fmil dress Blues!!!! help Me!!!!

For the record never complained about the amount for videographer nor photographer it's just I did not agree with a grey dress nor the style never said the options I gave she had to take. Never tried to confine her at all I confirmed chiffon/tulle dresses she sent me that instead ladies.... the only grey would be the groomsmen suits/tux only ladies


I posted color samples and dress styles didnt say she had to pick those dresses..... 1 of those dresses I was actually going to pick for my mom because on bridal sites that have MOB/MOG entire did not fit either of them so I have sent n picked different dresses I even sent " some" of these dress selections to women OLDER than her by at least 10+ years and they all thought they were pretty with not a issue ..... different strokes from different folks . Another thing I am paying for me mother n bonus mom dress. I am not paying for her dress her son my FH didnt even offer to pay for her stuff just just brother suit who will be a junior groomsmen.
He really doesnt want me paying for my mom's stuff (dress/hair/make up) for the fact his mom might ask or aspect him to do the same and he does not want too..... ladies this is just a lot n I have 422 days left of this nonsense alot of you dont agree with me which is cool I get .....

View Quoted Comment I ordered swatches from them and got them yesterday!! She ordered swatches from Azazie and so did I to see if the colors match up but thank you!! Right now the David's bridal "Spa" I love and Kleinfeld "hint of mint" shades I love.

View Quoted Comment Technically our parents are considered to be apart of the wedding party my dear.... all others attending can come as they are and wear what they choose..... I mentioned I considered parents and grandparents as a part of it and will be given a distinct color to stand out to be notice as our parents..... my point were for them to stand out in a suttle way but separate from the actual wedding party

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"Technically our parents are considered to be apart of the wedding party"

"my point were for them to stand out in a suttle way but separate from the actual wedding party"

So..which is it? If they're not a bridesmaid or groomsman, they aren't in the wedding party. They're a guest and they choose their own attire. If you want them to stand out, that's what corsages and bouts are for.

Vivian, I pray everything goes as planned and you and your MIL fix whatever problems or disagreements yall have between yall. In the long run you should want to have a good relationship with her because its healthy. I agree with the person that suggest counseling, because there are bigger issues between yall besides color swatches. I understand your point of view as well, as far as your wedding and your vision. But putting her out is definitely not the solution!! You have alot of time until your wedding so hopefully you get your wish and she come around. Her style of dress is MIL type in my opinion. Maybe suggest the color you would like her to wear. Just be patient, continue to be kind and show love. Best wishes luv

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I am with you on this, I like the dress its classy. I would want something like this for my mom and my fmil to wear to our event.

My mom wore that exact dress but in black. She looked elegant and felt beautiful. Happy mom, happy bride. And nobody outshone me, not even my bridesmaids in white

She's a person, not a prop for photos. Grown ups can dress themselves. Especially grown ups old enough to have given life to and raise your partner. You're being ever so slightly extra about this.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! Besides 2 other people on this post I practically got butcher but u were able to see where I was coming from and I actually appreciate your sensitiveness to the whole matter. Because frankly at this point I actually regret posting anything a out my feelings but yes there is an underlying issues I havent felt with



Because there is no point when the other person doesnt see or feel they have done a ything wrong to you n justify everything on their part. Honestly I do not wish to have a relationship with a person of the likes of her.... you can hurt me never apologize for it and instead of doing something and knowing you are wrong you play nice a d attempt to be my friend like it never happened
I dont trust her.... I dont trust her intentions... If u have time go back n read what i posted a few months back the link was posted by me in the comments of some of the things she has done... but as u can see I am being judge harshly here however I honestly feel if bride were to have to walk a mile in my shoes when it comes to her ... they would not want a relationship and keep their distance I am still nice to her because of him even having a painting done for her n her father for her birthday. Since he has passed away and wont be able to attend this event with her n share in this moment. But I keep my distance I answer all n any questions she has about the wedding
I listen to her suggestions and ideas as well...... not even nasty to her like I felt she was to me ....
Even got my FH to talk to her about the wedding because of the message she sent him below

