How much is too much to spend on a bachelorette party?

I would pass. My wedding was out of state for husband and I to be nearer to our extended families. *I* couldn't even afford to travel for more than just my actual wedding and it was like pulling teeth getting my closest friends to even commit to traveling for the wedding too. So I had no wedding showers, pre-wedding parties, or bachelorette. And I am still completely married. Your friend will be just fine if you skip any or all of her events ( except of course the wedding).

Same thing just happened to me. It was going to be ONE NIGHT in san Francisco and would cost me over 500. I could not justify wasting that much money on less than 24 hours. I talked to the bride and she was totally fine with it, so I recommend that.

She should have left the planning to her bridal party/MOH, and they could have come up with a plan that was within everyone's budget. But seeing as she didn't and is trying to plan her own party....I wouldn't go. That's a crazy amount of money that you would be spending, in addition to everything else you've already spent AND the actual wedding.

You shouldn't feel bad about not being able to go and your friend should be understanding of the reason. If you want to do something nice for her bachelorette party maybe pay for a couple bottles of champagne to be delivered to their room with a note from you.

You have absolutely no obligation to attend a destination bachelorette party and spend so much money. Given all of the travel you've already done for this wedding, I would expect the bride to be completely understanding. If she gives you grief, then she is a selfish tool.

Keep us updated when you tell her.

I went to a friend's Bach party in college. I think I had to pay $10 for the party bus, plus whatever dinner I got at the restaurant and booze at the bars. I don't think I spent more than $50. I would not be able to drop $500 for a flight alone and then hotel and all the rest. I would tell her I couldn't make it.

I think brides that expect people to travel and spend big bucks for a bachelorette are assholes.

Hi all! A quick update...I talked the bride this morning and she was bummed but completely understood. Afterwards I told the MOH who's also a good friend and she was pretty upset. She now plans on talking to the bride to try to get her to move the bachelorette party. I told her not to move the party because of me, but it sounds like she wasn't feeling the destination, either.

Negative. I'm having a destination wedding and I was thrilled when my BM suggested using her parents lake house for free and just doing a weekend there with some drinking and good friends! I wouldn't be doing the bachelorette party if it was that expensive at all

Savannah is amazing! Is there anyway you can fly in cheaper somewhere and then maybe drive there? Jacksonville is only 2 hours south... I would hate for you to miss out on this time. Just making sure you check all options.

I think you've gone above and beyond going to the e-party and shower if you are out of state. Money is unfortunately finite.

I don't like this whole bachelorette party becoming more then one night personally. I wouldn't assume that she expects you to chip in for her trip like flight, hotel etc. maybe that's why she even booked the hotel so others wouldn't pay for her. However, aside from that, you are completely within your right to say that's out of your budget and you won't be able to attend

I'm glad the MOH is trying to find an affordable solution to this...maybe it only took one person to say what everyone else was thinking haha.

There is nothing wrong with passing, if you can't afford it you shouldn't stress over it. If she doesn't understand your relationship have more issues than this party. Good luck!!!

I think you're an amazing friend for making that many trips already but if the bachelorette party isn't in your budget- skip it !!! I don't know when these crazy price for bachelorette parties even came from, but most BP are already spending several hundred plus dollars to be in your wedding. The point of the bach party is to enjoy a night out with your closest friends, not be some extravagant thing. I would never wanna plan my own either. Takes the fun out..

Wow you are a really good friend. I wouldn't ask my friends to do that. I wouldn't feel bad about passing on it. For my Bach my bestfriend planned it and we all got together at her house and had a great time. The whole thing cost 200. Which I will be returning the favor when she gets married as I told her, it does not have to be expensive and fancy just our friends together is enough

Have you considered

driving? That's how we always saved money on travel.

You are an excellent friend to get on flights for all those other events! That's so expensive for a bachelorette party and I wish the bride would've talked about it ahead of time. My best friend and her husband made a rule years ago that they don't get on planes for bachelor/bachelorette parties, which I think is a great rule, ESPECIALLY if you also have to travel for the wedding!

My MOH may not be able to come to my hen weekend. While i would love her to be there I've told her i would choose her presence at the wedding over my hen weekend! She may not get the time off work for both. Tell the bride straight. If she doesn't understand then she isn't a friend

I told my MOH that I didn't want anyone spending money on showers and that if there was a bachelorette it would have to be something cheap. They planed a 3 day cruise. 250 each but they all agreed to it.