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M
Master November 2010

Has anyone lost a friendship during their wedding planning?

Mrs. Turner2B, on June 30, 2010 at 5:18 PM Posted in Planning 0 40

I finally decided that the person who is supposed to be my BFF isn't really. I was going to ride it out and invite her and her sister whom I was also freinds with to my wedding but I decided to just remove them from my facebook and that should tell them they're not invited to the wedding and so that's what I did today. Deleted them on FB. And you know what? I feel great! They were barely there for me..I haven't heard from either in over a month since they missed my engagement party. It would be awkward to have them at my wedding. Anyone else lose a friendship and do you feel okay about it?

40 Comments

Latest activity by Nicole, on August 8, 2021 at 2:28 PM
  • K
    VIP October 2011
    Krystal ·
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    I feel like I'm going to lose a friend - I wanted her to be my MOH but she's not acting interested at all and hardly talks to me anymore. I think I'm going to invite her but I dunno about her being in the wedding party.

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  • Meghan
    Master August 2011
    Meghan ·
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    I lost a friendship when my friend got married. She went all sorts of bridezilla! About 6 months after the wedding, we became friends again, but she never really apologized for anything, even after I apologized for the things I had done wrong.

    We have since had another split, and I haven't looked back. Her friendship was toxic and I am so much happier without her in my life.

    Hopefully, you can look back and not have any regrets on your decision. But you do owe it to her to tell her that the friendship is over.

    And ask yourself why you're removing them from your life. You say they were barely there for you, but make sure your demands were reasonable. People have other things in their lives then being at your beck and call. I'm not saying you were demanding- because I don't know. But you should objectively ask yourself if you were asking too much of them. They missed an engagement party- so what! That isn't the end of the world.

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  • Almost Mrs. Smith
    Super January 2011
    Almost Mrs. Smith ·
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    I did during the planning of my last wedding. My friend Sarah was gonna be my MOH, and she decided she hated my ex FH (for good reason, turns out) So I kicked her out of my wedding, and we didn't talk for several months, then slowly started talking and now we're BFF again. We've survived a lot, and now she's my MOH this time too. Smiley smile

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  • Laura
    Master May 2009
    Laura ·
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    I lost a best friend by the end of my wedding...looking back I wish I had ended it leading up to the wedding to save myself a lot of grief....weddings bring out the best and the worst in people and you find out who are you woth keeping in your life

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  • K
    Master October 2011
    Kiss My ·
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    I am actually keeping friends out of the planning so I don't lose any seeing how I have very few I can call friends. My mother and I are doing most of the planning with some help from FS. Smiley smile

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  • Not-A-Bridezilla
    Master May 2010
    Not-A-Bridezilla ·
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    I kinda did..we're still FB friends though. Honestly, I think it had more to do with other things than the wedding. She was really sweet, and would make a good friend to someone else, but we just wanted different things out of life. She is a stay-at-home mom with a boyfriend (who she calls her DH) who in my opinion, doesn't do enough for his family. She had her first baby at 19, dropped out of school, moved in with he and his mother, and deliberately planned their second child. I went to college while being madly in love with my DH, knew we needed to at least wait until I finished my degree before having children. She was going to be in my wedding party, but I removed her because I genuinely didn't want to put her in the position of paying to get here. She said she could save the money, but I wasn't going to be responsible for her taking away hundreds of dollars that could be spent on her kids. And I couldn't afford to pay for her to come. So yeah.. we rarely FB message each other

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  • Not-A-Bridezilla
    Master May 2010
    Not-A-Bridezilla ·
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    Anymore. That's why I say you can take a friend out of your wedding party, but don't ever take a family (or your soon-to-be-inlaws) out of your wedding party. Not a smart decision

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  • Duskie
    Devoted August 2010
    Duskie ·
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    Isn't is amazing what a wedding will do to people?

    I had a really close friend. The kind where I know her whole family and she knew mine.

    Her wedding is July 31. Mine is August 7th. This is our 3rd time around trying to do this wedding. Mine was set long before hers.

    When she got engaged she told me that although she wanted me for her MOH she decided against it cause I was also having a wedding. That was fine with me. I wouldn't have done it anyway. (one wedding to deal with is enough!)

    Her mom invited me to the bridal party, but my 'friend' called and said I was uninvited because the place they were having it was full and they had to cut people. That's fine. She has a large family and so does her FH. Well, she just called lastnight and told me not to come to the wedding because they were doing alot of different things and she didn't want me to steal her ideas, but I can stop by the reception to drop off the present, but I can't stay because she doesn't want me to see....

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  • Duskie
    Devoted August 2010
    Duskie ·
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    Their surprise for their guest nor does she want me to see her cake! First... like I give a crap, second, my wedding is already planned! She's a bridzilla, I'm not.

