He doesn't feel "ready" anymore

When it comes to marriage, it's either "fuck yes" or "no." Not "one day," not "maybe next year," not "hmm perhaps today." Nope.

Definitely a red flag if he's being wishy-washy about committing AND he isn't committed to counseling. It's one thing to say "hey, we need to wait a year so we can afford the wedding we want" and "Mmm, not sure about this."

Either you're 100% in, or you're out.

I have so many questions.

Is he actively having conversations with you about this? What exactly are his reasons for not being ready? How does he feel about all of this?

If he's not openly communicating with you, I think that's something that needs to be fixed ASAP.

How old are you OP? Do you guys live together?

I agree with Sarah M. two years isn't long enough to actually know someone to some people.

I would leave, tbh.

I'm 22 and he's 25. He's done with school and steady in his career and I will be done with schopl shortly before our planned date. We're young and I know everyone has their opinions on age

We don't currently live together. That was something we both agreed on, we wanted to wait until marriage. Although he lives closer to my school and work so I stay with him almost every night and if I don't stay with him he stays with me

I say wait, get your counseling and go from there. I think you both are young and have plenty of time.

OP , How old r u ?

I don't know if he isn't worth it, maybe he truly isn't ready. Although IDK why he asked if he wasn't ready. But I would just take a step back, not plan a wedding, and spend time working on your relationship. Then start planning the wedding when you both are ready. Best of luck!

Courtney- She just said she's 22 and he's 25.

Definitely put things on hold.. most venues will give the deposit back if you have enough time or if they can find someone else to fill the spot.

They'll often offer to let you postpone if they won't give the deposit back

It took my FH 4.5 years to propose to me. He was "never ready" either and we had a lot of heart-to-hearts about it. We moved in together after 3 years together and lived together for 1.5 years before he proposed. I'm glad he waited until he really felt like he was ready. I knew he loved me and wanted to be with me, but he just needed to figure it all out for himself and get things "done" (like graduate school, a steady career, etc.) before he was ready. We're both older now -- 26 and 29 -- and have a much better perspective on life, careers, what we want, etc. then we did when we were only two years in.

I'd go to counseling, put on a hold on the planning, and just wait it out. If he really loves you and wants to be with you, give him more time. But DO NOT let him continue to yo-yo you around. There's a difference between being truly not ready and needing more time, and being immature and playing with people's feelings. You need to figure out which one it is and move forward from there.

If he's being immature, then I'd let him go. You don't want to deal with this your whole life, and esp not when you get pregnant.

I think you should contact the venue and cancel. Hopefully your deposit, or a portion of it can be refunded. I would also suggest counseling. It doesn't matter who makes the appointment. If you love this person and want to spend your life with them, make the appointment. Even if it doesn't work out, you'll know you tried. Maybe he needs more time before he can commit. Maybe it's not what he wants at this point in his life. Counseling won't change his mind but it will give you a better understanding of what's going on.

Get counseling, just call yourself. Don't make it a battle about who calls if you want this relationship to move forward.

Definitely get your deposit back. Believe what he is telling you here.

If you really love him give him the time he needs or you might just push him away. 2 years of dating especially in your early 20s isn't all that long honestly. You might want to rethink the living together first for at least a year. Consider at least postponing the wedding for an additional year as well

My FH said he didn't feel "ready" until after I moved in with him. Then he knew for sure. Living together is different! We've been together for 9.5 years and lived together for 2 years.

He proposed 1.5 years after I moved in

Sorry to say this but If you're really interested in respecting yourself, I'd move on and get individual counseling.

Believe the cards he is showing you.

He's 25, I am not surprised that he's not ready. If you love being with him and you have a happy, healthy relationship, then drop the marriage conversation and give it more time. Enjoy life as twenty-somethings. Hang out with your friends, travel, focus on your careers. Maybe in a few years marriage will be a lot more appealing to him and you'll be more established as a couple. Won't it be so much better of an experience when you both whole-heartedly want it?

He is wrong to jerk you around like this. But I wouldn't be "ready" to marry a part-time girlfriend, either. If you really want to be together, move in with him after you finish school. After a year of real partnership you can revisit the marriage topic. You don't really know someone well enough to even contemplate marriage until you have truly lived as adults and partners. After-school sleepovers don't count.