Does anyone else feel their wedding planning process is one-sided?

Hi date twin!

Yeah, it seems like the popular consensus is that it's for the best I've taken over. I don't mind, per say, but it does get overwhelming at times. He wonders why I'm such a wreck haha.

@Samantha My FH wanted to elope and just have a big backyard party. Sometimes I think we should have just done that to save me all these headaches! I don't even think I trust him to make the hotel block... he'd procrastinate with that for months.

I've found that delegating to anyone is a task in itself. The only one that comes through is me.

Mine participated in about 5% of the planning. He picked groomsmen, their tuxes and gave his opinion every now and then, when I asked. The rest was all me. It was exhausting.

He's interested in cake tasting. that's about it. all of the details are 100% me..but I guess part of me likes it that way.

If my FH has his way, he would pay for half the wedding and show up for the wedding. Aside from that, every decision has been made by me. I have done all the research and have contacted all vendors. I bet he doesn't even know how many reviews I have looked at or how many details I have thought through. (Unlike most grooms, he doesn't even care about the cake or venue meal tastings)

My FH told me that he didn't want anything to do with the wedding planning, which was fine by me-- I don't mind doing the research and making all the decisions myself. But then he randomly throws in his opinions when they are least welcome-- like "I wanted a different shade of purple for my tux vests than allll those decorations you bought" (yes he really did sorta say that) and "I don't want to pay $$ for this and $$ for that" even though I've done all the research and chosen the most reasonably-priced vendors I can find. Drives me crazy!! I think most of us share in this problem though!!

@OP/Kristen..

As you can see, other than maybe small tasks, no one has really experienced a Groom planning alongside the Bride for that long! Lol.

My FH wants to be involved and would do whatever I asked. But I'm way too big of a control freak, I'm hardly letting my mom or anyone else help, and I'm having a very hard time staying out my shower plAnning!! Lol my FH also doesn't understand why we need certain things, he would rather elope, he's been a good sport though not too many complaints so far lol

@Shaila, omg, don't you hate that "why don't we just elope?" It's like, "really? Do you really want me to tear my hair out after I've booked/put down deposits, etc. in about 209384029384029384203984 million different places?" Blehhh.

In the beginning when I was researching venues, etc I got so pissed that he had 10 million opinions but did no research on his own until I cried about it one night. He will spend HOURS/DAYS/YEARS on the computer looking at parts for his motorcycle, though. And omg he's SOOOOOO anal and nit-picky. I feel like I found the perfect first dance song for us. I let him listen to it. He loved the music, loved the words, loved the horns and the tempo and all that but he thought the singer's voice was weird. Lalah Hathaway's voice is not weird!!! Do you think he took it upon himself to find an alternative song that he liked better? No. Do you think he listened to the YouTube clip of an alternative song I emailed him months ago? NOPE. I try so hard to keep him involved (he's been to all but one of the vendor appts) but it's like these things just don't compute. He wants a say in almost everything but wants me to do all the leg work. Today, after our food and cake tasting, CONT

I asked how he felt the planning was going. He said fine but that he feels like he's not in the loop about who is doing what for us. I wanted to drop kick him. And then point him in the direction of the very simple spreadsheet I created showing exactly who our vendors are, what we owe them, our due dates, etc. I guess I made that for shits and giggles. :-/

Nope. I plan, he pays. Pretty much the story of our lives and I like it that way

Same problem. He doesn't do anything wedding related. It is very frustrating. I feel very alone in this and don't like it. On top of that, I worry about the stuff that he has to do... tux fittings with groomsmen, groomsmen gifts, etc. because he puts everything off until the last minute. I really have to push to get him involved with anything wedding related, which just means more work for me on top of what I am already doing. I will say, though, that I just finished our programs and he willingly sat down to look at what I did! Small victories...

Monica, mine is the same about being on the computer looking at stuff for/watching videos about his hobby. I'm doing all this stuff and he's laying on the couch watching YouTube videos the whole time.

For my first wedding, I was working full-time plus going to law school, while he was just in school. Believe me, I was not about to take on even half of the planning.

Second wedding, it was pretty evenly balanced. We each had some things we cared about/were good at, and divided the workload that way.

Frankly, if I'd been marrying someone who wasn't willing to plan more than a drive-through wedding in Vegas, that's what we'd have had. Marriage is important to me, but the wedding itself wasn't that critical.

I literally have to beg for help, so i do it as little as possible. I actually texted him tonight and said "ok I need just an hour of your time for wedding stuff when you are on leave. We need to fill out the paperwork for the cake topper and pick the offertory song for the ceremony." it has to be THAT specific. and i still end up having to give him the death stare until he gives me that hour. I doubt it's worth the fight to get him more involved. lean on your mom, his mom, and your bridesmaids if you need help

It's extremely 1 sided! But I'd rather it be this way because he doesn't care about the little details and I do! It's a lot of work but I've given him some stuff to do, like he's making our cake stand and a ceremony sign.

All mine did was create more work but end of the day he has a hot wife as I like to tell him and he's still

Paying the bill! Lol I incorporated things that were his taste and he was happy. We had a great day and it was worth the work. He kept track of the budget and excel files but after I nagged him to death. We got a lot of compliments so he was proud

My FH is the same! I asked him to choose a first dance song and his mother/son dance song and his response was, "We have nine months, that's something we can decide on the night before." He clearly doesn't understand the planning process! Thank goodness for my mother who has been helping me stay sane!

I do all the legwork, write all the checks to the vendors, organize and keep up with everything. He wanted to fast the food, and when I show him pictures to make sure he doesn't absolutely hate anything I've picked. Other than that, he doesn't care, and I'm totally fine with that.

It's a bit one-sided here too, but I don't mind. Planning is not one of my FH's strengths. I can search the internet and find heaps of options for vendors etc, but he has no idea where to start looking. It's the same for other things - holidays, day trips, finding shops etc. I like planning, and he likes not having to plan, so as long as he gives me his opinion on what I find/choose we're both generally happy.