Etiquette on asking someone to be in your wedding. RANT!!

Budget was my #1 concern. My BM dresses were $78. My flower girl dresses were under $30

@Jessica B!!

My comment about dropping out was not meant towards you at all! : )

I'm sure me planning my own wedding is making me react differently than normal, I guess I just can't see not asking our wedding party what they can afford. It seems so inconsiderate of the couple getting married.

Jessica, the OP clearly asked if this was proper etiquette and it most certainly is not. That's the answer.

Both of those costs are cheaper than H or I have ever paid for BM dresses and tuxes. I wasn't asked my budget for any of the weddings I was in.

Honestly, I didn't ask any of my BMs for their budget but I also already knew what they could afford. H didn't ask his guys because his dad had already offered to pay for anyone who couldn't afford it.

That's technically not proper etiquette though.

Yeah - that's average.

I hunted for inexpensive but quality bridesmaid dresses for months, they all range from 160-180 and the girls felt like that was a great price.

My FH's guys are buying their tuxes at like $350 which they all agreed on.

It kinda sounds like this bride didn't get budgets ahead, which is inconsiderate. However, nothing about this seems super overboard or unreasonable to me.

ETA: and it kinda sounds like you don't love this bride / that you're in this wedding to begin with?

Have you looked up if you can rent your BM dress?

Thank you everyone for the answers!! I didn't want to be annoyed with something that was normal etiquette. Also this is a learning experience for me to know what not to do when that time comes for my own wedding.

I appreciate your answers so much ladies!! You've been a great help and I feel much better just venting to you all.

"Honestly, I didn't ask any of my BMs for their budget but I also already knew what they could afford."

Ms. B --> Mrs. L no you didn't. You knew what you thought you knew and part of that may include things like salary if you work at the same place, but just because you knew what they make doesn't mean they can afford what you came up with or that they even want to.

Brittany, what this bride did was not proper etiquette, it was rude. Hopefully the ladies here who are completely dismissing your concerns by telling you that these prices are "cheap" and basically telling you to suck it up and that you're overreacting will be treating THEIR wedding parties better than you've been treated by this couple.

@Elizabeth - actually, no. I knew it because we are all very open with each other to the point that I know how much is in each of their bank accounts, how much debt they have, and what their bills are and vice versa. And we've all talked about how much different weddings costed to be in and what we thought was normal and what was absurd. I just never specifically asked them about my dresses.

She should have consulted with the BM's before she chose a dress.

The groom should have done the same thing with the groomsmen.

Having said that, there was nothing stopping you from raising the subject any time between the time you were asked to be a BM, and now.

" No need to call me out needlessly, I didn't attack OP. "

Wait, responding to you by name is calling you out??? You're on a freaking Internet forum. People are going to reply to your comments. Hate to break that to you.

I asked her if this was the price to rent or buy. It is indeed the price to rent. She said that buying would be $500-$600 on the low end. And then reminded me that David's Bridal has a credit card we can sign up for.

$180 is a lot for a bridesmaids dress in my opinion. $240 for a tux is not so crazy. The guys are paying for their tuxes and it's about $205 CAD. We put down a $20 deposit for each of the tuxes. However with that said the tux package comes with literally everything but the underwear. So I guess it also depends on what the tux comes with.

Now she wants you to go into debt for her vow renewal! What a peach. Eye roll.

And I had just told her we are trying to pay off our bills to get ready to look for houses. And she suggests me sign up for a credit card. It honestly just saddens me that she cares that little about her wedding party.

Your friend sounds like such a loser, I'm sorry. I'd drop out before she could say bridesmaid.

Wow! Our local shop rents amazing Italian made suits at a much lower cost. I find it really weird that everyone here thinks 240 is standard, especially bc you mentioned it's a suit not a tux!

Just a side note...but to say that their wedding isn't "real" because they were legally married last month is kind of rude.

I got legally married a few weeks ago so my fiancé and I could both be on his VA loan but that doesn't make our wedding on October 7th fake...

Devin, I get what the OP means. Your wedding day is the day you're legally married. The ceremony on October 7th is symbolic or a vow renewal.