For those who invited ~100 guests or less

We have small families. But when we first sat down and wrote the list, we were well over 200 people. Then we took a hatchet to it, and before you know it we were at 45. We really kept only those people that we consider ourselves very close to.

For the ceremony we just invited imediate family, siblings, parents, one aunt each and his grandmother. We also included his best friend and his sisters best friend. All the people that he would want there in CA. We are having a larger reception for friends and family a few months later, so that all the people who would want to celebrate with us can without making the trip to CA.

We have medium size families, but we only invited those we are really close with, and see often. Same with friends. Alot of our cousins and extended family didn't make the cut because we barely talk to them, rarely to never see them, or hardly even know some of them.

We knew we wanted something very small, so we chose a venue with a max of 60 so we couldn't have the problem of a snowballing guest list. We both have small families, so with inviting close family, allowing plus 1s and a few family friends, that pretty much filled it up.

How many guests is everyone else having?

Good to know. I'm so discouraged and upset about FH's new job predicament (https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/back-from-vacation-and-blindsided-with-new-problem-yay/c4cb2dfad784e6c8.html) and a few other recent family disappointments that I just feel like taking a machete to our at-this-point hypothetical guest list. Who says we have to invite every second cousin and their mother? What's the point? I'm sure I'll get over it in a few days, but right now cutting our guest list mercilessly is providing a small amount of comfort. Mwahaha.

We decided we only wanted those absolutely closest to us. No family or friends we hadnt talked to in years or that hadn't been around. We wanted quality time with each of the people we invited.

This is my second wedding so on my side I really limited the list. Didn't invite my parents friends (again). No coworkers. Only close family and a very limited number of friends.

FH went a little crazy with friends and coworkers, but his family is 9 people strong total (aunts, uncles, and cousins).

We have 85 guests including children AND vendors. We may add a few more, but we won't hit 100.

@Ren, we're currently at 160 guests. 80% extended family/obligatory guests, 20% close friends/people that FH and I are actually close to.

No one in my family has ever had a small wedding. But it's realllllly tempting me right now.

It’s been really hard. Our immediate families aren’t too large, it’s the extended family we have. Unfortunately we are going to piss a lot of people off and we aren’t inviting everybody we’ve had a conversation with in the last year but it’s all I can do. I’m in SoCal so everything is madly expensive, and even if I wanted a 500 person wedding, it’s not going to happen. It’s been hard for me because I’m afraid people will feel not included but it’s not that, it’s just trying to find a budget. Our wedding consists of mostly immediate family and close friends.

Right now I have 113 on the “YES” list with the probability of 99 showing because I already know the people that live too far and won’t have the money to come, I’m sending them an invite as proper etiquette and I completely understand it’s too far and too much money. I have 17 additional people on the “MAYBE” list – isn’t that terrible? Half of those people probably won’t come either as they are too far. But you never know!

Before I go read that, I have to tell you I'm not anti-large weddings. But having a small wedding gave us some really great perks. I splurged on our OOT bags, because I could. People still talk about them. We had fantastic catering, because we weren't paying for a million people. We didn't have to provide meal choices in advance, but basically had a smaller menu the guests could order from. Most importantly, we DID in fact spend a few minutes with every guest.

Now I'm off to read about the predicament.

I know my mom isn't thrilled about how small it is... my sister invited 230, w/ about 180 showing.

I will say the planning has been a lot less stressful though!

Both families are rather large, but for several reasons there are several family members that we dont want anywhere near us on our day. We sat down and counted out all of the people we knew who we still liked and wanted around us, and only managed to come up with 54 households, about 108 people total. Most of our family is getting announcements.

I have a HUGE family, FH has a very small family. Luckily, my brother got married before me and had a very small wedding so he already had to make those cuts, so I just chose to follow the same cuts he did for two reasons: 1) It would create inner family drama that someone got invited to my wedding and not my brother's and 2) it helped even out the sides between me and FH.

We both have 55 people/side -friends & family combined - (so our list is about 110 right now). And we are expecting about 90-100 in attendance.

ETA: I don't necessarily consider 90-100 small either - but I could have EASILY added another 50 people from my family without blinking.

@Mrs S, thanks for your perspective. I honestly don't even consider 100 to be small. Five minutes of chit chat/mingling with 100 guests is EIGHT HOURS of small-talking on my wedding day. The thought of even that makes my head hurt, let alone what it would be for the 160 we're currently at.

We dont have extremely small families but were only really close to a small portion of them.. even with my plus 1 and stretchin it a little letting my mom invite people she wants to and my guest list is still only at 68

OK, I just read it and I'm sorry about your FH's job.

I would cut the list mercilessly. The number of obligatory invites is much smaller than you may think now. I only ever expected to be invited to my immediate family and closest friends' weddings, but that's it.

Try it, it's not set in stone yet. You'll see that you can do without many of those on the obligatory list, as long as you're consistent. People won't be mad, that's a misconception.

This is our second marriage so we knew we wanted to keep it small and intimate. Luckily we don't have big families and we limited it to only close friends. We have invited 75 and will probably have approximately 65 attend.

I think we are at 85/90 but we really have to go through and see if thats who we want. for family I have a large extended family that I haven't talked to in years. I told FH that unless I see them at family functions throughout the year, then they aren't getting an invite. These are also the people who never didn't even remember my name the last time I saw them. As far as friends go, again just cuz your in my phone or we're on fb if I haven't talked to you in 6 months and you don't make even the slighest effort to say hi to me, then your not getting an invite. I think my side is only 36 lol

We made our master lists and were at over 250 people (we KNEW we wouldn't invite all those people, it was just a "dream list" if you will), then we found our venue. After that we calculated how much it would be per person (including service charge, tax, etc.) and then figured out how many people we could invite based on what we were willing to spend on the budget - then we started cutting people off. The big test was - will you be sad in 5 years if this person didn't see you get married? That chopped a lot of people off the list.

We had a list just under 100 before I was obligated to add a few of my parents guests. We don't necessarily have small families - H only knows one side of his family and I kept it to the family that is somewhat actively in my life (so not cousins I haven't seen/spoken to in years, those that I only see at random family functions, etc.) We also cut children, which is a big part of what kept it under 100.

We ended up with 66 at the wedding -- most of my family from Puerto Rico was unable to make it (and had I known that sooner, we would have had a completely different wedding on our hands.) We also only invited people we really cared about or who had really supported us (which included some co-workers). So all of it allowed for small numbers.