Guests Eating before Bridal Party

Would you think its a good idea to go straight into the first dance as husband and wife while the BP gets their food and sits down or should we go straight into cutting the cake and we can eat while people are still mingling and eating their cake??

Bump.

What is the traditional way? I never actually put much thought into it...

I know that MOST other weddings go the BP gets introduced and then they are served first and then the rest of the guests are served. I just HATE the fact knowing that guests will be waiting, whether it be 10 minutes of 30 minutes. You never know what kind of things can happen or come up and I dont like the thought of people waiting around, hungry!

I should add that thats how its done around here. and i have never been to a wedding further than an hour away and it was all done the same!

So what do guests do while you eat? Never seen this before so I am just wondering

The cocktail hour is for photos, and the wedded couple usually miss that part. I think it's rude to not eat with the guests, as the hosts you should be there.

Thats why im here! lol ive heard of it going over really well that they cut the cake and the guests will eat cake while we eat the dinner.

I think I would feel weird as a guest eating before the bride and groom even showed up.

I also agree with Sarah, usually the cocktail hour is what fills the time between the start of the reception and the bride and groom showing up/being announced/then serving dinner.

The bar will be open starting at 5, so i mean its not technically a cocktail hour. i have never been to a wedding that has actually had a cocktail hour before...

That is how it is done here also. Every wedding I have been to the guest go straight to the Buffet and usually I think the bride and groom just nibble cause they never have a true chance to eat. I don't want to do cocktail hour as that is not normal here and I think would confuse people. I don't really like the idea of not eating so we are doing pretty much all our pictures before hand. We are just taking a few minutes to do a few married photos and then heading to the reception. By the time guests find their seats and get a drink we will be there. Here is our schedule:

• 6:00 - Ceremony Begins

• 6:20 - Ceremony ends

• 6:35 - Guest Arrive to reception to be seated and served drinks

• 7:00 - Bride/Groom arrive to reception/First dance

• 7:05- Guest are led to buffet table

• 7:40 - Special Dances

• 7:50 - Cake cutting/ toasts

• 8:00 - Bride/Groom make table rounds

• 8:30 - Anniversary Dance

• 8:40-11:00 - party

Full disclosure -- I've never been to a formal buffet wedding, so take that for what it's worth.

My understanding is that cocktail hour is a nice social hour between the ceremony and the reception, and during that time, the couple, the VIPs, and the honor attendants have their portraits done. The guests, in the meantime, grab their escort cards with table numbers and then move into the cocktail hour where they enjoy apps and adult beverages. At the start of the reception, all of the guests are ushered into the reception area, they find their tables, and shortly thereafter, the DJ begins the party. The VIPs, attendants, and the couple are spotlighted and introduced. My experience says that the spotlight dances happen at that point.

Dinner is served at that point -- and the couple at the sweetheart table are the first individuals served. Then the mass service begins.

Anything else sounds odd to me -- buffet or plated. Late coming attendants? Why? Honestly, the plan your caterer is suggesting sounds weird.

Thanks for the input everyone.

@Centerpiece- around here I guess its something that alot of the caterers are starting to see more of. Thats what I have been told by a couple people so far. But like i said, I have never actually been to a wedding that was like i suggested so just trying to get feelers on what people think. And like the other PP, cocktail hour around is something that never happens...like ever! I will definitely keep it in mind and look into it though. Thank you so much for the feedback!

I've never been to a wedding where the guests are before the bride and groom arrived. The typical thing to do is to have a cocktail hour at the beginning of your reception. The couple and BP take pictures during cocktail hour while the rest of the guests mingle and enjoy appetizers and drinks. Then, the guests are seated and the couple arrives, and everyone eats dinner together. At all the weddings I've attended, the couple uses the dinner time to get up and visiting the different tables. During dinner is really the only time the bride and groom can easily visit each table and guarantee they aren't missing any guests. When would you be visiting the tables if you weren't there for dinner?

I am having a buffet. The way my DOC explained it to me is that there will be people in charge of serving those that need to be served (FH and me, grandparents, anyone else we deem appropriate) and everyone else will serve themselves.

We are having a plated salad and bread baskets that will be on the tables when the guests arrive from cocktail hour (where there will be bountiful food). No one will be hungry. We will eat together.

BlueHenBride around here the guests come up to the couple. I don't like it that is why I'm not doing it that way. Basically before guests leave they go to the couple tell them congrats and the couple thanks them for coming. I have been to probably 20+ weddings and not one had a cocktail hour. I mentioned having one to some friends and they didn't even know what it was. Its just unheard of. Its always go straight to the reception and eat while you wait for the bride and groom. I don't like it but it is how they do it around here.

I've never heard of people eating before the the bride and groom arrived. It seems very strange.

Cocktail hour was never really a thing around here. The reception was just scheduled for an hour or so after the ceremony was set to end. The BP got there when they got there and everyone just waited. Then again, it was also typical that the wedding and ceremony were not in the same venue and if people wanted a nibble, they stopped on the way and got one. It was expected that the BP was going to take a while and everyone waited.

I personally don't like the idea. I agree with Jacks. You are the hosts, and not eating with your guests seems very rude. Appetizers/hors d'oeuvres with refreshments would be a much better idea imo. A "cocktail hour" does not necessarily mean there needs to be alcohol. Think of it more as a "social hour". I just think it would make the bridal party disconnected from every one else.

When the heck are you and your bridal party supposed to eat then??

ETA: I have never, ever seen this. The bride and groom always eat FIRST. The cocktail hour is what will amuse guests while they wait. Appetizers, cocktails and music will keep them plenty occupied while you take pictures.

We just went to a wedding where we started eating before the bridal party arrived! It was a buffet dinner with close to 300 guests. It would have been so late for everyone to be served if we had waited. My entire table loved it! It wasn't awkward when the party did arrive because not everyone had been served yet. Fantastic idea!

Who cares if that's the way it's always been done in your area. Eating before the wedding couple arrives seems so strange to me. Be different. Have a cocktail hour. Show your family and friends something new and enjoy eating WITH your guests at dinner.