Dry wedding... **UPDATED**

I believe there is nothing wrong with that, but unfortunately these people don't believe the same way. This includes my father. He is very graciously paying for our wedding, and I won't dare ask him to pay for something I know he believes is morally wrong, whether I think the same way or not. And I am well aware that FH and I are grown adults and can pay for this wedding ourselves, and we have the full capability to do so, but I can't imagine disrespecting and disappointing my family in that way. I've given all of this information to ask this: I know dry weddings are acceptable if the wedding is hosted at a non meal time, with cake and punch and no dancing. However, it's not what I want. For years I have dreamed of an evening wedding in the fall, with a lovely dinner and dancing til the cows come home. Assuming all attend, only 23 of my 200 invited guests drink. I have talked to a few about my situation and they all said they didn't care if my wedding was dry or not, but I know they could just be trying to be polite. I don't want to give up my dream wedding just for something that seems so minor, but I also don't want to be a "special snowflake" and seem self centered. I've been stressing about this ever since I joined wedding wire and I really need some unbiased opinions. I say that because until I joined this community, I didn't realize just how uncommon dry weddings were. I've never been to a wedding where alcohol was served, but I've also never been to a wedding where the couple was from somewhere other than my small town. All of these weddings have still had dancing and been at dinner time. Thank you all so much for your help with this, and I am prepared for any comments and will not rude or defensive to anyone, as I know you all are genuinely trying to help me.

***UPDATE*** I am going to look into a consumption bar. I didn't know that was a thing, but I do now and I am going to check it out and have a sit down conversation with my dad (wish me luck on that one). Thank you all so much for your objective responses to this situation.

Yay more click bait. Good night WW...

What are you looking for? Validation that your dry wedding can still be fun? I'm not sure what the point of this thread is if you know how WW feels about dry weddings.

Why are you inviting 200 members of your church to your evening wedding?

So if 88% of your guests loved meat and thought vegetarians were stupid, would you not provide a vegetarian option?

I don't think I've ever been to a dry wedding where there was dancing, so I'm having a hard time imagining it.

I also don't think I would have accepted dad's money if I had wanted a particular kind of wedding.

But, I have the same question as Shelby. Are you looking for advice on how to have a fun dry wedding? Are you asking if you're an exception to the typical etiquette?

Please use the search bar.

If 88% of your guests really don't drink, I think this is a reasonable breach of etiquette. Assuming your friends are from the same community, I think they'll understand, and perhaps expect a dry wedding anyway.

Be prepared for people to disagree, but know that not every situation can ever fall under one set of standards.

You can pay for your own wedding but don't want to disrespect your father by declining his offer but you also don't want him to pay for alcohol because that will also disrespect him? Is it his wedding? How old are you?

Not sure what you're looking for besides validation, and I'm not about to give that to you. Host your guests properly. That's all I have to say.

I suppose I just wanted to know if anyone had a similar situation, any other advice or opinions I may not have heard, etc. if an afternoon wedding is what I need to do, then I will. I know I can't be the only one that's had this problem, and I wanted to open up to a group of people that I knew wouldn't sugar coat anything.

@ALC, whether I agree with them or not, these people have been there for me all of my life. Especially when my mother passed, they were the most supportive group of people I had. Also, it's customary that an open invitation is extended to the church for weddings of members. I've discussed not inviting them all with a few people but it was deemed not to do so.

This is ridiculous. Your father is paying and you're letting him call the shots even though it's not what you want.

Adults, mostly, want alcohol. Not enough to throw up in the ice sculpture; a glass of wine or two will do.

The bible is full of alcohol, and the concept that strict Christians won't drink is something I've never understood, but that's a whole other post.

Welcome to your fifth star.

Pay for this deal yourself and do what you want.

Do a consumption bar for those 20-25 people. That's a lot of people. If they're drinkers they will not be dancing until dawn with no drinks. I can guarantee that.

If it makes you feel better I am also having a dry wedding. My fh and I have a very small budget so we are getting married on a Sunday afternoon. We don't feel the need to go over our budget just to serve alcohol. Our wedding with be just as special without it and I'm sure yours will be too.

I'm absolutely fascinated by these "dry wedding" threads. I had never in my life heard of a dry wedding before coming here. I didn't realise that you can't drink in churches and even some parts of your country. It fascinates me that you can buy guns in Wal-mart, but you can't drink in a parish basement.

Also, your drinking age is crazy high, who wants to start drinking at the age they graduate University?

Small budgets are not an excuse for dry weddings.

@Antonia, I'm sorry I didn't clarify that well. I don't want to disrespect him by having alcohol at the wedding. I love my dad more than anything but he and I don't agree on alcohol consumption. I feel like it would be a slap in the face to him to have it. That's what I was getting at

Ummm, wait. I live in the middle of a place where most Christian factions are Southern Baptist. One of their devout beliefs, right up there with alcohol being of the devil, is that dancing is of the devil too. So much that they have some little inane saying along the lines of, "A dancing foot is the devil's tool," or some bs like that.

How is it that this 88% of your Southern Baptist guest list poo-poos at drinking, yet they're 100% fine and dandy with dancing?

If you want the dinner and dancing, I suggest this: cut the church people from the guest list. Invite friends and family who are not so hypocritical in their beliefs (after all, Jesus himself, the one who NEVER sinned, drank wine and mead daily), pay for it yourselves, and serve beer and wine to your guests.

You just aren't going to get that party atmosphere without alcohol. That's why its frequently referred to as a social lubricant. Yes, people will come to dinner, but chances are they won't dance. And those same people you would be "disrespecting" by having alcohol will feel JUST as disrespected if you have dancing.

You obviously can do what you want, but the fact of the matter is that 9 times out of 10, no alcohol = no dancing, no matter how awesome the DJ is.

Can you do a consumption bar? So your guests that do drink have the option? I went to a dry wedding in March and there was no dancing. They had to move their grand exit up at least an hour because everyone was leaving.

I don't know if you'll have "dancing until the cows come home" if there's no alcohol.

I've been to a dry wedding, and while it didn't bother me (I don't drink much anyway), it definitely had a different vibe to it. Just make sure that your expectations are realistic. Now, if you've been to many dry weddings and they lasted a long time - great. Try to figure out what they did and do that, too. And in the long run, you know your own social circle.

That said, I'd still try to offer wine or something for the 22ish that DO drink. While I totally respect your beliefs, I'm not sure a wedding is a place for you to thrust your beliefs upon them. Now, if the venue is a dry venue, like a church, then that's a different story.

I personally think that this is one case where it would be fine to have a dry wedding. I have never been to a dry wedding or a wedding with a cash bar before and I genuinely think that I would understand in this case.

That being said, just because you have a dream of people dancing through the night doesn't mean that everyone else will be willing to do so without alcohol. If you're willing to risk that, then I think this is an acceptable time to not include alcohol.