Guests not bringing cards...and slight vent?

I would be upset about the cards because I want to make a book of all of the cards we get. As for the gifts themselves I don't care too much. The wine, I would let people take some but ask first!!

ETA: I NEVER buy cards for people because I think they are a waste and will just go in the trash, but I always get a nice one for weddings since people usually keep them.

I'm going to skip the gift discussion and focus on the wine. Maybe your friends were a little drunk due to your awesome party and got a little silly at your expense. I'd let it go, unless you start noticing other personal items missing.

What were you planning to do with the wine after if they didn't take it? I would hope people would ask to take it, but I don't think I would mind.

Also, I'm sending thank you's to everyone because everyone had to travel

I'm one of those people who just don't understand cards. They cost like $5. To me, my guests traveling and celebrating with me means way more than a few lines written in a card. But even I still make sure to get a card for every wedding I'm invited to.

The wine thing is weird. Were these like bottles you had purchased already? Was there a bar? Did the bartender like tell them they could or something? Depending on how pissed off you are, you could always ask to be reimbursed. Especially if the winery was going to buy back unopened bottles or something.

I am with KM, i am sending everyone that goes to the wedding thank yous.

Who the hell steals wine from a wedding? Unless they asked you if it was ok, it is completely shitty on their part.

Send them a bill.

Was it a large enough group of missing envelopes that maybe a handful were stolen? Is there anyone who absolutely should have sent you a card? Like, my cousin's wedding cards were stolen and he knew some people would have brought a gift (and his mom discreetly asked around to confirm).

So I am very confused about the wine. I hope you weren't paying by consumption. If so that stinks. Either way, taking wine bottles is not appropriate.

As for the cards, I suggest you just move on. What is important is you got cards for people who thought to give them to you.

I'd be more butt hurt about all the missing wine

I've never given a card at a wedding, but I do always send a gift! I mean, I get being upset about not getting anything at all. It doesn't have to be a big thing, just something to show you care. Maybe you had a lot of younger guests that didn't know better? And I actually understand the bridal party not giving gifts if they had to shell out money to participate and put in "work". Stealing wine though?? The worst. Cut them.

I'm jumping on the Confused by Wine Theft train... How did they even get it? I also had the thought that maybe they thought it'd go to waste, as in, it's already been paid for and they didn't want the venue to keep it? I know that sounds stupid, but it might be a drunken thought I'd have. Would you have been able to keep the wine had they not taken it? It was bold to post it on FB!

I don't expect gifts, no shower, no registry. But I think I would mentally pause if at least a card wasn't given. Hell, I'd be good with a piece of personal stationary from the dollar store saying contrats to you both, thanks for inviting us.....something. I would consider it rude on the guests part.

I get your frustration with the lack of cards from close friends, especially if I assume that because they were considered close friends, you had been to their showers, weddings, baby showers, Christenings, kids' birthday parties yadda yadda yadda.... and had brought cards/gifts to all of them. It hurts when your friends don't give you the same consideration you have given them.

I shouldn't expect any money, gifts or cards but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be disappointed if I didn't get one of the three. It just seems like common courtesy. I don't show up to any event be it shower, birthday party, housewarming without something. Yet, if all the people who didn't get you a card went to your bridal shower and got you something I would say that's acceptable. Or, if they are younger guests they may just not know any better. Looking back at some weddings I attended in my early twenties I feel guilty because I don't think I always thought to bring something.

Now the wine thing seems ridiculous. You should probably ask how they got their hands on it and if you can have the rest.

Ok, that is kind of weird about the wine, but they probably didn't do it to intentionally offend you.

As for the gift/card, I honestly do find it strange when people don't leave even a card (not cash, just a card with some kind words). I wouldn't get to held up on this though. We had a couple friends (not many) that didn't bring anything, and I didn't really think too much about it. Sometimes friendship just matters more than those things. It's fine or whatever to vent, it might not go well on WW, but in the end don't fixate on this type of thing...

We had at least 3 people forget to give us the cards and mailed them to the house instead. I also did the spreadsheet to keep track to ensure I got a thank you card to everyone who attended.

Speaking..i have to start writing the thank you cards..they are all addressed and stamped.

So this popped up on OBB today, I think this is a great way to handle it!

Http://offbeatbride.com/2013/06/wedding-gift-etiquette

I don't think you sound entitled. It is a breach of etiquette for them not to give a gift. They don't HAVE to, just like you don't HAVE to give certain people a plus one. Just like you SHOULDN'T put registry info on your invite. Just like you CAN'T throw yourself a shower. Of course you COULD do all those things, but you know better and have good manners. They don't HAVE to give a gift, but it's pretty poor form to show to a wedding and give nothing. It's disappointing when people you care about and invite to share such a special occasion don't respect you enough to hold up their end of the social contract.

We had a few people that did not even give a card. His parents being included! WTF? Yes MIL helped with pew bows and flower girl basket, but honestly that was it. I did get a nice shower gift from her, so maybe it was for both. Won't ask them, don't care.