Guests not bringing cards...and slight vent?

I don't think anyone brought a card if they didn't bring a gift. Most people brought gifts of some type, unless they did something as their gift (played music at our reception, ran the photobooth, did the video of the ceremony, helped decorate). But with the few who didn't, our attitude was that we invited them because we wanted their company. Thus, we'd rather have them there without a gift than have them stay away because they didn't have a gift for us.

I don't think anyone brought a card if they didn't bring a gift. Most people brought gifts of some type, unless they did something as their gift (played music at our reception, ran the photobooth, did the video of the ceremony, helped decorate). But with the few who didn't, our attitude was that we invited them because we wanted their company. Thus, we'd rather have them there without a gift than have them stay away because they didn't have a gift for us.

We didn't get a card or gift from one of DH groomsman and two of his friends who he drove up to CT from NY. They didn't chip in for gas, tolls or the hotel room that we had to pay for. I was a little annoyed that they didn't even give at least a card. So rude considering it was our wedding and we had to pay everything for them. It felt like we owed them something for making the trip.

I was a little hurt too, by one guest but he did more than not leave a card. He showed up late to the church AND reception immediately following (he stopped for Clams....). Not everyone had been through the buffet line and we were STILL eating and he came to say good bye to us. He also brought a date when he RSVP for just 1(Husband called and verified it would be just one. When he showed up, he told my husband his invite said "Plus one" So we accommodated). Not that it matters how much a person makes, but he makes well over $100k/year and he lives 3 minutes from the church. He was my husband's roommate before we moved in together and he still feel slighted. I just wish he would have said he couldn't go...

Now my cousin and her husband are 25- she is in the middle of her master's program and pregnant. She made me a handmade card with $5 in it. I will save that card forever. I cried when I opened it. It's not about the dollar amount. It's truly the thought

I always send a gift off the registry beforehand but I don't then bring a card to the wedding. I didn't know that was a thing. Everyone that is coming to our wedding is traveling in some way, some from very far. I love presents but if people don't get us anything, I get it. I'm putting out a card thing at our wedding because I was told I'm supposed to, but I'll be pretty surprised if there's anything in it at the end of the night lol.

I mean, isn't it the thought that counts? The fact that they "THOUGHT" they can come to the wedding for free booze and food and not as so much leave a card would leave a bad taste in my mouth too.

I think taking the wine without asking is uncalled for a childish. That is no different from a wedding I went to where the aunt of the groom went table to table and told people to take the centerpieces. Many people did before the night was over and as it turned out the bride absolutely did NOT want the centerpieces going anywhere. The aunt's reasoning, they were real flowers that "would be dead tomorrow" so guests might as well take them. They were $300 a piece rose towers...

I cannot imagine attending a wedding without a gift. I generally send something even if I don't attend if I have any kind of relationship with the couple.

Janeens first comment stole the words right out of my mouth. I worry that it got lost in the mix and then I didn't send a thank you card to them. Will they think I'm rude? It's embarrassing to ask so I never would. I dunno I think it's rude. I would never go to a wedding and not send something. People that didn't go, that I don't even know (dads friends, I met when I was very young) even sent money and a card when they declined. I think the most annoying part of it is when you have given to them and while I don't expect anything in return when I give, it's just kind of rude.

I'm actually having the opposite "issue." I have been receiving gifts from people who are not invited to the wedding. (They know they are not invited.) I feel so awkward about it, but also so grateful and overwhelmed that people are so happy for me they want to give me a gift no matter what. My challenge is in writing the thank-you note to say how grateful I am without referring to the actual wedding event. I have found over time that keeping score with generosity can be harmful to your being. Best to live in a state of gratitude and enjoy all the riches that you have.

Im going to be honest, on more than one occasion ive had such a hectic schedule or just so focused on something else that i turn up at a wedding empty handed, no card, nothing. it happens, i expect nothing at my wedding because people have lives, and those lives dont revolve around my wedding. i chose to get married, i chose to invite them and ill just be grateful that they come to party with me. i think throughout the years, the wedding industry has built this sense of entitlement into brides and you have to realize, they came to celebrate with you, thats a gift enough. ya, some of us forget to pick up cards, you know what? you dont know our schedules or how busy our lives can be day by day....but the fact that we found time off from our rat race to come see you get married should be enough.

My parents delivered the cards the next day and they said something. I had 10 friends go in together on a 50 dollar vase (who all brought dates) which made me chuckle.

None of my bridesmaids got me a gift, which was kind of surprising after how little i asked them to pay. None of my teammates who were still in college got me anything, which i expected. And my older teammates all did. My family all got me cards/cash, and none of my husband 's family got me a card- but they're southern i wouldn't be surprised if they got boxed gifts.

I had about 200 people come, probably 80 families/solos, and about 20 cards. Remember, even if you have 80 people, if 5 of them are 4 person families that's 20 people but only 5 cards! If everyone had a plus one after that, that's only 30 cards, so 35 for 80 people isnt too crazy of a stretch.

I agree, I would definitely be irritated. It's not that you're asking for gifts, but if they were invited to a party, for which you paid for them, it's common curtesy to bring a gift.

I agree, I would definitely be irritated. It's not that you're asking for gifts, but if they were invited to a party, for which you paid for them, it's common curtesy to bring a gift.

I totally get it. We don't expect everyone to bring a gift but a card congratulating us would be great. I would be a little hurt if they can't even pick up a 5 dollar card at Walgreens on the way to the wedding. To me that's just common courtesy.

The only lack of gift that has annoyed me my best man. I hit the 1 year mark 2 weeks ago and I can't tell you how many "oh my god its been a year and we haven't gotten you your gift yet" messages we got. But we also didn't expect anything and got alot.

I don't think you sound "entitled" in the least! It's pure etiquette to give a gift or card of any kind for attending a wedding. It might not be "expected" but it's a customary and right thing to do. Honestly, I just think it's cheap if you don't. No, you can't expect everyone to shower you with lots of money, but a guest should give you at least a card if nothing else. Honestly, that's just tacky. I went to a wedding last summer. The couple was over 50 years old, both owned their own homes and the groom was on his third marriage. Did I think I "needed" to give them $100? No. Would I have given more if it weren't at a community center and they were a younger couple just starting out? Yes. Did I still give them $100? Yes. It's just customary and it's the right thing to do. You should be shocked and while some brides disagree, I don't think you're being snobby, ungrateful or entitled. I would be just as upset if I were in your shoes.

On my first marriage, my friend came up to me at the reception and said. Im sorry we are in a pinch and we could only put $20 in the card... she looked upset....I hugged her and said oh thats okay, im so glad your both here thats what matters to us. I cant imagine how hard that hard to be...If there would of been no money in the card I would of been just as happy...its the principal.

I agree with you..You dont have to have money to have class.

I noticed that two groomsmen didn't give us anything, but that was it, and yes-- it irked me. What was awesome, though, was one still remembered, 3 years later, and bought us a gift then-- how sweet is THAT?!

A card isn't necessarily a gift... Even if they're not bringing a gift, I'd expect guests to at least leave a card congratulating the couple! It takes like five minutes to pick one out and less time to sign it. That said, I'd focus on the positive things about the day, and be happy for the gifts and well-wishes you did receive.