Does anyone else feel their wedding planning process is one-sided?

My FH wants a drive thru wedding in Vegas. So I am not wanting his help. He can choose like A or B, but that's about it. lol

Umm I'm definitely a control freak hahah but he has not been involved much other than making final decisions with me. The past week I've been having melt downs and he seems so unaffected, it's very frustrating. But I like things done how I want them and I have way more time than him, so I don't really mind.

Every time a bride on here asks/lets her FH do something, she comes back and complains that he won't get his shit together. I promise you, it's better this way, for sure!

I think your experience is typical, and actually, maybe a little better than some men who aren't even involved in the decisions.

It is frustrating, though, when we have to do the work, only for FH to swoop in once things are fun (i.e., deciding between options). But for me, I know giving him total control of an aspect like that wouldn't work---he's always happy to do anything I ask, but it needs to be done his way, on his timeline--and that just makes things more stressful for me. That is the only thing I would caution you against-- if you put yourself in the position where you have to "check-in" on him, or keep nagging him to get something done, then yes, it could spell problems for your relationship. But, it sounds like you are already frustrated with how planning has been going in this respect, so bottling it up is not really an option, either. Giving him charge of the DJ could be a good idea-- just make sure you non-directly give him a deadline "hey, can you look for some DJs, ..

...and then we can go through them together next weekend and decide which ones we want to contact?" -- that way you are giving him a deadline without giving him a deadline, and if he can't meet, then you'll know you might not be able to rely on him for legwork.

PS-- you guys are too cute together! I love your pictures

I have been blessed with my FH helping me with everything, every step of the way. He is even helping me with all the DIY projects! He is an artist so he loves all that kind of stuff anyways. If your FH is not one to take control and isn't complaining if you delegate tasks to him, then just have him help you in areas that you believe he can do. You don't want to be overwhelmed and stressed with everything. Trust that he will do a good job at what you give him to do. I wouldn't advise insisting or making him be involved because that may cause problems in your relationship. Also, if you have a close family member or close friend that you trust, maybe see if they would be willing to help you in your planning too. Good luck!

@Trisha I know how you feel!

@Gamecox believe me, I totally have the feeling he will drop the ball and I will have to constantly nag him!

Damned if you do...

@Barbara That is really good advice! I was thinking the same thing about giving him a deadline to get some research done and we can review together. And thanks for the compliment!

@MamaBear So lucky... Stop bragging! hahaha

FH has had a say in every decision that is made. I'm so happy with how active he has been in planning. He wants a say in everything ... from as little as the cocktail napkins and designs on our champagne flutes to the way the venue will look for the reception. He's been amazing.

Good luck delegating. I tried that, the things I delegated never were done.

I wish you luck!!

My FH has had no input in the wedding because he doesn't understand how much thought has to go in to it. He just thinks it will magically happen... sigh.

I'm a control freak 100%, his response to everything is "we gave lots of time babe". I put him in charge of ceremony music and limo... None of which is getting done, yeah I guess I should give a deadline before I freak out lol

Yeah when I tried assigning a task to my fiance, it never got done.

I have given up asking for his help.

I am in the same exact situation. For the past week, I've ben researching about 1 million photographers, emailed about 500 and got about 10 available responses. I told him which ones I really liked and he said to schedule meetings with them. When we talked about it after I sent out emails to meet, not only did he freak about how much they were (mind you, they were all around what I though our budget was), but then he said he only wants a female photographer!!! Are you effing kidding me?! I just did all of that work and you couldn't have told me that before I started?! Mother effer!

I am the head person of this whole thing but deep down prefer it that way. I prefer the control lol Dh comes up with things sometimes and I am like wth dude? It's best he just shows up. I will say he will do most things I ask him to do.

I didn't think I was a control freak but I guess I am. FH tends to put every thing off. We had a conversation about this last night. He said I am good for him because I push him to do better!

I have done all of the planning. I will ask for his opinion and he says he doesn't have an eye for it. He loves what I love. So I usually go with what I like and hope it turns out!

If H had been in charge, we would have had a sports themed wedding with a reception at the local dive bar. I preferred handling most of it myself & gave him small tasks to complete that he couldn't mess up...like room blocks and transportation.

Look at it as a blessing. It is much easier to just do it yourself! If you try to give FH jobs to do when he isn't in to them, they won't get done and you will just end up putting even more work on your shoulders.

Weddings are 99% for the bride. Most grooms could care less about the wedding.

Yeah, I think 95% of us are there with ya, date twin

Yes Kristen, I definitely feel that way too. Why is it that we should be doing all the heavy lifting? Some women don't mind it but I when I ask for you to get something done, you better have at least researched it!

My fiance wants nothing to do with the planning. I got him interested in cake tasting and thats about it. I love him but I ended up making 1201 origami cranes all by myself because I can't trust him to fold a napkin. Love the man but I did give him his Star Wars grooms cake