Elope...and then have a formal wedding later?

I don't think it will feel like a real wedding for you next year... I would wait and do it right just once!

Deborah & Ashley, those are my thoughts exactly. I want that one amazing day!

I suppose I should tell my friends to leave it alone. Too much wedding stress already.

A friend eloped and planned a formal wedding the following year. She was not happy before or during the ceremony. When I inquired, she said the day didn't feel special. If you want to elope then elople. But don't let others plan your wedding.

I had thought about postponing my wedding but my FH said he didn't want to wait to marry me. A friend of mine suggested getting a courthouse marriage now then have formal wedding later and I basically told her it wouldn't be the same. I, personally, would feel silly having a wedding but being married already. It would kind of negate the point of a wedding.

Hmm why are your friends egging you on to marry is it because they all just want to be a some fun event soon? That I would totally bloody ignore sorry. It is when it is. In fact in my experience since I have a two day wedding, most vendors rip you off taking advantage of the situation.

My husband and I were married this past August, for military reasons & now are planning our dream "wedding" for Sept. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. We will say vows (we have already said traditional vows, so we can't wait to write our own), dance, have a reception. This is what worked for us.

All in all a "wedding" is to celebrate the marriage of two people. Your family & friends will be there to celebrate the love you have for one another. I don't really see why it would be different. You're confessing your love & vowing to be with each other for your lifetime. Saying them again is just as special.

I understand that there are situations (military being one of them) in which a "wedding" some time after you are actually married is the only way to involve friends and family. But I don't agree in general that, "Saying them again is just as special."

It's kind of like the difference between a birth and a birthday. Both may result in celebrations. But a birthday occurs every year, and is likely to be a much lower priority than a birth, which occurs only once in a lifetime.

Similarly, you could have a celebration of your love every year if you wanted (or even more often). But it wouldn't be as special as the one day on which you actually get married.

Eloping = getting married/a wedding. If your dream wedding is to elope, great! But if it's not, then don't do it. Just wait till you can have a wedding you're happier with.

Eloping might not be a formal EVENT, but it's still a completely legit, legal wedding.

I say do what you want.It will be your day no matter what, just 2 anniversary dates really. I currently am trying to decide if I should do a Skype Wedding (finish reading before you judge) or wait until it's an emergency/the day we have set. You may ask in your head why? Well FH recently found out he may have to have brain surgery but it has not been set in stone since he has to get an MRI to cofirm/deny. The only way I can get home with a red cross message is by being legally wed. I'm trying to decide to set it up soon or wait until we get more news on his status. Everyone's situation is different whether it's money, insurance, military, family problems, etc I say do what makes YOU happy not anyone else.

I personally don't understand why people get caught up in the technical terms of "wedding" or "celebration of marriage"... I don't know; people get their panties in a bunch. I understand that there are many reasons to get married before and I totally supposed that! If you don't have to though, why would you? It just seems that it would be more stressful planning 2 seperate days, then just planning one dream day. It's my opinion that if it can be avoided, you should just do it all on the same day. If you don't end up planning the wedding and reception together, you may never get to that "dream wedding" that you always wanted.

Dont be confused. Do what u want to and need to do. Listening to everyone only gets u confused more bec everyone will have an opinion. Just like its an opinion to say u cant call it a wedding once u get married. U can call it what u want to call it. Im married already myself and have been for 3 1/2 years. Im planning on renewing my vows to my husband next year. It will be our 5th anniversary. We got married at the court house. We didnt have our kids nor family with us. Now i want my wedding and i say wedding bec either way u look at it I will be paying for it just like everyone else. It wont make it no cheaper then theirs. Plus im doing the dress and all that. I will put renewal on my invites though and thats bec we is married and thats what we will be doing. This time though we will have vows to say. Last time we just got married without our own words. So again do as u please. Call it what u want. Dont let ppl push u, all u need to do is talk to your FH and thats it.

You should probably stop letting your friends have so much say in what you do for YOUR wedding.

Bridal Balls. Grow 'em. Use 'em.

You might want to use the "search" function before asking a question like this--it gets asked at least once a week and the responses can get pretty heated.

In short, if you elope you're already married. You don't get to get married a second time without first getting divorced, so a lot of us don't like you to call it a wedding (the second, formal one) since it's not. Others tell you to do whatever you want because it's your day.

If you decide to elope and then do a reception later or a vow renewal (if you choose to include a ceremony), there's another big debate about whether or not you need to let your guests know. Some people don't see a problem with lying to their friends about it, others do.

I did elope and am now planning a 2nd for the families and literally every part of it is for the families and friends - about the families and friends, every dollar I spend is for their happiness, their enjoyment, their experience and pleasure -not us the couple. So if you like that idea of spoiling the s$!t out of your friends and fam then it's fine

View Quoted Comment So do you celebrate the date you eloped or have your big ceremony? We’re talking about eloping this oct and having the ceremony in may with a reception with family.

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Did you tell people you had already gotten married or did you keep it to yourselves? How did your guest react to the thought of going to a wedding while you were already legally married?

Pick one or the other. Your friend doesn't get a say in this matter. If you want to elope then it makes no sense to repeat your vows a week or year later with 100+ guests under the guise of that being a "real" wedding as if the legality of the first means nothing. What many don't understand or care is that if you elope first, that IS you.r wedding and you can't have another wedding after that without a divorce in the middle. Guests also hate being lied to and will find out when you are not honest with them.

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We got married in september 2016 for legal reason and had a wedding (ceremony and reception) in october 2019. we celebrate the day of the wedding (october 2019)....but we celebrate the number of years we've been legally married. so this october we will celebrate 5 years married. some may not agree with how we did things. a lot of my family didn't, but truly i couldn't care less. its our day, and our marriage, and that's that. i really don't understand why it would matter to anyone but the people in the marriage, it literally doesn't matter. but, it will matter to people...for reasons i'm still unclear on, but you just have to keep on keeping on. dont let anyone decide how you should do things, or tell you that you dont deserve to throw, plan, cater, pay for, and decorate a party to celebrate your love. those people are hateful and dont deserve to be there anyway.

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Okay, Michele did NOT pass the vibe check. Getting very much baby boomer vibes from this user. Getting eloped is not a bad thing. Please explain what is so bad about TWO people who are in love having a privet and meaningful moment THEN afterwards sharing the good news to family and friends by having a ceremony a year later? We can elope then have another "wedding" without having a divorce in the middle. We are allowed to celebrate our elopement with our family and friends who love us dearly whether it is a week later or a year later. As for the guest that hate being lied to and won't celebrate our happiness and marriage because of a choice we made? They may excuse themselves from OUR wedding ceremony.

My friend is renewing her vows today, two years after her elopement to Australia. She is asking for gifts, registry, etc and eloped with a trust fund baby who' s parents died. Why stuff more in a multimillion dollar home? It is her second or third marriage and each time she got the man and eloped. Now she wants the "wedding" sorry sister, its a vow renewal. She didn't ever invite her mother or her sister or her grandmother but has random people she likes to stand in for the family members she has a long history of despising. Her father loves her dearly and she hates him. Selfish alway, self absorbed human. Icky asking for gifts in this situation. Dust bin with the invite. I'd rather spend NYE at home than with this 35 year old stinker. Keep it classy ladies!