Dry bar demands my FH

Op - there should never be ultimatums in marriage. The whole no alcohol or we elope nonsense is ridiculous .

For the alcohol part :

Mrs. Wade, it is not a sign of respect to cater to the "don't even try to convince me of your position or I'll cancel our wedding" half of a couple. That will be a hard sell to contemporary women who frequent WW. You are entitled to your opinion, and so am I. I find that approach to conflict to be absolutely chilling. However, that's another discussion for another day.

There are two kinds of alcoholics: those in recovery and those not in recovery. Those in recovery (and I know whereof I speak) would be absolutely horrified to know that 199 other guests were precluded from drinking at a hosted party because of their disease -- horrified, embarrassed, and angry. The other type of alcoholic is going to bring his or her flask or bottle to your open bar, cash bar, or dry wedding. You will never stop it, even if you have cars searched as they enter the venue. You are dead wrong when you say an alcoholic cannot police themselves in the presence of alcohol. Of course they can. Countless alcoholics do just that every weekend around this country at weddings, BBQs, birthday parties, card games, holiday dinners, and get togethers with other adults. Through treatment, they know alcohol is a part of adult life. They realize that adults drink alcohol at social gatherings. They have to order soda. Until there's a better solution, this is the answer for the alcoholic. I've never met a single recovering alcoholic (and I've known plenty) who actually believe that alcohol should be banned just because they're showing up at an event. In fact, the idea repulses them. End of story.

Neither party in a marriage has the right to issue an all-or-nothing ultimatum about anything...at least not in my world (and, as my experience tells me, not in the world of many independent women and men) -- and that includes alcohol at a wedding (especially if her family likes to enjoy a drink or two). Sure, any couple can practice this radically unhealthy dynamic, but if you take a good look at a couple living that kind of lifestyle, it's always easy to tell which party regularly controls and which party regularly defers to the other.

You're a nice lady, but you've made sweeping generalizations that render your advice dead wrong on this one. Besides, the bride posting this thread is 19. This discussion shouldn't even have begun.