Grandma wants to wear ivory...

OP, thank you for understanding where everyone is coming from and resolving this well with your grandma.

Julie, virginity is not the original reason brides wear white, though this does depend on your roots. White is the hardest colored garment to keep clean, and everything that's uncomfortable and impractical signifies aristocracy ("Oh we have servants for that), and that's where the trend started. This is the 21st century, people can wear white even if they're riding the rodeo.

"Mary, Queen of Scots, wore a white wedding gown in 1559 when she married her first husband, Francis Dauphin of France because it was her favorite color, although white was then the color of mourning for French Queens. The first documented instance of a princess who wore a white wedding gown for a royal wedding ceremony is that of Philippa of England, who wore a tunic with a cloak in white silk bordered with grey squirrel and ermine in 1406.

White did not become a popular option until 1840, after the marriage of Queen Victoria to Albert of Saxe-Coburg. Victoria wore a white gown for the event to incorporate some lace she prized. The official wedding portrait photograph was widely published, and many other brides opted for white in accordance with the Queen's choice.

The tradition continues today in the form of a white wedding, though prior to the Victorian era, a bride was married in any color, black being especially popular in Scandinavia. Later, many people assumed that the color white was intended to symbolize virginity, though this was not the original intention. (It was the color blue that was connected to purity.) The white gown is in fact a symbolic Christening gown. It is a variation of the white surplice worn in the Western Catholic tradition by members of the clergy, church choirs and servers and the gowns worn by girls celebrating their first communion and at their confirmation and also by women making religious vows. Today, the white dress is understood merely as the most traditional and popular choice for weddings."

I just would like my grandma to be there. Of course, she's in heaven so she can't. So enjoy yours while you have her. Wish I had mine......no matter what she would wear.

She's your grandma she gets a pass.

Seriously?

My grandmother recently sent me a birthday card. Inside, instead of well-wishes, she wrote a nasty message about disagreeing with my life choices (higher education, working in a "man's job,"etc), and then ended it by saying she doesn't miss me. I don't think she is excited about her outfit for our wedding, ha.

I would be grateful your grandmother is excited and well enough to attend, and let her wear whatever she feels beautiful in.

I'm glad you resolved things with your grandma OP. We all have slip-ups where we need perspective. I would give my right arm to have all 4 grandparents there. I only have 1 living one but she's starting assisted living and it looks doubtful each day that she'll make it. So sad.

You want an opinion? Here's one...

You "reached a good compromise"? Great, a compromise on a non-issue now exists. Grandma has repented of her ivory lace jacket. Good work. I wonder how much time she devoted to fretting over her shocking decision to buy an ivory pantsuit for your wedding.

You said you told her that you were unsure of approving her choice because you were concerned with how the ivory jacket would look next to your dress in photos. But, that's just what you said to her -- the truth is you were shocked. So, maybe you can explain why you were shocked. You made it clear that it had nothing to do with her upstaging you, but you didn't make it clear why you had a problem at all.

You also asked for advice. Here's some: call Grandma and apologize for your behavior and for ruining her experience in selecting, buying, and potentially wearing something that made her feel special and beautiful. Let her know that she, a family matriarch, didn't deserve to be treated like a child who needs dress code approval from her granddaughter. Then, tell her to wear that ivory jacket for all it's worth.

I'm not trying to be mean here, but my grandma died 5ish years ago and she was my best friend when I was little..my parents were going through a nasty divorce (lawyers said it was the worst they had gone through) and she was the person who made me smile through the whole mess. I would buy her my same dress if it meant she could be at my wedding. Let her wear her pants suit, tell her she's beautiful, and smile next to her in pictures.

Girl yes that's your granny if anybody deserves to stand next to you at your wedding with ivory then it's her hands down

No one is going to be thinking gee Grandma wore ivory....

And you can't "let" an adult do or not do anything. It wouldn't occur to me to even worry about this.

I'd uninvited her. That'll show her who's boss.

Kidding.

But I really, really hate the "how will it look in pictures" angle. If your pictures include the people you love, they will look good. End of story. People are not props.