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Beginner March 2018

He doesn't feel "ready" anymore

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Kenna, on July 28, 2017 at 2:17 PM

My fiance and I have been together for 2 years. Before we got engaged we talked about marriage a lot and he was always hesitant. I dropped the topic for about 6 months and then he brought it up and said he was ready I asked him over and over to make sure because I had a best friend who got engaged and her fiance left her and I didn't want that to happen to me. He said he was sure and we went ring shopping. During this time he changed hid mind about getting married once, then he said he was ready again and we picked one out. He assured me this time it was what he really wanted and he's ready. So we got engaged! I was thrilled! Until i noticed he didn't want to talk about it or answer questions when friends and family asked. He also didnt seem very excited when people asked if he was. He now has changed his mind again and says he's not ready. I don't know what to do. I feel very confused and hurt. How do I respect myself and my relationship when I feel he's taking me for granted?

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VIP May 2018
FutureMrsR · on July 30, 2017 at 11:13 AM
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@2ndtime Um I don't think choosing not to buy a car after "thinking about it" shows lack of commitment. Maybe not following through on plans, but jeez.
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Devoted October 2017
Meghan · on July 30, 2017 at 11:13 AM
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Sorry if this comes off rude but I don't think he will ever be ready if he keeps pushing it off like this. I would suggest counseling but sounds to me like he doesn't know what he wants and you don't need to constantly fear he's going to change his mind. Plus you don't live together. Having a sleepover every night or other night is not living together. I wish you the best but you don't deserve to be given the run around!
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Devoted August 2017
SoonToBeAWitherspoon · on July 30, 2017 at 11:47 AM
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Sorry to hear that, well couples counseling would be the best thing to do, but don't test him about making the appointment. Make it and go, from there see how everything goes. Also don't let people try to tell you 2 years of being together and getting engaged is to short because I've known plenty of people who got married within 8 months of dating or 1 year and it worked out, everyone's relationship is different and are not on the same pace.
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VIP May 2017
New · on July 30, 2017 at 11:49 AM
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Has OP come back to update what she decided to do? Just curious and hope she can get this resolved.
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