Gift for someone who doesn't say Thank you

Are you attending the wedding? If not, I think a congratulatory card will suffice.

Ugh, people's manners! That's so rude of her. I would still give her something small.

For one of my friends, I've given (over the course of about five years): a housewarming gift, a baby shower gift, a wedding shower gift, a bachelorette party gift, a monetary gift at the wedding, a second baby shower gift -- and have not received ONE thank-you card for any of it!

But I'm not bitter.

We all have one of "those". I sent a friend a congratulatory engagement gift off her registry. Nothing. Since I am attending her wedding, I will still be giving her a cash gift.

It is customary when attending someone's wedding to give them a gift. Her past rudeness does not give you a free pass to be rude back. As we all know from planning our weddings every person who attends (or who says they are attending) cost money, so please do not not give her a gift because of past slights. Or if you feel so bad about her past behavior, decline the inviation, and send a congratulatory card.

I would just send a nice card. i don't get some people

Personally, I do not believe in rewarding bad behavior. Whether you are attending the wedding or not, if you choose to buy her a gift, buy the cheapest thing listed. Me personally, I would go to the 99 cent store and buy her a congratulatory card and put $20 gift card from a store she registered with.

Honestly, and I know I'm in the minority here, I think you are WAY off base. You're argument seems to be that she was rude so you should be rude right back . I've never understood holding a grudge about thank you notes. It seems petty and immature.

ETA: Why does it matter that it's her second wedding? It's 2014, not 1950. You obviously don't think highly of this woman so just don't go.

I agree that it being her second wedding should have no influence on gifting her. I mean, if she's asking for another Kitchen Aid mixer when you know she got one the first time, you can certainly throw some serious shade. But when my BFF got divorced, she essentially left behind a good number of her wedding gifts, so I can understand starting over.

That said.

Like Bunny Love, I don't believe in rewarding bad behavior. If you're not attending the wedding, send a nice card and be done. If you're attending, don't spend a lot of money.

I once received a pre-printed thank you postcard after a wedding, so when the baby shower came up, I spent less than $10, including tax, and didn't buy from the registry. I'm not going to spend good money on someone that isn't grateful.

I personally wouldn't go to the wedding and avoid the issue all-together. I would just get her a card (if that), and call it a day.

I forgot to mention that I'm not planning to attend the wedding. It's half-way across the country and just not convenient for me. I'm really not close with my cousin, in fact, the only time I hear anything directly from her is when she's having a "gift" occasion in her life. I am however, close with her parents.

And, I certainly do not agree with the sentiment that it's "2014 not 1950"!! There's no excuse for being rude regardless of what era you grew up in.

I appreciate all the comments...thanks!

@G: That sentiment was aimed towards the second wedding comment, not the lack of the thank you card.

If you're not going to the wedding then just don't send anything.

I think that since you are not attending the wedding, a gift is not necessary. A congratulatory card will suffice.

However if you were going I'd say to me it's important to be a gracious guest, and give a gift anways. While it is rude not to send a thank you card I feel it is just as rude to not give a gift out of spite or from holding a grudge about not being sent a card..You don't give a gift because of the thank you card you get in return.

@Ab: Thank you for saying what I was trying to express in a much better way!

Which is more rude? Not sending a gift or not saying thank you?

Just send a cheap gift card

@Jesse's Girl: I think the point is that it's not a contest. It's entirel non-sensical that you should meet rudeness with more rudeness. It's irrelevant here though because she's not going to the wedding so she doesn't need to send a gift.

I would get a gift, and after the wedding, when time has passed that you should've received a thank you, I'd call and "make sure she got" your gift. You're not being rude, but still giving a prompt that a response is expected. If there's still nothing, just realize this person doesn't care or doesn't realize that thank yous are necessary and decline any future invitations if it bothers you that much.

For me, two strikes and you're out! If I don't get a Thank You for the first gift, I'll let it slide- maybe they forgot, thought they already said thanks, or whatever. After a second gift and no Thank You, that instantly becomes my last gift. After that, you just get cards from me.

I'd send a card and nothing else. Call me petty, but you've done this three times. If it happened once I'd excuse it and still send a gift. But three times with no thank you note? Umm, yeah, no more gifts for your ungrateful butt.

I thought gift giving was completely up to the guest and not mandatory (as often quoted here on WW)? As such, not giving a gift to someone (particularly with the added note that she only pops up at gift giving occasions like graduations and wedding) shouldn't be rude. If she were to wrap up a box with just a card inside that said "You're ungrateful!" or something, that would be rude.