Formal Wedding, when already married at a court house

If you're already married, then what you are having is not a wedding. See Miss Manners's column on the subject.

Can't have a formal wedding if you're already married.....b/c the whole point of a wedding is to get married. You've already done that, so you don't need a "wedding".

Nothing wrong with a vow renewal and a party though! Just don't make it too "wedding-y" if that makes sense. I would personally skip having anyone walk you down the aisle, having a slew of BMs, registering for gifts, accepting showers and bachelorette parties, throwing the garter/bouquet, etc. But an affirmation of vows in a beautiful dress, with a great party to follow - cutting the cake, having a first dance - I think those things are totally fine. Just my opinion.

Congratulations!

I would say to celebrate your love however you want to. Sometime people get married in a hurry insurance purposes and then their significant other is sick for a while and could not do a regular wedding or they are married quickly before a deployment. Whatever the reason do what feels right to you if you always dreamed of having a "formal" wedding but never got the chance I would say go for it. I would also suggest calling it a celebration of love instead of a wedding because you are already married. I also don't see anything wrong with having anyone walk you down the aisle or having bridesmaids they are showing love and support for your union and you each as a couple. Congrats!

It would be a vow renewal ceremony with the reception to follow my husband and i got married at the court house and were thinking about renewing our vows a year later..BUT were satisfied with the way we got married. (not saying that your not)Our family want's us to do the whole 9 yards...but that's not going to happen. We were in the process of planning a renewal ceremony and what we did come up with was we were going to renew in the church and then go to some place for a "reception" no one was allowed to bring gift's no bridal shower and any kind of "celebration" parties like that. we were planning on not having bridesmaids and groomsmen. I was going to wear my wedding dress again just because our family didn't see me in it..only in pictures...It's the way that you and your FH want to do it. some people plan all out and some don't. do what's going to make you and your fh happy.

I echo everyone else's sentiments. It is a vow renewal with a celebration to follow. You can still wear a gorgeous dress if it is in your budget.

Personally, I couldn't do it. Even if we called it a vow renewal. I'm not saying it's a bad thing but I would feel guilty (I'm Catholic, ok?!? lol). Like I was having a birthday party 3 months after my birthday. There was a thought that we were going to have to run to the courthouse to get married (in order to get a VA loan for our dream house) and I just thought.......I can't expect people to show up for this when we're already married. Even if they knew.

We were in this boat last year, where I needed health insurance and we were going to do this. EVERYONE I asked for an opinion said they saw no problem with it, would come, and would give gifts IF we registered (we weren't going to). My former MOH is from Europe and she said that MOST people do this there because they are required to get married "legally" first and then to the whole church thing.

Follow your heart...

I'd say the etiquette thing to say is what everyone else said...but hell, YOU CAN DO WHAT EVER YOU WANT...

A wedding ceremony and reception all boils down to a public affirmation and celebration of a couple finding each other and legalizing their love. You can do it however you want. If you feel guilty, you can let your family and close friends know what your doing. I'm sure they will still come and celebrate.

IMHO, do what you want! I've been MARRIED for 10 years... and we're having a renewal. My pastor can't even wait! lol. We're doing the ring exchange cause we don't have rings and i have a dress and we're inviting people, granted the invite says to "Renew their vows" which is what we're doing, but we're doing it in a church, with our families... which we DIDNT have before. We ARE having a reception, with music and drinks, food and partying... We arent registering or having any showers or parties cause thats just rude, lol. But, just some fun to entertain the friends and family coming.

I echo what Yardiegirl said.... you have some fun with the people that love you and want to celebrate your marriage that you had 16 months ago. Congrats BTW

I don’t think it should be a problem and you should experience the entire breathtaking moments. Everyone’s situation is different and even though my husband and I had to get married and not do a ceremony, this is his 2nd marriage and my 1st and he wants me to experience it because I deserve to. I don’t care for the gifts but I will be experiencing it all and we’ve been married for 9 years. I want my memories, photos, and honeymoon and that’s just what I’m going to get. Who has the right to determine what etiquette is? They should say traditionally, but it’s a modern world we live in today and I’m proud to do it!

View Quoted Comment

I see a problem with it. It's not real. It's a re-enactment, and I really don't have any interest in going along with the pretense.

View Quoted Comment

I'll be honest, I really have tried but I can't understand this mindset. How is a normal wedding any less of a re-enactment, considering most people don't sign the license during the wedding ceremony? I understand to an extent if there is a large time gap between a courthouse wedding and a formal wedding/reception but I really don't understand the issue if there is a few weeks/months between them.

Um. I'm gonna say do what you want. Who cares if you're "technically" married. People in the military do that all the time because its easier paperwork-wise. Then they have a wedding later on. Screw the people saying not to make it too "wedding-y". Do what you want.

View Quoted Comment

I can't give you an exact length of time between signing the license and holding the ceremony that makes me uncomfortable (for us, the signing was approximately five minutes after the ceremony and during the party), but that's not what bothers me.

It's the having two weddings that bothers me--or, rather, having a wedding and a "wedding," since the first one (the legal one, the official one, the one that made the couple married) wasn't a big enough hoopla for someone's tastes.

I don't want to watch a married couple pretend to get married. What's the point?

DO WHAT YOU WANT...TO MANY OPINIONATED PEOPLE IF YOU ASK ME.

People who are asked questions on an etiquette board tend to have opinions; asking their opinions is the purpose of an etiquette board.

We got married in november 2018 and are celebrating with family and friends next month. DIY party with vows, first dances, garter bouquet toss and more. And yes we are registered! Honeymoon registry.
And no debt! Our celebrating is called celebrating the union of mr and mrs......

Anyone saying you can’t have a formal wedding after being married are miserable. Sometimes things get in the way and courthouse is the easiest way to fix it at that time. Having a formal wedding after is up to you. People still want to celebrate you and your husband since they weren’t there. I think it’s a wonderful idea.

I would say you totally can have a wedding and call it a wedding not a “ vow renewal”. Don’t listen to the defeated opinions here that says you shouldn’t have a wedding or gifts or whatever you feel would be part of what you always wanted. Do whatever you want and don’t give too much value to what other people who don’t know you say about what you can or can’t have. I married my husband in court a year a go because we had too but we are planning on having a religious wedding whenever we are ready. I would also advise inviting only nonjudgmental kind people who actually care about your partner and you. There ate no rules

View Quoted Comment Yes she can. She can have whatever she dreamed of. No one makes the rules, we do and everyone has the right to celebrate any way they see fit. I would say they absolutely can have a wedding, gifts, showers and everything. Your opinion is just too limiting of other people’s choices