Guests that didn't give a gift

The one person (besides fh, my dad, and kids) that I truely want at my wedding is my sister(the one who is really sick). I know my family is giving us a honeymoon, and yeah, it's great, and apprecieated. One friend asked me the other day, "What do I need to bring for your gift?" I told her, "nothing, just come and have fun and celebrate our love and union". That's all we want. We do not expect gifts or money or cards, or even a honeymoon. We just want all our friends and families there to share in our day. Yeah, we have spent a crap load of money on our wedding, money we didn't really have to spend. We have made sacrifices and arranged our budget at home to be able to get married in a decent ceremony. I understand that giving a gift is proper manners, but to expect it from the guest is, I don't know, to me it's wrong to EXPECT it, and then be upset b/c they didn't bring a gift or card. It's about the LOVE, the UNION, and the CELEBRATION of getting married.

I dont get what the big deal is. the economy sucks, everyones broke, and the point of getting married is to be joined with someone you wanna spend the rest of your life with. its not about gifts. thats like saying christmas was founded on giving people stuff. i set up one registry for close family thats gonna get us something no matter what, but im not gonna EXPECT a gift from anyone

What happened is we had one gift with no card on it. So we went through our list to try and figure out who it could be from. That is when we noticed who did not bring something. Presents are not that big a deal. And some people I'm glad they didn't bring something because I know they cannot afford it. When I noticed certain people who didn't bring at least a card I was hurt. I TOTALLY agree with Ms. Brown! I invited these people because I love them. I expect them to feel the same and feel they want to share their appreciation with the new happy couple. A card. Something. So I didn't go looking for who didn't bring something. I was just trying to figure out who gave us that egg platter! (which ended up to be someone who had already gave us like 5 things! lol)

Like i said in the beginning, i feel you 100%. i believe its common curtisy. its fine Mrs. Potter. im with you on this.

how many of you would ever go to a wedding and NOT bring a gift or even a simple card? would you not feel rude for doing that? so then why is are brides not allowed to feel the slightest bit hurt for not even recieving a card??

A card is the only way to express a sentiment? Why is the .99 c card any more valid than walking up to someone and expressing your congratulations and spending a few minutes at the least speaking with someone? Why is it more meaningful when its store-bought?

Because not everyone gets to walk up to you on the big day. There are lots of people and lots going on. I probably only had a chance to talk to about half the people there.

Mrs. Potters...I'm with you 100%. Although we had a DIY wedding because our budget wasn't so big (damned economy), we still had a really nice wedding which included FREE good food, and FREE alcohol in a really nice venue. It shouldn't really matter how much you spend on your wedding, there should be a giving of gifts. Not only is it poor etiquette it's rude not too.

Even when you are invited to somoneone's home for a dinner party/cook out or what have you, you should always bring a gift to the host/hostess (bottle of wine,small side dish, etc.). If someone gives you an invite especially a formal one then the gift should match the event.Times are hard for EVERYONE, but even a card with $10 and good wishes has good intentions to say the least. Maybe it's just upbringing.

But my grammy didn't raise me that way. You never come to an event you have been invited to "empty handed".

Well a gift is not manditory....its nice but at least they were there to share your day with you.

July bride. that is a nice idea thanking them just for coming. I am not even going to register any place. The people who know me and FH know that a donation would be better in our name to someone that needs it more. If we wanted something or needed it we could get it. (if you have been married before, how many times have you use the crystal pitcher and bowl set -example only). So much goes into gifts that most of the time people don't use them anyways.)

I was very upset when I received no gift are card from a good friend. I emailed her to see if it was lost just to make sure.

I feel you completely Mrs. Potter!! I had the same thing happen... there were QUITE a few people that gave NOTHING ... no card.. or anything. TO me it is common courtesy if you're not bringing a gift than you cover enough for what you cost. Like for a distant friends wedding... I give at least $50 a person in a card. People saying "my guests were my gifts". It's not that we're ungrateful... it is common courtesy to AT LEAST give a congratulations after all you had free dinner... alchohol... and a nice party

I can't believe how cheap people are. I would never go to a wedding and not bring a gift. Nor would I go to someone's house and not bring the host or hostess a gift. It is common courtesy. I had 6 people out of 16 guests come to my wedding and leave basically nothing. They were not poor and had good jobs. What they were was rude. I didn't get married for gifts nor did I get married to have rude freeloaders show up and take advantage of me. They basically came, ate and left. It was rude and I am a man.

