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nicjc2018
Beginner February 2018

How Many People Didn't Show Up?

nicjc2018, on March 5, 2018 at 11:54 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 89

One of the biggest tips I wish someone told me before the wedding was YOU WILL HAVE NO SHOWS THE DAY OF. As much as I did my best to confirm days before the wedding life happens and 6 out of 106 guests did not show up. I guess that was not too bad, but I wish I had a way to plan a back up list so...

One of the biggest tips I wish someone told me before the wedding was YOU WILL HAVE NO SHOWS THE DAY OF. As much as I did my best to confirm days before the wedding life happens and 6 out of 106 guests did not show up. I guess that was not too bad, but I wish I had a way to plan a back up list so the seats did not go empty. Especially being a plated dinner.

So just curious...how many no show guests did you have?

89 Comments

  • Danielle K
    VIP June 2019
    Danielle K ·
    • Flag

    I am more worried about people showing up that didn't RSVP

    • Reply
  • FMM
    Expert June 2019
    FMM ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    These are my thoughts exactly.
    • Reply
  • S
    Expert July 2017
    SaraBear ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Soooo I was B-listed to a bridal shower. The bride invited me a week before and I didn’t even have a wedding invitation. I declined, it’s rude. Two months later, I was B-listed to their wedding. They invited me two weeks before and I would have rather not been invited. I was just beginning to get to know them (my friend was in their wedding party) and this whole situation turned me off from ever getting to know them further. I can’t imagine someone I was closer with doing it to me. It sucked. They literally told me who exactly wasn’t coming so I could look for their name card and where I would sit. And then the bride asked me what I got them as a wedding gift and to bring her Starbucks on my way to the venue. My guy friend, who was also B-listed, and I powered our way through cocktail hour, got nice and drunk, ate our fancy steak dinner, and left immediately.

    You may may not think you’re upsetting anyone but how would you feel, “John Smith means more to me so I invited him to the wedding but he’s not coming anymore, so you can have his place.” No guest is going to feel honored or appreciated by that.
    • Reply
  • Chasity
    Savvy May 2018
    Chasity ·
    • Flag

    80 days before I walk down the isle. Already my best friend of 18 years dropped from my wedding party because her son might have a baseball tournament that day. As much as that hurts, FH youngest brother is about to go to basic training with the Navy so it worked out that I did not have to find someone to fill her place. FOG, as of right now, said he must stay behind to take care of their dogs. So far though, no one has declined the invite.

    • Reply
  • M
    Dedicated September 2018
    Michelle ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    I'm totally fine with being invited as a b-list guest to a wedding where I am just getting to know the couple. I think that is totally fine and actually kind of flattering, like they think I'm fun and want to be better friends! What is not fine is making it super clear they only invited you to get a gift and be her errand girl for the day!!

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    I couldn’t agree more. My cousin and his girlfriend did this to us, with no explanation. I later found out they just never put in for the day off so they had to work. I was so mad. We paid over $100pp and only owed final numbers 7 days before, which means they probably already knew they weren’t coming when we made our final payment, and they just didn’t bother to tell us.
    • Reply
  • S
    Expert July 2017
    SaraBear ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Even before asking me for a gift, I wasn’t flattered. I had known them when they got engaged, during their engagement, when save the dates and invitations went out. They had plenty of time to get to know me, send me a legit invite (there were over 300 people in attendance), instead of B-listing time if they were truly sincere about it. I only went because my friend in her bridal party begged me to because she didn’t know anyone else.
    • Reply
  • melanie
    Master August 2017
    melanie ·
    • Flag
    1 didn't show up


    • Reply
  • M
    Dedicated September 2018
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Well that's pretty crummy of them! Luckily I had a different experience but I'm sorry they were rude to you!

    • Reply
  • Talullah
    VIP May 2018
    Talullah ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Dead to you? All I can say is WOW!! Your family & friends were good enough to invite but now that they didn't come they're dead to you.
    No shows are a part of life. It happens, but being dead to you is quite extreme. Get over it, s**t happens.
    • Reply
  • QueenDavis
    Super October 2018
    QueenDavis ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    I learned a LONG time ago to pay people on this site no mind, they quick to tell you "it's your day" but quick to call you names without knowing nothing about you. It makes TOTALLY sense on why you have a B list.... I would rather have my money be used, rather then wasted. I have so many friends I couldn't invite because our families are so big. If anyone of my family memeber decline I'm replacing with close friends. IDGAF about a gift because my family is cheap as hell and I most likely won't have much. It's about who I want there.

    • Reply
  • A
    Just Said Yes April 2018
    April ·
    • Flag
    4 so I didn't have to deal with these kinds of things.
    • Reply
  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Exactly. I'm surprise someone is appalled and tickled at this. We are at $200pp as well, this is for sure a friendship ending move. And I'm not paying for my blood family my parents are, but they would be dead to me as well. Things come up, I get that, but this isn't a casuals summer bbq either!

    • Reply
  • FutureLadyH
    Devoted May 2018
    FutureLadyH ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    The people she said were dead to her included people who changed their RSVPs. If you got enough notice where you didn't pay for them in your final count, the reason really doesn't matter.

    I did say a declination is better than a no show.
    • Reply
  • FutureLadyH
    Devoted May 2018
    FutureLadyH ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    And if it's not a friend? You stop going to family gatherings? You may not be paying for your family, but I am. If my aunt can't make it I'd prefer she update her RSVP than pull a no-show. She'll still be my aunt the day after.
    • Reply
  • KatieMBY
    VIP January 2018
    KatieMBY ·
    • Flag
    12 out of 105 (I think).

    One of them called us the week of and told us he had to travel for his job and couldn’t make it. Still kind of sucked.
    • Reply
  • KatieMBY
    VIP January 2018
    KatieMBY ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    I completely agree!

    We had half a table of people not show up to our wedding after spending NYE at their home only weeks before!!! They were one of the first couples to RSVP when we sent our invites out. We still haven’t heard from anyone who didn’t show. So damn rude.
    • Reply
  • QueenDavis
    Super October 2018
    QueenDavis ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Omg!!!!! Idek how i would have handle that. I would have been livid.... the parents and they son would have been kicked out.
    • Reply
  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Then my aunt owes me some sort of explanation. I think the real issue here is that people kind of ghost, Idk if they feel bad, are embarrassed or what. But if I couldn't make it I would be sending a lovely gift and a card at the very least! And every family is different, there is a reason I'm not paying for mine. But regardless of who you are you owe the couple some sort of 'I'm sorry'.

    • Reply
  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Yes! How do you just ghost?? Thats what I don't understand. No matter what came up (a death, birth, or anything in-between), once that situation is over and handled, you should follow up.

    • Reply

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