Help! My Maid of Honor has done NOTHING!

Well your wedding party has no job to do other than show up at the wedding and stand beside you. That is their only duty. I am not sure what you expect a fulltime student to be able to do.

She paid for her dress that is her job.

Um - sorry she isn't around

but anyone in the BP doesn't have to do anything - they just have to turn up nothing more, nothing less.

It aint a 'job'

Did she offer to throw you a shower, or was it assumed that was one of her responsibilities? She isn't required to actually DO anything except buy a dress/shoes/hair etc.

As far as etiquette goes, anyone other than the brider and her mother can throw a shower.

Okay, well proper etiquette states that your MOH or BM throw you a shower. My cousin has 3 sister in which are all married and there MOH did it for them. THIS IS NOT MY MOTHERS RESPONSIBILITY. But my mom feels bad that she hasnt stepped up to the plate.

My cousin is 18 (19, maybe?) and she hasn't been involved too much. She is my maid of honor because she's practically my sister. I'm really fine with that, as I like to do everything my self anyway...BUT a lot of things I'd like a little more input but, what can you do.

And to add to other responses, she's not even responsible for even checking your dress much less anything regarding lodging for anyone except herself. All they really have to do is buy the fees and show up. It sucks bc we do hope our friends would be willing or excited bout helping us plan. But that's not always the case.

One FYI, I'd NOT acknowledge her at the shower nor would I say she hosted it or even helped.

Thank you Amy! I totally agree. She has been my best friend forever. We grew up dreaming about this day and she hasnt even text me to see how its going or to see if I need anything!

She should be "helping." But helping doesn't necessarily mean dish out a bunch of money. She obviously is not financially able to anyhow, she is a collage student. You should have not expected anything monetary from her from the get go. But being there for you with planning details is different. She should be offering you more help in that department. Where I am from the mom or aunts of the bride throw the shower. I have never been to a shower where the MOH threw it.

Dude. Stop yelling.

@Lauren - I think the etiquette is that they throw the shower for you (instead of you throwing one for yourself), not they have to throw you a shower.

But seriously, like the other ladies have said, although it would be nice and much appreciated if MOH and BM did some work and threw some parties, it isn't mandatory. Their only responsibility is to show up day-of.

I never said I'm asking her to fork out any large amount of money. I'm asking for her to help and/or at least ask if there is anything she could do. I understand she is in college but knowing that she cares would be nice

Maybe if you ask her for help with a specific task she would be willing to help. I know that when I was in college, I had no idea what a maid of honor was suppose to do. Luckily (or unluckily?), my sister let me know exactly what my job was - initiate bridal shower planning/ splitting shower costs with the other bridesmaids, showing up, buying my shoes, dress...haha. She did make it easy for me by explaining what I should be doing.

Amy, I guess thats what I'm seeing. I have been to a tons of showers and every one of them was hosted by the MOH or BM. Or they at least hand a hand in it. Where I'm from that's proper etiquette.

"She hasnt spent dime on ANYTHING."

"Also, I have had to plan and pay for the night before the wedding hotel reservations because she surely didnt do it."

"Might I add that they have ONLY paid for their dresses. I have paid for EVERYTHING else."

You sure sound like in your original post that you were asking people to fork out money...

The Flower Lab, I just don't want her to get offended. I might add that my sister in law (who is in the wedding) talked to her and asked if the BM's and her should get something together... and she got no response

I agree that as the MOH it is kinda expected to plan some kind of celebration whether it's a shower or a bachelorette party. But it's exactly what Rev Ann said. She's in college and 7 hours away. And to be honest, your wedding isn't at the top of her priority list. No one is going to care as much about your wedding details as you are. Maybe have your bridesmaids contact her and see if she's thinking of anything? And if not, then have someone else step up. If you feel bad about your parents fronting the cash, then don't let them.

I'm not sure what other things they are supposed to pay for other than their own attire?

I suggest you pick up the phone and see if she's thinking of anything. If not, then maybe she's just not ready to be a maid of honor. I know I wasn't in that mindset when I was in college nor have I been to too many showers so I wouldn't know what etiquette required of me.

Future Mrs Caracciolo, where in that did I say she had to spend a ton of money? I didn't. I'm simply saying that she has done nothing and that it has all come back on me

Your wedding will be the biggest thing that happens to you this year. It won't be the biggest thing that happens to your MOH (or anyone else, really, aside from your FH and maybe the parents). She's probably got her plate full with school and eeekk summer classes. I know it would be ideal if she would give you a call and ask you what you need but that doesn't seem to be her reality right now. Instead, why don't you ask her to help you with specific tasks?

Thank you Amy, I think you and I are on the same page. I'm not asking her to go above and beyond. I'm asking for some input, a phone call, or just to see if I need any help. I'm not asking for anything extreme.

I completely understand. My sister could boss me around because she has always done so. haha that's what big sisters do. I'd just maybe ask her to help with a specific task- or see what she would like to do. Maybe she can design the shower invites? Chances are she would be happy to help with something but doesn't know what she can do from afar.