Free dinner, free alcohol, and a nice party aside, it is simply poor etiquette to show up empty handed to a wedding or neglect to send a card or gift. I understand that every guest's situation is different and certainly didn't expect lavish presents from everyone who received an invitation, but even just a card with a heartfelt note is incredibly meaningful and appropriate. I personally would be very embarrassed to come to a wedding without sending the bride and groom a gift, big or small.

I had a few people show empty handed. I guess that was better than the 7 couples that cancelled days before my wedding. So in reality, it could be worse! At least people cared to travel for us. I know some people just come for a good time but hopefully it was more than that. If you truly feel like people were just free-loading then now you know who they really are. ;-) I know it shouldnt be about the gifts, but I never go to a celebration without one- you only hope for the same.

But it eats me not to ask those people what happened...But that would be just as tacky lol

I don't care who says what. you go to a wedding you give a gift even if it's small! My wedding was Saturday, all of our supposed "friends" replied and never showed. With emails the next day that they fell out from Friday night when they went out.The few who did come about eight couples.Even our small wedding party did not give us gifts at all. No one had to buy anything we let even our wedding party wear something they already had,(not even clothes). Pay expenses everyone lives 5 min. away or less.His sister and my own mother didn't even give a gift.No one paid for our wedding we did our selves,and no one held a bridal shower or anything before hand.

So yes we are angry with everyone, because we are on hard times also,but we are always the ones that were there when you called or had to borrow and never pay back. We will never do anything for anyone again. It's bad when you do get a card that says place gift card here and there is no gift card.

Trust me I know I sound selfish but really it's the thought that would have counted, no matter how little or small.

I was a bridesmaid in a one of my best friend's weddings. I and my family gave her lovely and expensive shower and wedding gifts from her registries. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding and her family attended as well. They didn't give us a card or a gift. They are well-off. I think it is possible that they forgot to give us something. Is there a tactful way to bring this up considering this is a friend of over 12 years? I don't know whether to ask if something got lost. Has anyone ever done that? This is not make or break--like others have said-- about 20 guests out of 114 did not give us a gift either, but in the case of my bfriend/bridesmaid, it does hurt.

I was a bridesmaid in a one of my best friend's weddings. I and my family gave her lovely and expensive shower and wedding gifts from her registries. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding and her family attended as well. They didn't give us a card or a gift. They are well-off. I think it is possible that they forgot to give us something. Is there a tactful way to bring this up considering this is a friend of over 12 years? I don't know whether to ask if something got lost. Has anyone ever done that? This is not make or break--like others have said-- about 20 guests out of 114 did not give us a gift either, but in the case of my bfriend/bridesmaid, it does hurt.

I think it is tacky to show up at someones wedding without at least a card to wish the couple blessings. We had several family and friends show up to our wedding with nothing in hand. It appears as though they just showed up for free food and alcohol!

Very low class, no matter what the economy!

I am NOT sending thank you cards to people who gave nothing. Our wedding was right in the city, nobody had to travel except for a few close friends and family (all who gave gifts) and we had 3 parties with hours and hours of open bar and a banquet that cost $100 per person just for the food, plus a variety of live entertainment. I would never, ever show up at a wedding empty handed but it is a choice to send gifts before or after. I've always heard that you have a year to give a gift, but that seems ridiculous. If they haven't given you a gift after a few months they most likely are not going to. My wedding was less than a month ago and some gifts are trickling in, so I'm sending thank you cards as the gifts arrive. Everyone who gave a gift on the wedding day got a card very soon after. Our cards were custom made and I really don't think anyone who's rude enough to come without giving a gift deserves one.