View Quoted Comment Grown ups can dress themselves never said she was a prop for a photo at all.... Said the color of the dress n style resembles a wedding dress... that's pretty much what I said

You're welcome, I'm glad you're so capable of self-reflection and handling criticism that you're still entirely focused on insignificant details instead of the way you're acting. The fact that you think I'm bashing you by suggesting you look at the big picture is very telling.
Enjoy your perfectly manicured hint-of-mint and Tiffany blue day.

Viv girl, I read the other post and im truly sorry you are going through this mess. Don't feel sorry that you posted your feelings on this site. This should be a judge free site, should only be suggestions or opinions but definitely not negatively. My best suggestion is counseling. If yall decide not to go to counseling then stay away from his mom, let him deal with her. At the same time always be respectful and don't make him choose. Let him relay all the messages to her and you stay out of it. I'll be praying for yall. I truly hope everything works out. You can message me directly if needed.

View Quoted Comment Ma'am THANK YOU for actually reading the other post!! As u can see I practically got slaughtered here this is actually my first time at that only 2 ppl have took the time to read her previous behavior. Ma'am I unblocked her because of him.... I dont disrespect her because of him.... I stay away from her .... he asked me to give her all wedding details I did absolutely that .... I have not bern nasty at all ma'am....


She doesn't like the hint of mint or nothing else and let me know in a nice way ! Yes he deals with her and she gets upset about guest allotment first after he told her how many we were inviting and then didnt like the dress I picked out ok cool ... the color I picked out for our parents she dont like that either.... she doesn't like chiffon or tulle dress idea even after I said I wanted her n my mom to just float thru the room right along with me.....
Thank you !! I really appreciate you taking the time to read everything.... you have no idea how that makes me feel after everything that was said on this post n how his mother is

View Quoted Comment I sent you a friend request already as soon as u gave me the say so lol thank you!!

Sounds like you did your part and that's all that matters. Try to stay positive and focus on you and your future husband. Don't let anyone actions stress you out. Only worry about what you can control. Best wishes beautiful!

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I agree with this too! And for the record, I think that gray dress is classy, elegant and ideal for a mother of the groom to wear.

I don’t care if they are family or about to be family or someone who claims they are your friend, if you have tried and they continue to hurt you in any way you have the right to protect yourself! I like how some people encouraged counseling but that’s only if you both are willing to try. But you are better than me hon. I would’ve just let her wear whatever she wanted and showed zero interest in her decision making. You are giving her too much power over your feelings. I have learned to accept things I can’t change but change my response and behavior when dealing with difficult people. She knew picking a gray dress would upset you. So how can you accept it without being angry? Because she will continue to try to push that nerve long after you’re married if you keep giving her the satisfaction of your response. For my self preservation, I have had to distance myself from family and “friends” who tore me down and I don’t care what anyone thinks about it. At the end of the day, this is your life and you can always decide who is a part of it and in what capacity. My wish for you is peace and happiness and the acceptance that you’re marrying into his family which may require continuous compromise if cutting her out will hurt FH. I hope it gets better hon.

View Quoted Comment I now have to figure out where I need to go to accept it...lol

View Quoted Comment THANK YOU!!! WELL SAID!! I COULD NOT HAVE SAID IT BETTER!! THANK YOU FOR READING AND GETTING THE FULL PICTURE!! IDK IF U READ MY PREVIOUS POST ABOUT HER WHICH I POSTED IN THE COMMENTS BUT THANK YOU! I KNO WHAT U SAID REALLY CAN FROM THE HEART!! THANK U SO MUCH U ALMOST JUST MADE ME CRY!! FOREAL

I kinda went through the same thing with a long distance maid of honor. I showed her different dresses. Once she went to the stire