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Just Said Yes October 2024

Bridesmaid/best friend possibly backing out

Natasha, on August 30, 2024 at 3:30 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 10
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Hello I need advice if any one can help. I received a message from my bridesmaid/best friend this morning who lives in a different state saying she may not make it to my wedding because financially she isn’t doing well and it all happened right after I asked her. I asked her back in April and I get married second weekend of October. She said she is waiting on a job to reach out this weekend then that will be a deciding factor if she can or not. I did ask her why she didn’t say anything as soon as stuff went down and she said she didn’t want to stress me out but in my eyes waiting to tell me a month before the wedding is stressing me out more than when things first started going south. My fiancé and I were talking I do have another friend that I haven’t known as long that I would love to be part of the wedding her husband is but we are only a month away so would that be bad to ask her and will she possibly know with how close the wedding is that someone bailed on me? should I wait to hear from my bridesmaid for sure to know before asking as well. I’m seriously on the verge of tears and my groom feels awful and helpless he hates when I get this way so I know he is also worried about me. Any advice for this stressed out bride is appreciated!

10 Comments

Latest activity by Andrea, on September 2, 2024 at 8:14 PM
  • Michael
    Master October 2023
    Michael ·
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    Avoid thinking of your best friend as bailing on you. She seems just not able to nicely deal with the pressures currently upon her.

    First point is that you can do a ceremony without a bridesmaid. Maybe another option is seeing if your best friend can still come if someone sponsors her. And see if she is happy with just attending or whether she wants to be a bridesmaid.

    You could rent a bridesmaid. Yes that exists but probably is not really necessary.

    The other option is that you can possibly note to this newer friend that you lost a bridesmaid but would think it sweet that she is up there along with her husband. It seems like you said the husband would be your fiancé's groomsman. Your situation does not seem severe as when several friends think they all should be the maid of honor.

    If it turns out your best friend can make it on late notice, then have two bridesmaids. Try to recognize this as a simple and natural situation common to life. And maybe some others will chime in with better advice Smiley winking

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  • N
    Just Said Yes October 2024
    Natasha ·
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    Thank you for that I’m just worried about this new friend thinking that I only asked her because one bridesmaid backed out and I don’t want our friendship ruined by it that is my only concern.
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  • Michael
    Master October 2023
    Michael ·
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    Indeed. That is the general concern and may still apply here. I was thinking your request could be seen as the start of greater couples friendship, especially if they are close to where you will be living.

    One thing is unclear. Do you several bridesmaids already? You do not have to have the same number of bridesmaids as groomsmen.

    There may be others who can comment with better insights. The responses may be slow over this weekend though.

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  • A
    Super January 2024
    Andrea ·
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    She’s not bailing on you. She’s having real problems and trying to work them out. If she’s your best friend, have some empathy for her situation. You don’t have to have a bridesmaid or even numbers of attendants, so it’s not going to ruin your wedding if she isn’t there. Just tell her you’re sorry she’s having a hard time and you hope she’ll be able to make it.
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  • N
    Just Said Yes October 2024
    Natasha ·
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    I have 5 bridesmaids and groomsmen so it will go down to 4 bridesmaid’s. I know it doesn’t have to be end but I don’t like it my mom even made that comment we keep the five groomsmen then I only four bridesmaids it’s just weird to me
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  • Michael
    Master October 2023
    Michael ·
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    What aspect of the ceremony or reception is most affected by the number of bridesmaids you have?

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  • N
    Just Said Yes October 2024
    Natasha ·
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    The ceremony where the bridesmaids and groomsmen walk down the aisle together and I walk down with my dad
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  • A
    Super January 2024
    Andrea ·
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    Have a groomsman with a bridesmaid on each arm. Have two bridesmaids walk together and the groomsman right behind them. Have them all do a celebratory conga line down the aisle. 😆


    We had the groomsmen go up the side with the groom and officiant, no procession, then the bridesmaid procession, then me and my dad. Leaving, it was us, then the BM & MoH together, then the last groomsman with both bridesmaids. It worked great.
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  • N
    Just Said Yes October 2024
    Natasha ·
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    That’s a fun idea! I did give the bridesmaid a timeline since we have to pay for the flowers and we have a due date when that is and she said okay so hopefully she responds and lets me know
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  • A
    Super January 2024
    Andrea ·
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    I hope it works out! Just roll with whatever happens and keep positive. My husband’s best man had a series of strokes a few months before the wedding and obviously couldn’t make it. Hubby invited someone else, and he ended up missing at the last minute because he got snowed in. So we ended up with uneven sides despite our planning. I think all the pictures still looked good. And we had a wonderful time. ❤️
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