins) thought that because we invited two people (aunt and uncle) that if the uncle had to work (or whatever) that the aunt could bring one of her children. I was outraged and then my (at the time) future mother-in-law got calls about how inconsiderate I was and then she called me telling me how thoughtless I was.

Great start to our lives together and a bad start to my entry into this large sprawling Italian family.

Now 34 years later, my son is having the same problem with the same relatives. Either they don't reply at all (some think they only have to reply if they are coming and others think only if they are not coming) but no one seems to know the etiquette surrounding the names on the invitation. My mother (who is 95) thinks that it is because the reply says "number of guests" but I told her that only means how many can come among those whose names are on the invitation. Someone here said that is probably a generational thing but I don't know.

Continued - By the way, I love this big sprawling family. Back 34 years ago, I didn't know them very well. Over the years some of them have given weddings with over 250 guests but my husband and I and now our son just don't have the money to do something like that.

However one other caveat. Just recently one of my son's cousins was married with no one invited except the "immediate family" invited. My husband and I were told about a month before the wedding that we were not invited. I guess aunt's and uncle's aren't considered "immediate family" by that couple in this instance. We were hurt (actually at one point "outraged" because we have always endeavored to make sure that no one is left out of any family celebration including birthdays, engagement parties, graduation parties, etc) and now there is a rift between my husband and his sister (mother of the groom in this case).

I have always said ( and I hope I am not always correct) that there are two things that can rip a family apart - weddings and funerals. I have seen a lot of both (I am in my 60s) and it can be sad.

I am currently running into this problem. I invited a close family friend and her boyfriend of 10 years to my wedding. Today I received an RSVP for only the boyfriend and one of their children ( The children were not invited ) I am at a complete loss and now I have to deal with an awkward phone call. Honestly I did not want children at my wedding. I only have my two small nephews coming which are in the wedding. Can anyone help guide me on this?