Does this sound cheap to you?

I dont think it sounds tacky at all. We were going to do that with our dinner. with the invites just put a side note saying "bring cash for food and drinks!" something causual =]

I think you should either pay for their meals, or don't call it a reception. You could call it an after party maybe.

Or if you arent set on the restaraunt idea, you could always rent out a banquet room in a hotel and do a potluck! that way if you guys want, you can hook up an ipod and dance as well =]

"Please join us in celebrating our marriage at a dutch treat dinner at XXX restaurant"

(Dutch Treat is a phrase for everyone pays for their own food and drinks.)

If I were you, I would get a cake and pay the restaurant to cut it and give everyone a slice for dessert..)

Good luck!

I would talk to the restaurant and narrow it down to 3-4 meals and give them the prices of the meals available that way they know what they are looking at budget wise. I do not think this is cheap or tacky. I was going to do this for the rehearsal dinner, but then we decided to just grill out at home!!

Tacky is in the eye of the beholder. If it is what you want, and what you can afford, the people that want to be there to share it with you will be, and the people who don't won't.

I do agree with Shellie, though. If you call it a reception, please usually expect to have their meal provided.

You could say, "please feel free to dine with us" and then give the restaurant information. Maybe the restaurant could provide a menu that you can insert with the invitation, just so that there are no surprises?

I agree with Shellie.

You should pay for their meals. Sorry.

Please don't call it a reception if you aren't paying for the meals for everyone. An invitation to a reception that the guest has to pay for is not okay. I think its better to just spread the word by mouth that after the ceremony you plan on going out for dinner and would love for people to join, if they can.

If you invite people to a reception you should pay for your guests' meals. Its not a matter of being cheap or tacky but proper etiquette. We are all on a budget but I would be upset if I were "invited" to any event and had to pay. You can do anything you choose but do not send invitations to a reception where people have to pay for their food.

I don't really like the idea of guests paying for their own dinner but if this is the only way you can have a wedding and invite the people you are close to then you do what you have to. I like the wording that Kimmi J wrote, "please feel free to dine with us". If you go this route please also let your guests know that gifts are not required as you can't expect guests to give a gift and feed themselves, that is super tacky and inappropriate.

I never heard of the term "Dutch Treat," but it seems appropriate. Or you could put something like,

"The bride and groom plan to celebrate their newlywed status at X restaurant at Xpm. Friends and family are welcome to congratulate them in person at this time, however, a formal meal service has not been arranged."

Or something?

Seriously? I would invite your two families to go out to lunch with you and pick up the tab. At a later date, have a 'Dutch Treat' party at a club or a barbeque.

How many people are you thinking? Going out with more than 10 people for even a birthday dinner and trying to split the check can be a real headache. Could you maybe afford something cute like renting an ice cream shop near the courthouse for an hour or two for a social gathering? I can't imagine picking up everyones tab for ice cream could be more than $500 bucks and people remember a neat reception vs having to argue with uncle bob over how to split the bill.

Maybe its just me or the area i live in but i have never heard of a reception where people have to pay for their own meals...my opinion would be to save money have the reception at a park and grill up burgers and dogs for people with a few side dishes like mac and cheese and a potatoes..I dont think that would break the bank and would be a much more acceptable thing to do in my opinion that expecting them to pay for their own food.

Honestly, I don't think that's an option. Serve what you can, but don't ask your guests to pay for their meal. Typically asking guests to pay for their drinks is already controversial. Provide cake and punch and have an afternoon reception. But it's not OK to have a wedding reception (and set up a gift table) but expect your guests to pay.

In addition to that, it's going to be a logistical nightmare. I don't know of any restaurant that is going to let a larger group split the check per person.

I wouldn't do it if I was you.

I don't know if this is a option for you but why not buy cake and appetizers? Eliminate sit down food all together. See if the restaurant offers punch or if you can bring in lemonade or something at low cost.

I would call it a "celebration" not a reception. I go by this rule, if you wouldn't do it at a baby shower, wedding shower, ect.. You certainly shouldn't do it for anything wedding related. So think about your family and what you see on at typical party, if this isn't it, I'd bet little to no one will show up.

Mostly I don't want you to go to all the trouble of hosting the event and people not showing. Keep in mind you can do things like this at local parks with covered picnic areas. You could get someone cheap to cater like subway, Fridays, Lee's, KFC ect.. This would take out the whole "renting" the restaurant and allow for food.

Another idea is to have a bring your own dish reception at a local venue like the VFW of Eagles club. And have a big pot luck. Just some ideas.

Not trying to be rude but how can you have a gift table set out then expect people to buy their own food?..I like what Tabatha said about just paying for the appetizers and cake if you cant afford the meal for everyone.

I agree with those who said it wouldn't be proper ettiquette to invite people to a reception, expecting them to pay for their own meals, especially if they come bearing gifts.