How Many People Didn't Show Up?

How did you know whom didn't show up? Just curious so when my time comes I will know how to tell if someone came or didn't.

View Quoted Comment I have a similar situation. My poor FH only has 3 family members showing up to our wedding on Sunday. Everyone pissed and moaned about not getting their invitation first (sorry, we don’t control the post office), and made such a ruckus out of it. Then what? Everyone declines because of some reason or another. My FH says he’s fine, but I know it troubles him. From my family, I had an aunt/uncle and their two kids decline because they are traveling that next week, and after RSVPing, another aunt/uncle and their three kids retracted because of...well I never got a straight answer. It sucks when family can’t make this more of a priority. It really does make one feel unloved by them. Our guest list right now is 37 people (so sad, I know), and hopefully everyone will show!

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Because you can't always have your cake and eat it too. Hosting a wedding properly can be about making tough choices that we don't always love but understanding that limitations exist and that is okay.

I started grad school a year before our wedding. Would I have loved to include friends from school in our guest list? Absolutely. But it was out of reach for what we could afford. I actually had friends from school complain about another classmate who invited them last minue (B listed them) and had initially only invited them for cocktails after the dinner. People were hurt by this because they felt like an after thought. One girl said to me "I understand that you can't have everyone you would want so I get not being invited but I'd rather not be invited than be included only because someone else said they can't go". And we are pretty close!

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Sometimes you can. It's not like it's going to be the day-of, it'll be at least a month before the wedding. I don't feel bad about doing this- I'd love an opportunity like that if someone invited me because some else wasn't able to go.

I think we had less than 5 no shows...and we had about 350 guests. As far as I remember, all no-shows let us know ahead of time, but honestly there wasn't much to do about it at that point. Most were because of illness or death in the family.

Also, I've been B-listed to weddings and I don't take much offense at it. These weddings are mostly people who i'm not very close to and so I'm not offended not being invited to the original wedding. If you're telling me two days before, I may come if I don't have other plans. The only time I've been kinda offended was when I got invites via facebook messenger (two weddings!). One was because the bride ran out of invites so she had messaged a few people. I was already invited to the bridal shower so I knew I'd be invited to the wedding. The other one was a blatant last minute because the groom messaged me on facebook a week before the wedding to ask me to attend. We weren't close, but I had good friends going so I went and had a good time with them. I did get them all presents.

We invited 220, had 170 yes’s, 2 no shows. Fortunately we owed our bar tab the night of, so the venue gave us credit for the couple that didn’t show up.

We had 50 people. One came to the ceremony but not for dinner. So, I guess just one.

We had 9 no shows and I’m salty about every single one of them.

One of H's uncles no-showed. Never heard why.

And one of H's GM's fiancees decided 2 days before she couldn't come. Friday wedding, she worked until 4:30 in a town 30 minutes away, 5:00 ceremony. Ok, so then why the heck did you say you could come if you couldn't? We told the GM that she was more than welcome for the dinner/reception which wouldn't start until 6:30, and she said that wouldn't work because she had to go home first (5 minutes away from her work) and let the dog out.

View Quoted Comment We could tell who wasn’t there because we had assigned tables. When we made our way around to each table to say our hellos and thank yous, we could see which chairs were empty. Also we noticed a few people missing while everyone was sitting down for dinner

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I absolutely agree!

So based on the comments it's safe to say you will at least have 2 people not show up. Life happens.

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Agree! Do what works for you. No wedding is the same. Congrats!

View Quoted Comment My invitations are saying "No gifts, but the gift of your presence" at the bottom and we're formally inviting our families a week before.

View Quoted Comment Technically, wedding invitations should never mention gifts at all. Even to say gifts aren't necessary implies gifts would ordinarily be required.

A week before?! That's very last minute. How will family members be able to plan ahead or keep their schedules open? Do any have to travel? Man, my family knew well in advance of us sending out or STDs at 7 months when we'd be getting married.

View Quoted Comment 1) The bride cancelled the wedding twice. First, her MOH had a cold, and called her to say that she didn't want her to get married without her. Second, MOH twisted her ankle and was told to stay off of it for two weeks. She clearly couldn't stand up with her, so the bride pushed the wedding off another month. Then the day of, her MOH split her dress and she called it off again. MOB saved the day by giving her MOH a cardigan. Some people who had already arrived turned around and left before the MOH got a cardigan.
2) The bride also waffled about her primary colors. She'd tell everyone who asked one color, change her mind, tell other people another color, and then the first people would hear about the change.
4) It was made publicly aware that the reception was also a gender reveal party.
5) Her mom DIYed all the food, all the decorations, and all of the flower arrangements, and a good portion of the yes RSVPed guests heard the bride wasn't helping with jack squat.
6) She'd make crazy demands. Don't wear this, wear that. You can bring so-and-so, but not so-and-so. No people of color. No clothes worth less than $50 at the wedding as a guest. No up-dos, she's the only one allowed to have her hair done like that. On and on, "because she's the bride and it's HER day."

View Quoted Comment I mentioned the wedding gifts on our invitations because I already know that his family is going to be so upset that there's no time to get FH appropriate gifts, and also because anything that FMILs children or husband gives anyone is subject to periodic "borrows" for her because they are an extension of her. If she gave it to you, even by proxy, she had a right to use it whenever she wants.

View Quoted Comment I've heard the only acceptable wedding plans from her. Anything less will be tacky and uneducated. She'll call us every hour on the hour with "better suggestions" until the day of. I know how much I can take, and a week of every hour on the hour is more than I know I can take. I know that it lacks social respect to do what we're planning, but I'm also working with no rights, just responsibilities, when it comes to his family.

View Quoted Comment Yessssss. This too is my fear. We have seats for 60. And aint nobody got time for seating charts... Soooo if someone brings an extra ass, somebody won't have a seat. Good thing is, we have a buffet with more than enough food....

70 confirmed RSVPs. One couple cancelled at the last minute due to sitter issues. Another Couple was a complete no show/no call and one friend came without her plus one. Total of 5.