How much is too much to spend on a bachelorette party?

Your friend is a diva if she gets upset that you won't attend her self-planned insanely expensive bach party. People need to realize there's going to be a wedding, not a coronation. No one needs all those parties.

I'm frugal-ish, so $100 would be my absolute max.

If you can't afford it, then you can't. Sure,she might get pissy, but that's not your fault.

I was just in a wedding, and also flew from CA to MA for the shower, bachelorette and wedding. The bride told me on more than one occasion that, while she would love to have me at any/all events, I should NOT feel pressured to fly across the country for any of them (except the wedding). That meant a lot, and I think it's what any bride should say to friends/family who have to travel for any of the events or a wedding.

If your friend is really your friend, she'll understand when you tell you you'd love to be there but simply can't afford it. Offer to take her out for a drink after the shower or something, but do NOT feel pressure to go.

That's awesome that your bride said that to you! If my friend said that to me I probably wouldn't have even posted this.

I agree with everyone who previously posted. You need to set a boundary for yourself and your wallet.

Absolutely not. I spent $600 on a destination bachelorette party and it made me so salty. I was invited to a party in Key West next month but I won't be going. The cost alone without travel and meals is $600. Honestly, a weekend long bachelorette is excessive. There are very few people I would do that for; I think anymore more than a night out on your town with your girlfriends is asking too much.

This is exactly what I'm afraid of! I won't enjoy my time with her and our other friends because I'll be thinking about how much money I spent just to get there :/

Nope. I would not have flown for anything but the wedding so I think you are definitely off the hook for an expensive and self planned Bach. I just went to one that ended up being about $300 and I was not a happy camper. Great people but the whole weekend get away is too much in my opinion.

Nope, don't go. I had a bridesmaid who lived across the country and she didn't come to my bridal shower or bachelorette, and I was ok with that because I wanted her to be able to stand by my side when I got married. Not to pay for me to have an expensive party. If she gets mad at you because she ignored what you said and you don't want to go into debt to do stuff that (in my opinion) you've made perfectly clear you couldn't afford, then that's on her. And if she kicks you out of the wedding (not saying she will, but she sounds like the type) then consider yourself lucky.

You're not obligated to go to the bachelorette party, but if you /want/ to go, you can try downloading the free Hopper app. A friend who travels a lot recommended it. It notifies you when ticket prices are down.

I have the Hopper app! It's actually awesome. However, the flights to this destination are just not cheap and haven't budged.

That's asking way too much! I know of someone right now stressing about saving funds to attend her friends 5 day bachelorette party! The bride picked the destination herself of course. I imagine they will end up spending way more then 500. I think anything over a couple hundred is just too much. I wouldn't do it.

You are not a terrible bridesmaid or friend at all!!! None of my bridal party was able to be at my bridal shower and only my MOH (who organized it) was able to be at my bachelorette party (it was just her and local friends). I was obviously sad they couldn't come, but none of them live here so it wasn't realistic they could fly back and forth repeatedly. You've already gone above and beyond by going to the engagement party and bridal shower! Don't feel bad at all. For my shower, MOH filmed a video message and toasted me with champagne and it was really touching, so maybe you can do something similar for your friend.

That's crazy I'm sorta planning my own bc my moh is useless n keeps asking what to do but I've only researched options

I've flew from Dallas going to savannah and they are really expensive. We had to fly in to Atlanta and drive, which is a cheaper option if you can get other girls to split the rental with you. If not, I'd just skip it.

I think she is asking too much of you I would have an honest conversation with her.

Thanks for all your input! I think I'm just going to have to speak to my friend this weekend. Wish me luck!

Absolutely not. That's is way too much and she should definitely be considerate

No!

Where do people work that they can afford these destination parties? Seriously. I don't get it.

You're such a good friend for flying out twice. I wouldn't expect you to come to the shower, just hopefully the wedding if flights were reasonable!

People need to be more realistic and you are using logic by not wanting to pay for a 500 dollar flight. That's crazy to me.

I agree with PP! If you were my BM I would feel terrible that you spent so much to get to the engagement, shower and wedding! Never mind a more expensive bachelorette! Even if the bachelorette party was where the bride lives I wouldn't expect you to go because that is a lot of traveling for one wedding!