Sam
Master August 2024

How are you handling the holidays as a couple?

Sam, on November 12, 2018 at 2:05 PM

Posted in Family and Relationships 58

The holiday season is a time to celebrate with family and loved ones! But, when there are two of you, there are two families to spend time with! How do you divide and conquer? Do you attend two Thanksgivings each year? Do you go to Thanksgiving with one family and Christmas with the other? Or, do...

The holiday season is a time to celebrate with family and loved ones! But, when there are two of you, there are two families to spend time with! How do you divide and conquer?

Do you attend two Thanksgivings each year? Do you go to Thanksgiving with one family and Christmas with the other? Or, do you choose to gather everyone in one house and host the holidays? How are you handling the holidays as a couple?

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Photo by A Tale Ahead Photography in Pacifica, CA

For more family matters, check out these community conversations: When did you meet the parents/family? Where did you draw the line on family? Would you rather... hand over complete planning control to your parents or your future in-laws?


58 Comments

  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
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    We've been doing pretty well so far with alternating holidays! My husband cares way more about Thanksgiving than Christmas, and my parents care more about Christmas so we spend Thanskgiving with his family and Christmas with mine!

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  • Danielle
    Expert March 2019
    Danielle ·
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    Our first thanksgiving we couldn’t spend together because neither family would give us up (I really couldn’t go anywhere, I was in charge of the turkey at moms house). So last year we bought a house and now we host thanksgiving so both sides come to us. Christmas works ok, because my family does the bigger party on Christmas Eve. We spend the night with them to see the kids open presents in the morning, then head to his parents for Christmas dinner.
    • Reply
  • Alyssa
    Super July 2019
    Alyssa ·
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    We live across the country from our families and they live in different states so we have to pick which family we see each holiday. FH's family gets together for thanksgiving so we visit them for that holiday. We visit my parents for Christmas which means juggling two Christmas celebrations because my parents are divorced. Luckily my parents live in the same city so at least we can see them both in one trip. We're doing a lot of traveling these next two months!
    • Reply
  • Nicole
    Rockstar July 2020
    Nicole ·
    • Flag

    Thanksgiving is probably the hardest for us to navigate as it's MY holiday - I've been cooking Thanksgiving dinner for my family since I was in high school. He's from a massive family, and they all gather at his grandparent's house for potluck style holidays. I'm not willing to let go of my tradition for this holiday and my step-dad is still recovering from battling cancer last year (which makes eating uncomfortable at times), so merging the celebrations isn't going to work. With that being said, we'll be going to my parent's house where I'll cook an early dinner for the four of us (my parents, FH, and I since my sister/step-sisters and their families are not around this year). Then, we'll go to his grandparent's house for a second Thanksgiving later in the evening. Christmas is easier as my family has always done our big celebration on Christmas Eve, so we'll do that, and then spend Christmas Day with his family. Easter is also split with church with my family in the morning and Easter dinner with his family.

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  • Kristen
    VIP April 2020
    Kristen ·
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    With us it’s going to probably vary year-to-year, but this Thanksgiving we will travel with my family, and Christmas will be with his immediate family at their home.
    • Reply
  • Maren
    Champion October 2021
    Maren ·
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    That's great, Kristen! True, taking it a year at a time makes perfect sense! Sort of a balance. Smiley heart I am also spending this Christmas with my SO's family!

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  • Sam
    Master August 2024
    Sam ·
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    Hi Melissa! That is so nice! I am glad you are able to divide and spend time with all of your loved ones during the holiday season! Smiley smile

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  • Margaret
    Dedicated December 2019
    Margaret ·
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    We live close to his family, and several hours away from mine, so this year we're mixing it up.

    As we're getting married in my home state of New York over the winter holidays next year, we're spending Thanksgiving in NY with my family this year. Then we'll celebrate Hanukkah with his mom, as she's Jewish, and that's what FH and I are. However, as his dad is a Christian, we'll do Christmas with him.

