Feeding some guests and not all?

I have had a lot of brides ask me this question (usually to save money with a large guest count.) It is proper etiquette to not discriminate between your guests. Feed all the same thing or none at all. It is also considerate to put on the invitations what will be available if dinner is not provided especially if the reception falls during the dinner hours (6-8 pm.) If she is only hosting appetizers and cake you would write: Hors d'oeuvres reception to follow the ceremony or cake and punch reception to follow.

It is not only rude to feed some guests and not others it is improper and disrespectful to your guests who have come to support you. You need to think of parents with children who need to eat who have traveled. I have seen appetizer receptions (where the B&G did not let people know it was only apps) where all of the guests left before cake and dancing since they were all starving and the only people left in the room were the B, G and immediate family. Ruins the day.

Yes horrible idea. You can't do that...that's so rude. I do think she should either do a small cake reception or like Sami B suggested postcards inviting the guest seperately the ones for dinner and the ones for dancing. You can't just invite everyone and only feed some of them. Please please save her from the embarrasment and shame she will feel if she does this!

Yea not ok by any standards. The other guests will find out others got food, and hungry guests = pissed guests.