Future MIL sent out e-mail Save the Dates to people not invited! How do I handle this?

My nephews grandmother (on his dads side) did the SAME thing for his wedding last summer but it wasnt a Save the Date it was an actual Invitation done 6 weeks before the wedding....

Welllll Grandma was told how wrong she was and it caused a HUGE rift among the family..... She was told that she had to pay for them and if she didnt she had to uninvite them.... Her doing her undoing....

This is just sooooo wrong in sooo many ways!

FMIL needs to tell them they arent invited or come up with the money to pay for the extra expense.

By the way 72 people is not a very small wedding. My wedding is 30 people and I consider it small. Very small would be like 10 people IMO.

OMGGGGGG I would CUT. A. BITCH.

Following for an update

Oh No!!

Holy Crap! Nightmare! Sounds like you've got some great advice... very curious how this plays out!

I have a feeling her next email will be the invitation. I wouldn't let her near one

OMG!! This is your MIL's mess, so SHE gets to have the fun of emailing/calling all those people and letting them know that they actually aren't invited. If she doesn't end up doing that, well they won't get an invitation from you, the ACTUAL HOSTS, so they aren't invited. This is not your mess to clean up!

Oh. My. God.

I would die. Seriously.

Ouch, sorry that's tough.

Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. I would honestly reconsider sending her an invitation (not uninviting, but just not giving her the physical invitation) because who knows if she would send copies to people? I've heard of that happening before and it sounds like she isn't above trying that.

Oh my gosh - that sucks so bad. I'm so sorry!!

In your case, I almost feel like it's better that your venue does have any size flexibility. It sounds like if you give FMIL even an inch she'd take a mile and invite everyone, so it's almost better that you can't even give her the option to pay for those additional guests.

Time for your fiance to tell your FMIL that she needs to fix this. Her fault - her mess - her problem

Yikes!! Have FH tell her that she needs to fix this! LOL sorry this is happening to you! Sounds horrible

UPDATE: So, after talking out the scenario out 50 times with my fiancé and what I would say was about 542,000 times in my head...I reached out to the persons that I had as "Facebook" friends...most of which are his family that friended me after our engagement was announced.

This is the message:

Some of you (even though I knew exactly who)...Some of you might have gotten a "Save the Date" announcement from "Marge" regarding our wedding this upcoming October. I just want to say that this was done without our knowledge or approval and I apologize in advance profusely as these were not intended to be sent. We have a very small intimate wedding planned for about 35 people (small white lie...35 and their plus ones). "Marge", I believe was just a little caught up in excitement and failed to realize how small our venue really is and that we were in fact at the maximum for the guest list already. I just want to let you know that we value each and every one of you but, the limited space will not allow invitations to all those that we would have loved to be there for us. This is unfortunate, but with limited budget, we are just unable to accommodate everyone. I am very sorry and I wish this had not happened. I hope that possibly we can have a family get together at some point in the near future. Again, I am very sorry for the confusion and hope you accept our apology in this matter. Sincerely, Mo.

That went out to the people I have as Facebook friends and that I have e mail addresses for. My fiancé is calling the others personally on the phone. About 7 people.

This was horrible. I am still so embarrassed that I cannot open the responses yet. Mortified is more like it. I have eaten a whole box of Girl Scout Cookies and thank God I don't drink.

My FMIL on the other hand feels like we should change our venue and expand our budget. She refused to retract what she sent or contact them. She did manage to call my fiancé's aunt to complain about our intention to keep the venue, not change our plans and reach our to everyone sent the e-mail...she refuses to even acknowledge it at all. When my fiancé talked to her, she said that she doesn't understand why we are so uppity and think we are above family. She said we make good money and should be willing to pay for a larger wedding to have all of the family there. My fiancé told her that along with good money comes good bills and it was not a family reunion, if she wanted one of those, then she could plan it at another time.

Mind you, that is not the case. We DID put all of the immediate family and other family members we are close with on our invite list. We have a limited budget and felt that people that are involved in our daily lives are the persons we wanted at our wedding. Not family members that we have not seen in years or haven't even met.

At this point, we mutually decided (fiancé and I) that we will not have his mom involved in decisions or share things going forward until it is time to do so...as in at the last minute, so she cant get the word out!

Holy crap. I'm breaking out in sympathy hives. Sounds like you're handling it beautifully. <3

I think you handled an awful situation very well OP! Your FMIL is a piece of work.

Omg!!! Her save the date email? Is she getting married?? Sorry this is happening. My fmil has asked me, in front of people of they are on the guest list, which they weren't, but this takes the cake. She needs to deal with it. Don't be pressured into inviting them. That's why she did it.

OMG. I'm having an anxiety attack for you !

You do nothing. FH and his mother need to figure this out and deal with the fall out.

FMIL needs to contact them and tell them she screwed up. It's her error, let her deal with that awkwardness.