    Next year will be two Thanksgivings, one with his mom, one with his dad. Then as I said, we'll be in New York for the wedding (Dec 28) next year, so we'll celebrate Chrismukkah (Hanukkah is Dec 22 - Dec 30 next year, so Christmas runs into it), with my parents, as although they're both Jewish, my family has always done Christmas too (in a secular way) as it's part of the American culture.

    • Reply
  • Jamie
    Devoted May 2020
    Jamie ·
    • Flag

    Usually we go to both family get-togethers for Thanksgiving and Christmas. My family tends to be very flexible, and we usually will do Thanksgiving on the Saturday after, and Christmas on the Saturday after, or however it works out. That gives everyone a chance to attend their second/married families get-togethers. However, one day I would love for both my family and my FH's to come together at one place and all celebrate together... hopefully when we have a house!

    • Reply
  • Sam
    Master August 2024
    Sam ·
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    Hi Jamie! That's a really nice idea! I'm glad everyone is so flexible! Smiley heart

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  • Rita-Jean
    Devoted May 2019
    Rita-Jean ·
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    FH and I have been debating how we're going to do this for a while now, lol. Once we're married we'll most likely going to set up a rotation that we're going to stick by, barring oddities and emergencies. His parents are divorced, so he's got at least two, if not sometimes 3 (grandparents/other family can sometimes be separate) of each holiday. Luckily I've only got one of each, and while my family almost always celebrates on the day, FH's family is a bit more flexible because some of his family work on the actual holiday (FH included). Our families live pretty much within 2-3 hours of each other (or at least, the hosting families are), so that helps.

    This year, FH is working on Thanksgiving (bummer), so he won't be able to attend my family's, but his mom is doing Thanksgiving the Saturday before. I can't remember right off hand if he's working Christmas or not, but he most likely will be.

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Devoted May 2019
    Sarah ·
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    This year we're doing Thanksgiving with my family in Louisiana and Christmas with his family who live 10 minutes from us. In the future, I would like to have everyone at our house for either holiday; however, I think until we can pull the we have small kids card, then we're going to be the ones traveling.

    • Reply
  • Sam
    Master August 2024
    Sam ·
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    Hi Sarah! I think it would be great to get everyone together in one house for the Holidays! The small kid card always works in my family! Smiley laugh

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  • D
    Savvy September 2019
    Dana ·
    • Flag
    We split time but my family is probably non-traditional. We invite all sides to the families so my fiancé’s parents are invited to my house and even his brother-in-laws family. It is the nicest thing we could have started because everyone is together and there is no choosing sides
    • Reply
  • Sam
    Master August 2024
    Sam ·
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    Wow, Dana! That is absolutely amazing! It's great that everyone can spend the holidays together! Smiley heart

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  • D
    Super September 2019
    Dana ·
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    I know it is really special. My parents started this tradition with both of their families and it is very nice to be with everyone ❤️
    • Reply
  • AQuixoticBride
    VIP July 2018
    AQuixoticBride ·
    • Flag

    We live across the country from our families right now, and flights are pricey so nobody bats an eye if we decide not to visit for the holidays. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, though so I throw a dinner with friends at our home. For the winter holidays, we sometimes fly out to see one family for Christmas and then fly from there to see the other family for New Year's.

    • Reply
  • N
    Devoted October 2018
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    We used to do two Thanksgivings on Thanksgiving day and two Christmases on Christmas Eve. I think moving forward, we are doing Thanksgiving with my side of the family and Christmas with his side if the family. On Christmas Day, we always hang out with his immediate family for a nice Christmas breakfast.
    • Reply
  • Sam
    Master August 2024
    Sam ·
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    Hi Nicole! That sounds like a great idea! I think that alternating for the holidays can make it easiest on everyone! Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • MrsV1027
    Master October 2018
    MrsV1027 ·
    • Flag

    He has no one anywhere near by in his family so we spend it with mine. We go to my parents the Sunday before Thanksgiving and then we actually are having Thanksgiving at my ex's house. We have a son together and my ex just had a baby so we are having a family thanksgiving to have both the kids together. We get along pretty well and they live 1 mile from us so it's pretty convenient lol.

    • Reply

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