Guest wears white wedding dress

The chances that someone wore a white dress and simply didn't think anything of it is MUCH more likely than someone deliberately wearing white to ruin your day. Although I would never wear white to another person's wedding, I do think that the stigma is fading. As PP's said, a lot of brides wear non-white colors and it's such a silly tradition anyway. What do you really think is going to happen? Someone is going to confuse the bride? It's bad luck?

How can you let such a trivial thing impact one of the most important days of your life?

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Wow - I seriously cannot believe you would be willing to ruin a friendship or relationship over one day. You do realize all of your actions have consequences right? No one is gonna forgive and forget you being petty and controlling just because it was your wedding? If its worth it to you that you would put spite before someone who is supposedly special to you that's actually on you - and not anyone else.

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This. More often than not, if someone is wearing white to your wedding, they aren't doing it to "stick it to you". That's ridiculous.

And if you're inviting people to your wedding who would do that, maybe you should reconsider those relationships....

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Yessss. Like no, I'M not being rude by enforcing a rule I set out (that I really shouldn't even have to). If YOU decide to be intentionally rude to me on a day that important, why in the heck would I want you there?? And honestly, I don't mind if it comes off as rude to others here. It'll be the first day I'm a member of both families, and I'm not starting with a precedent of allowing people to do that to me. No, ma'am.

I wore a pink gown at my wedding. If someone showed up in pink, why should I be upset about that? I mean I get it, it's kind of an unwritten rule, but it's was never actually an etiquette breach to begin with, so I choose not to let something so silly ruin the day.

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So you want to enter into a family with the message "I don't care about you or your feelings. It's only about me and my feelings and that's all that matters"

I'm sure that will get you a lot of invites to enjoy christmas and thanksgiving with your IL's,....

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That's actually my point- the actions of that guest would have a consequence that they brought upon themselves. It is petty, but so would them wearing white be petty. Tit for tat.

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I feel like the people here are only seeing one side of this. Them wearing white would give off that same message. So yes, I'd enforce a rule that I'm making clear to everyone. If they break it, then they're saying they don't care. Sucks for them.

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I really doubt many people wear white to intentionally be rude. Sure it has happened in some situations. However are you truly concerned about this? You shouldn't be inviting anyone that would try to pull a stunt on your wedding day anyway. If someone wears white, it's probably for a much simpler and less cynical reason.

I just can't imagine setting "rules" and have "consequences" for guests of your wedding. You're not their parent, you're not their teacher. They're adults and this just seems ridiculous.

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Because I'm requesting to guests (and FMIL is helping by the way) NOT to wear white. So yeah, I'd be pretty pissed. If it was a 90 year old woman who was excited about her outfit, that's be different. But if it's a 22yr old date of FH's cousin who recently got engaged, yeah nope. Hence why I'm making this clear from the get-go.

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They're also GUESTS of an event that WE are hosting. So yes, we can set some rules in place.

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I hope this doesn't come off wrong but I'm genuinely wondering - what is it to you? Why is it such a big concern? You're right that it's a well known etiquette, or at least it used to be. So why do you assume that you need to write it out and warn everyone? What is the worst that could even happen?

View Quoted Comment But in that vein why not be The bigger person?? What do you gain from that behavior besides animosity from that person?

You have a choice there - be rude and petty back and then leave an ugly memory of drama on your wedding day
or
be the bigger person. Let it go and think twice that maybe it’s not about you. Maybe it’s about them and their own issues. The rest of the guests will seek it as a rude anyway your don’t need to point it out

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See, I do agree a little with this. If it's an older grandmother who has a white dress she adores and wears to every event, that's different. I'm concerned because of stories I've heard about it, especially with guests' dates or older cousins. For the dates, we don't even know them, so they sure as heck better be respectful of what we've requested.

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I'll be honest, I have no desire to be the bigger person here. I understand that ruffles feathers, but that's just how I am about certain things- like my wedding day. I realize I should let it go, but I can just about guarantee that I won't.

I think it’s rude but I wouldn’t do anything. She would be getting enough side eye by everyone especially the older crowd. She’s making herself look bad not the bride.

I guess my overall point is ... how does it even impact your day? If a cousin's date shows up in a white cocktail dress, so what? If they are wearing something over the top then they're going to look shitty, not you. All of us are either planning for a wedding or have already planned a wedding. I'm stressed about my centerpieces, budget, booking my honeymoon flight, catching deals, contacting vendors... the last thing on my mind is what a person may or may not wear and trying to read into why they wore it. WOW how exhausting it must be to live your life so concerned about others!!!

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You might wanna work on that. Can't be nice going through life being so rigid... Life's too short and all you would do by confronting someone is ruin your own day.

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It's also rude to wear white, hence my point.