Feeding some guests and not all?

What are the ceremony and reception times? I can understand not feeding them DINNER if it's a later reception, but you have to give guests something.......something to munch of appetizers, munchies, something.

I'd tell your friend to only invite people she can afford to feed. Or don't feed any of them, and do an afternoon snacks/cake reception. I think it's terribly rude to tell some guests "thanks for coming, but sorry, we didn't want to feed you".

That just sounds rude. I mean if she wanted to do an intimate dinner for the bridal party isn't that what the rehearsal dinner is for? I think she should offer th guests something, or not have a reception at all. But that is only my opinion.

I think it is terribly rude to invite guest but only allow certain ones to eat.

Wow, that is ONE of the craziest ideas I have heard. So what does she expect her other guests to do while the others eat? Just watch them and listen to the stomachs growl??

@ FMC....LOL!

In the mid-west area I'm orginally from I've been to wedding dances. This is where the couple has a private ceremony and dinner and then basically puts an announcement in the paper for the dancing portion of the reception. I would say that if she wants to do a small private ceremony with close friends and family and then an intimate dinner followed by a larger celebration in the evening with cake and beverages then she could send out postcard type invitation for the reception

Dancing only

Please join us at X location to celebrate the union of Mr and Mrs.

Cake and punch to be served

Ceremony and reception

Please join us for the union of Mr. and Mrs.

Dinner to follow

Open reception @ X location @ X pm

In my opinion she can't invite everyone to the ceremony and the dancing without also inviting everyone to the dinner in between.

Okay, I am glad I am not living lala land thinking this is rude...I just see people showing up expecting to eat n seeing people eating and getting offended...

Not sure what time the ceremony is but maybe leave time in between and take those that she want to feed out to a nice lunch or dinner then have the reception @ a later time for everyone else to attend but I still think a small snack even if it isnt anything but chips, dips, nuts, punch and cake would be the right thing to do for the others.

I like that Idea, the dancing one maybe I'll suggest it to her. She grew up in a small town so knows a ton of families and doesnt wanna hurt anyone by not inviting them, but I don't think she's thought of how people will feel by being not invited to the dinner portion...

Lol @ Crystal, so I feel I should tell her this will be taken as rude, and she did ask me about it but how should I bring it up and tell her I dont want to make her feel bad, but I dont think she should do this...

@ Crystal S, it'd actually be like saying come over to wath the Superbowl, oh but I'm only feeding 10 of the guests but you are welcome to sit and watch them eat.

Who is going to be in charge of telling which guest who can eat and who can't eat? This is just silly, rude and in very poor taste. Please advise your friend to NOT go through with this plan.

It's much better if you told her it's an awful idea than if her guests are a) offended, and b) keep on talking about it for the next couple of years.

So in addition to the pure craziness and rudeness of this idea, I really don't understand how it would work logistically.

Oh. my. god. seriously that is in no way shape or form acceptable. i think i just had a heart attack. please find a way to tell her there is simply no way to do this.

Those are the kind of weddings people see on television and think- What were they thinking? Didn't anyone tell them this is wrong? You, Courtney, have to be that person to tell them how this will be perceived.

even if the reception only has cake and punch EVERYONE should get the same thing.

Wow... From a guests point of view, I think you expect to have a dinner at the reception. Usually people are rushing all day and wont have time to cook or go out to eat. I also agree it will be talked about for years after.

From a Brides point of view, I would recommend telling her to invite only those who she can afford to feed. I would feel so awful eating in front of people and only having certain people allowed to eat. It might make the guest feel not welcome.

Thank you all so much I am going to strongly advise her to NOT do this, I just hope she listens. Wish me luck! haha thank you all for letting me know I am not crazy for thinking this is a horrible idea.

We actually considered doing something like this. We'd have 3 types of invites: a ceremony invite, a reception invite, and a cocktail invite. Those invited to the ceremony would be invited to the reception and cocktail time. Those invited to the reception would also be invited to stay during cocktail time. The 'cocktail' invites would read something like this:

Please join us for drinks in celebration of our marriage.

8pm X location, blah, blah

It was a serious consideration because of budget, but we ultimately decided it would be rude not to invite everyone to eat with us.

It's a TERRIBLE IDEA. Rude is an understatement, that's just straight up trashy. "Oh, we're only feeding those people over there, hey everyone else....we'll be done in 30 minutes!"