For those who invited ~100 guests or less

I'm not sure that my reasons to cut the guest list are even about saving money. It just drives me nuts to see dozens of people on our guest list that FH and I barely know and never talk to, yet we are expected to invite.

@bittsey, I LOVE the 5-year-sadness test! Maybe I'm a horrible person, but that seriously cuts our list in half.

SIL's wedding early this month only had 40 people in it. This is partly due to the groom not inviting a lot of extended family from across the country, probably would not have been able to come; also both the bride and groom do not have a lot of friends; they did not invite children to the reception, only ceremony and finally, the venue they choose can only hold around 40-45 people.

I didn't want a big wedding. We had 100 guests total on our guest list, but there were many we knew would not be able to attend. We had about 70 guests when all was said and done. This was mostly family and close family friends.

I think the real factor that allowed us to keep our numbers down low was that we didn't have a bunch of friends or coworkers to invite. With friends, I've always been a "quality over quanity" person and just have a handful of really close friends (and unfortunately a couple were unable to make it due to being 9 months pregnant). Also since we were getting married out of state, we didn't bother to invite any of our coworkers or friends from Mass.

Sure, ultimately it is about the type of wedding you want. Money comes into play when things go wrong, like with no-shows. Remember the bride who had over 70 people RSVP yes and about 20 showed up? Imagine paying for 50 meals, invitations, decor, etc. for people you don't really care about.

I mean, seriously - do I WANT to invite my friends from HS, and all my cousins? YES! Absolutely! Do I WANT to put stuff on a credit card in order to have those people at the wedding? No.

It's not being horrible - I want to share my wedding with the people that mean the most to me and FH. I want to show the people who will still be in our lives in the next 5 years an AMAZING time, and get to hang out with them!

Now, we DO have a "B" list if we get a lot of nos on the RSVP cards, but we aren't expecting many.

@Mrs S, I think that bride may have been before my time on WW, but I would be LIVID if that happened to me. And I'd probably be knocking on doors looking for explanations directly after the reception.

My litmus test is to see if my second cousin invites me to her wedding in early June. I didn't receive a save the date, so I'm secretly hoping that she isn't inviting her second cousins, which would then give me a pass for not inviting MY second cousins. Of which I have about 20. Plus spouses. Ugh, I seriously have THE most judgmental family ever. It's making this really difficult.

They can judge. They will also get over it.

We had an original guest list of over 100. I cut it at 1st cousins and I would say I have an average size family and FH has a small so that helped.

Im at 80-100 I have a pretty huge family but spread out and he has a medium sized family all within a couple miles of our wedding... we decided early on that family to the relation of cousin or closer were automatically on the list and then we started with close friends and then whoever we had room for are on the list ( we don't have many friends on our list)

Friends come and go but family is forever

were squeezing in our friends where possible but we are keeping it small ish

Middle ground is the worst, its hard explaining to people you can't invite everyone cause youre keeping it small but you have 100 friends coming...

Just my preference, family comes first

I think we invited about 110 and we excluded children. My family is smaller than his but he was more selective about who he was willing to invite because he doesn't care for some of them. And then we tried to stick with the friends we have that are really involved in our lives or relationship which, unfortunately, wiped out a lot of people.

I see so many of you who are worried about keeping the numbers small... is there anyone else who refuses to cut the guest list for fear of walking into the ceremony and only having two rows full? Or would none of you be bothered by a lack of guests? Maybe your families are different than mine.

@ Angel... I think every bride with a small wedding that isnt eloping has a b list for that reason lol.... if I were banking on my whole family coming I'd excees the blg max occupancy... but I also don't want to have 15 people show too so God creates the back up list of people I woupd love to have join me but only after family

We have smaller families and my venue was limited to 40 people for a sit down dinner - only very close family and friends will be invited

@Megan, that's my worry too - it's hard to say "we're keeping it small" and then invite 100 people. Sigh.

We were at about 80, and now we are at 46 YES!

My side of the family is small, & FH is huge!

all of my family also lives close to us, FH family is mostly in indiana, with a few done here. we invited the ones we knew wouldnt come.

& also we picked out the ones that we really wanted to be there and who we still talk to.

we wanted a small wedding I know I did not want 100 people!

Im so happy with our total so far 46!

We started with the basic. who HAS TO BE THERE then we branched out then made a few "cuts"

We both have decent sized families but due to known intolerable behaviors from either side helped us determine who will & will not be invited. As far as my family, other than my mom's brother & his wife noone else knows. I don't really speak to my cousin's often so we're just mainly focusing on the immediate family. FH parent's & eldest sister are deceased so it's just him, his 5 sister's, their spouses & a few close friends for now. We're tying to keep it at 20-40 guest & right now our list is up to 80 in which I know most won't show b/c it's an all adult wedding/reception or the fact that it is OOT (located in Delaware & our family is in the DMV & Pensylvania).

We invited a total of 101 people. We had a lot of declines since it is a destination wedding for most. We went as far as cousins, but only immediate family on both sides are attending. We are looking at about 60 Yes RSVPs, 30 on each side. We were limited, also by the venue we picked, which holds 85.

ETA: I discovered in making the cuts that I have few good, close friends, but hundreds of acquaintances that I connect with on a regular basis.

FHs family is HUGE. He is one of 11, and his patents both have at least 5 siblings. When we made our first guest list including only immediate family, aunts, uncles, cousins and our softball team we were over 300.

In our case A LOT of those were FH cousins, so other than the few he has face to face contact with often we cut them first. Then we cut children except for immediate family and wedding party. We also chose not to invite but a couple of coworkers. Now we have 200 invited, but since we have so much family out of town we are going to end up with probably 120 max at the wedding.

...secretly I wish less would come because not only would it save money feeding them but we get a price reduction with the venue if its 100 people or less!