fmil dress Blues!!!! help Me!!!!

View Quoted Comment I am having a similar issue. I caved and let her pick whichever dress she likes. However, I have stone walked her out of every other wedding planning detail . I would also encourage you to take this as a sign for the future . In other words, you can choose to let her ‘win’ this battle but freeze her out of other aspects of planning and be cautious as you move forward post wedding (kids etc. ) it only gets worse.

View Quoted Comment Typically you’ll find you have less issues with your mom vs fmil. I feel you girl. My advice is, bite the bullet and let her have this one . Then freeze her out of every other aspect of wedding planning. You can meet at the rehearsal or event itself .

View Quoted Comment This is very good advice . I’m in a similar situation amplified by using emotions to get her way. It’s a nightmare. You handled this very well xx

View Quoted Comment I’m sorry, that’s a rough one too. My mil pulls the crying a lot too. It’s so frustrating cause you feel like you’re losing control of your wedding. I conceded to a lot. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment It’s about control. You’re not crazy. I did the same thing provided just really guidance / suggestions consistent with my vision for the wedding day. And I was met with tears and resistance . So again, if you choose to let her with this one that’s fine. Just the charge of every other aspect of wedding planning. I would encourage you not to accept gifts / money now or in future if any other tools of manipulation that may be used in attempts to control you .
Focus on other aspects of wedding planning (make your mom look good etc. ) good luck you got this x x

View Quoted Comment The tears and hysteria are too much for me. It’s a tool of manipulation. And sadly leads to concessions. What I did was accept and let her wear what she wanted and then froze her out of every other aspect of wedding planning . That helped me gain some perspective. However, in the moment it really messes with me emotionally and mentally and takes me a while to come down from it

I would tell her straight up. “You already had your day, please abide my wishes for me and FH’s day. Every time you try to change aspects of our wedding, it makes me feel disrespected and hopefully you can do this for us on this one special day”

View Quoted Comment Aimee YOU ARE THE G.O.A.T !! That is my plan period! Because I will NOT be bullied and pushed around PERIOD on a day/event she bot paying for idc how big the adult temper tantrum gets either

View Quoted Comment Donny you are AWESOME!! Glad you get it n understand what I am going thru!! However if I cave she will pulls this the rest of our lives and I ain't having it!! I was not invited to the wedding she had last September because I refused to speak to her (long story but there is a link in the comments of a post I made from Oct 2019)


I will not bow to a women period who does the adult temper tantrum to get her way! She is not paying for ANYTHING period my FH sent out a message to everybody including her after I told him what she has been doing!!
I will post the text so you can see how my FH handled it but she gets no say period because if it was her wedding honey she is a virgo n it's their way or the highway PERIOD she would not allowed me to do that so no
She will NOT have a power trip on my day n my event she wont even be at my bridal shower either. She knows stuff but not in depth because I dont trust her..... so she can pull it n end up not being invited below I will post what he sent n her reply because she thinks somebody playing with her n I am so not playing with her period

View Quoted Comment OMG, she is crazy! Didn’t realize this was a Virgo trait but it makes sense because my mom is a Virgo and is VERY controlling. My mom ruined my engagement and will not ruin my minimony nor the wedding celebration next year lol.

View Quoted Comment My mom is a virgo too (Aug 26th) she is smooth sailing not causing no waves at all. At the same time my mom on some give his mom her way n let her wear what's she wants. My mom thinks by me being firm wit my FMIL that she will talk her som out of marrying (LMAO) my mom has no idea he was ready to marry last year in a quick Vegas ceremony.



I told my mom I am not going to bow to her because she throws adult temper tantrums and guilt trip him all the time n that crap STOPS!! NOBODY should be bullied into anything at their event/wedding she not pulling at crap period either conform for 1 day or stay home idc either way.... my last name will be Thompson at the end of the day rather she there or not

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Yupp! that's, unfortunately, the way it's going to be! I hope that she lets you know all of your stuff that you need to know though! and if it comes to uninviting her that might just be how it goes.

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No worries! There are going to be a few who make quick judgments who don't read through everything! That's okay because you will find who you want in your life when things like that happen. Yeah, the examples were perfectly fine! I don't see any issues with them!! And if your mom and bonus mom doesn't have an issue that's what matters!! That will look very beautiful with it flowing and almost flying through the room!! What a neat idea to have!! I agree if she's not willing to on your day then nope stay home.

View Quoted Comment The only issue I have with this perception is that it’s NOT your wedding day. It just isn’t. As a family member of the bride or groom your role is to love and support the bride and groom as best possible even if that means wearing a mint color instead of a floral color you think is best. It’s simply not your day.
Now What MOB and MOG wear may look different for every bride. Some brides like your daughter in law may not really care about color/detail when it comes to dress. Other brides may just have more of a vision which they would like to see for their wedding day. Neither is right or wrong because at the end of the day this is the most important day for the bride it’s all about her. If the bride feels strongly for her mother and FMIL to wear a certain dress color (I believe she even said she simply sent suggestions along a certain color and nothing was finalized as far as style / comfort) then she has every right to make a suggestion. This isn’t about you . It just isn’t. The problem I see with many MILs is they want to make the day about them and live vicariously through their daughters in law wedding only you already had a wedding! Because DIL don’t want to deal with the tension / drama they simply allow the MIL to basically do/wear whatever she wants. Which is the advice most people on here have said to the OP to avoid like you said ‘pictures that reflect the unhappiness of the guests’. Ultimately it is the best advice but it doesn’t make it right sorry!

View Quoted Comment I 100% hear you, it’s hard because my now husband didn’t really see it. She’s always cried and complained to get her way, and it’s worked on my father in law and husband for years, so for him to not get that she’s being conniving was making me nuts and upset at him. So then I’d be upset at myself for giving in and upset at him for letting me and just upset about the wedding and her taking over in general 🤦🏼‍♀️ And here she is not even fazed, cause this is just how she is. That was the worst part, knowing i let her get to me that much and that none of it affected her at all.