Are they in on every stage of planning or just when asked their opinions? Are they enthusiastic participants or they like, "where do I pick up the tux and what time should I be at the church?" I am planning a Catholic "convalidation" wedding ceremony at my church for early June, just after our 38th anniversary. I am Catholic (he is not) and because I'd been married before, I couldn't have a Catholic wedding. The earlier marriage has since been annulled by the Church so now I can have a Catholic wedding. We discussed this and he insisted it be quiet and simple and I agreed, as long as we could have the honeymoon we also didn't have back then - we had bought a house and then had a baby born just after our 1st anniversary. So, my closest and dearest friend (also our church's music/choir director and organist) and I have been planning the day. The ceremony will be a simple exchange of vows and rings at the end of the 10AM Sunday Mass. My friend is Matron of Honor, our son is Best Man, and his 2 kids, boy 12, girl 9 will take part by bringing the Offertory gifts to the altar during Mass. My MOH and her husband, both close friends of ours, are hosting our wedding dinner at a nearby favorite elegant restaurant. It will be 8 of us including the priest. Another close girlfriend, a retired baker whom I've known, and gotten cakes from, for 35 years, is making a small tiered cake for the dinner, and we'll use our original cake topper - a Precious Moments Bride & Groom figurine which topped our original cake. We're also using our original wedding bands. My outfit is a simple cream lace ensemble with a small bow headpiece with a tiny veil. His is his new black formal suit and I bought him a white French cuff shirt and a nice paisley tie. I also bought outfits for the kids. We had a lot of paperwork to do for the priest which is done; this week we're meeting with him as required for weddings at the church. There are no invited guests per se - the only people at church who know about the ceremony are the priest, my choir - whom I told and who is singing at Mass that day anyway, (they're very excited!) and the MOH and her husband. So even "quiet and simple" required planning. I've tried to share the important details with him -those being the date, time, what he's wearing, when our son is coming in from out of state, and the paperwork and meeting with the priest. But when I mentioned the cake, he exploded and said I was becoming "obsessed"!! I simply reminded him that I've kept the details (and costs, btw) to a minimum, that the ceremony was necessary for me, and we needed a dessert for dinner anyway (and we're not paying for the dinner). I just want to keep him in the loop and give him chances to have an opinion. Most of the actual detail planning has been done by me and my MOH (who is almost more excited than I am!) at church or at her house so he has no knowledge of what we needed to do because he has no interest in the planning. So I am disappointed in his attitude. He's not unwilling to do this for me, but his mind is clearly not on it. My MOH, who is a very wise woman, explained it's because he's a man. Now we do have other serious family issues pending, most of which we can't do much about except pray. So I'm wondering if you brides have much, or any, input from your grooms?
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