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  • J
    Expert December 2011
    jersey bride ·
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    2...one was asked to be my bm and ever since then(she said yes with a million =) back) she hasn't come to anything...our e party is a few weeks i hope she takes the hint that she is no longer wanted and just doesn't show...we uused to talk all the time but she broke up with her cop bf (same job as fs) and since then she is so negative about fs job and barly said a word to me in 3 weeks....the other one was just a friend not in the wedding party but is good friends with us and my moh and her husband and she decided to have her wedding a week after mine! wtf? really? she knows she is being invited to mine and my moh and her husband will be at my dw that week...maybe its done so we dnt get invited anyway

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  • MrsDevine
    Master August 2010
    MrsDevine ·
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    Yes. i had a horrible falling out with my best friend about a year ago. i think she was just jealous that im getting married and shes not. but we had this huge fight and i basically told her to go f herself, and we havent been the same since. (which is big cuz i dont curse EVER and weve been friends since 4th grade) she was also going to be my moh. i hadnt asked her yet, and im actually really happy it turned out that way cuz ive since realised that she was never ever there for me. and my moh now, has been too great and i know my ex-friend wouldnt have done anything. well probably hang out again eventually, but shes not invited to the wedding, and well never be as close as we once were.

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  • MrsDevine
    Master August 2010
    MrsDevine ·
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    @ duskie, she really told you your not invited but you can stop by to drop off the gift? WOW. thats all im gonna say. WOW

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  • W
    Master June 2010
    wowjunkie ·
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    My sister decided to basically sever ties with my family because of my wedding. She thinks that mom and dad treat me better than her because they paid for part of my wedding and they're paying for my bachelor's degree. She was offered the same when it was her time, and didn't take them up on the college offer, and her engagement fell through. Now that she's 35 and wants to go to school my parents won't pay because she's been on her own for over a decade now. She refused to come to my wedding, which didn't bother me, but bothered my dad (she's a half and we share a father) and she called my grandfather (mom's dad) on Father's Day when Dad was over there visiting, but refused to speak to Dad or call him herself. I'm sad she decided to do this, but I'm more sad for my dad - he really hoped we'd develop a relationship once we both were older and had more in common, but at 21 I'm beating her in the "Mature Adult" game - live on my own, married, supporting myself for the most part (parents..

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  • J
    Super September 2011
    Jen ·
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    Duskie...That girl is certainly noone I would call a friend! Sheesh! How ridiculous!!!

    I have a friend that I've had kind of a rocky relationship with for awhile...I feel like our friendship has always been very one-sided...so of course when we set the date I called her super excited..and she was pretty much a buzz kill. We have discussed my wedding in the past and had discussed her being a bridesmaid. But once the date was set I was having serious second thoughts, and was really thinking I would be making a bad choice. Well while I was trying to decide if I really wanted her as a bridesmaid or not she posts a stupid survey on Myspace....so I go ahead and read it. One of the questions: Have you ever been a bridesmaid or groomsmen? Her answer: No, and I'd like to keep it that way!!! Well ok then. Thank you very much for making that decision easy for me!

    There's a lot of other crap involved in it, but I'm just sick of having a friend who only calls me when she pity.

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  • W
    Master June 2010
    wowjunkie ·
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    Still pay school related expenses) all of things she is jealous of and doesn't do. She stopped talking to me over a year ago because she was mad I wouldn't drive 2 hours to go dress shopping with her, let alone plan the wedding for where she lived at, instead of where DS and I live. Dad tried to get me to apologize for a long time and I told him that I don't think that's wrong of me and he agreed, he just wanted us to get along and thought that would fix it, but she soon turned on my parents, too, and Dad put his foot down that she can't talk about me in the manner that she was, nor to him like that. So yeah, back to being an only child.

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  • Steppy
    Super September 2011
    Steppy ·
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    I lost two friends. One was because I didn't tell her the very second we had booked the wedding and the other was because she convinced herself I was lying to FS when I wasnt. But I've got the real bfffs at my side now and I wouldnt trade them for the world.

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  • JustforLove
    Devoted February 2020
    JustforLove ·
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    I have lost 1 - not really because of the wedding, but other things. wierd cause she said anyone she has ever been in their wedding, she is not friends with anymore... i told her that wouldnt happen to us, and now we dont even speak. next person should really listen to her ;o) and i believe my FS is about to loose a couple of friends of his. a lot of rediculous drama going on... but it is so true, you really find out about people when u get married...

    but what perfect timing to do a little spring cleaning right b4 your wedding, get off to a fresh start with people you want in your life. crazy world!

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  • Duskie
    Devoted August 2010
    Duskie ·
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    Yep. She still wanted her present. Needless to say I took it back and went and got me a strapless bra for my own wedding!

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  • Amie326 - formally known as"."
    Super March 2011
    Amie326 - formally known as"." ·
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    Ive lost a friend because she was upset that her boyfriend didnt pop the question before mine did. Needless to say she couldnt be around the planning without cause drama. I also lost the relationship with my sister (which has always been rocky). I just didnt feel like dealing with dramatic people, its suppose to be a happy time.

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  • Brit♥Nhe
    Super September 2010
    Brit♥Nhe ·
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    I lost my longest "friend" who was supposed to be my MOH and a BFF. I posted about it too. You really realize who cares and who doesn't when your in need of them during your wedding planning, it's crazy. I haven't talked to her in gosh weeks? a month? and honestly, the only difference is I dont have to hear her complain lol.

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