Gift for someone who doesn't say Thank you

You are right and Miss Manners agrees with you. No thank you card negates any obligation for gifts at future occasions. If she cannot show proper appreciation then she doesn't deserve your generosity. That is so rude.

Since you're not attendibg the wedding, 99 cent card is more than enough.

@Just Reenski: While I think it's wrong for a bride to require her guests get her gifts, as a guest I find it rude to go to a wedding empty handed.

I still believe that (unless it's for financial reasons) not giving a gift as a guest is rude..Just because someone is rude to me, doesn't mean I can't be gracious and take the high road. While I understand people are very sensitive about thank you cards (I always give one) I think it's a bit childish to hold grudges. I realize my opinion is not the popular one on here though.

I do, too. But when you show a lack of graciousness for what I've gifted you, I'm not inclined to be so generous again. That may take the form I mentioned, of spending significantly less on still useful items, but I don't think it's out of line or rude that after repeated lack of graciousness, one would decide that their generosity is lost on this person and choose not to gift again. (I've found, at least with those I know, that the lack of graciousness is coupled with other characteristics that I'm not fond of, so these people also take a generally diminished role in my life, if they stay in my life at all.)

You absolutely have the right to choose not to send her a gift. However, I don't the fact that it's her second marriage should influence your decision. Her rudeness, yes.

Since you stated in the comments that you are not planning to go to the wedding, I think a card would suffice. If you felt like being the bigger person, include a gift card to wherever she is registered.

But I agree, it's rude and hurtful to not send your thanks. I went to a wedding once and made a quilt for a gift (probably about 100+ hours of work went into this thing). No acknowledgement whatsoever. I am still hurt and offended by this years later. To neglect sending thanks tells people that you don't appreciate their generosity. Not okay.

It's not holding a grudge. It is simply a recognition that the receiver has not shown proper appreciation for gifts that have been given. Generosity that is not appreciated doesn't warrant future generosity. It doesn't mean the OP wouldn't wish her well via a card, but she has sent multiple gifts and received no thank you. Enough is enough! Maybe this will make the receiver think about her poor behavior (doubt it though).

Some people just don't have manners. And it sounds like that happened a while ago if it was her graduation and first marriage. Learn to expect it from her and move on. Yes, thank you cards are the polite thing to do, but its not the end of the world. Seeing as you're not attending the wedding anyway, I think it would be fine to just send a card.

Also, can I assume that the college graduation was quite a while ago? People change after 22, assuming she followed the usual timeline. I am so not the person I was when I graduated and it's only been 3 1/2 years.

Get her a box of thank-you cards.

LOL @ Lacey, that's perfect! bahahahha